The Way of Love

 I’ve always been a bit sensitive about Valentine’s Day. Being single for many years, it was such a tough day for me. Instead of moping around and wishing for what I didn’t have, I would proactively look for ways to bless others, married or single. It truly was God’s immense and perfect love for me that saw me through!

I’m not here to criticize the fact that we have this day devoted to love and romance. I just think there’s so much more to consider on Valentine’s Day! God is love and showed the most perfect love by the beautiful words written in John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That, my friends, is perfect love.

We, humans, are far from perfect love. Just when I think I’m gaining traction in loving my husband better, I get out of sorts and fail miserably to love him the way he deserves. Just when I think I’m cool, calm and collected on the freeway, I come across a not-so-nice driver that does something beyond stupid, and I find myself far from a spirit of love. I’ve come to realize I fail miserably at loving well, but when I ask God for help, He freely helps me learn to love as He loves.

God gives us a model of what love looks like. In 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (The Message) it says:

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut. Doesn’t have a swelled head. Doesn’t force itself on others. Isn’t always “me first.” Doesn’t fly off the handle. Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. Doesn’t revel when others grovel. Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. Puts up with anything. Trusts God always. Always looks for the best. Never looks back. But keeps going to the end. Love never dies.”

Wouldn’t you like to love like this? I’m thinking all of our relationships and interactions would do so much better if this was our model. Here’s the kicker: God very much wants to help you and I love as He loves. This way of love is beautiful with God as our Guide.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.