Monday, June 27, 2016

Lessons from la Madeleine's

The other day, I stopped at my happy place, la Madeleines, for lunch. After ordering my Caesar Salad, I made my way to a small table. As I sat down, I noticed an empty wheel chair facing me, piled with clothes. I then noticed an older man sitting at the table, hunched over, eating a salad. Soon after, I saw someone come up behind him and slip him some cash.

I found myself wondering about the man. I assumed that everything he had in life was right there on that wheelchair.  Where did he grow up? Did he have family? What circumstances led him to this life? Where did he sleep at night? What does he fear? What does he enjoy doing? What makes him happy? How is he treated by others? What does he do in a day?

In la Madeleines that day, there was not just a homeless man. Some were moms with kids. Others were business lunches. Some, like myself, were just grabbing a quick solo lunch. There is one thing we ALL had in common. We’ve ALL judged others and we’ve ALL experienced being judged by others. How are we judged? Our appearance. Our actions. Our status. Our job. Our past. Our mistakes. Our choices. Our family.  What we did right. What we did wrong. Who we hang out with. Who we don't hang out with. Do we have a wheelchair piled with clothes or a new Lexus parked outside? Judging others happens everywhere….in restaurants, on our jobs, on the freeway, in a meeting, and of course, on facebook! Sadly, pronouncing judgment upon others seems human nature.

Jesus knew that this judging thing would be something we humans do. In fact, He spoke out against it with a command “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5)

Of course, there are times we do need to judge. We judge between right and wrong. We judge what to do on a freeway and make wise choices. We are called to judge impartially the culpability of a person if we serve on a jury.  I’m talking about something different.  Are you critical of other people? Do you condemn other peoples’ actions? Do you know the full story or are you making your own judgement? Do you speak poorly about others behind their back? Really? Since when are you and I qualified to perfectly judge someone else?

No one likes being judged. So often, people don’t know the whole story of the one being judged. I didn’t know the older man’s story at la Madeleine.  Who am I to judge him? My calling is to love him. Pray for him. Respect him. Who am I to judge others at work or on facebook?  Judging others brings out our critical spirit. Misery loves company so we find others to join with in being critical. We withdraw from those we judge, bringing distance to the relationship. All, the while, a prideful spirit grows. Who are you to judge me? Who am I to judge you? Let’s stop this craziness!

God calls us to forgive others. Let Christ’s peace rule in your hearts. (Colossians 3:12-15) Comfort and encourage others. Honor others above yourself.  Show Christ’s humility to all. Love others…. ALL people. (1 John 4:16)  Don’t let people’s opinion’s or judgements about you steal your joy! Instead, seek out in God’s Word what He says about you! His viewpoint about you is worth reading!

"As long as we continue to live as if we are what we do, what we have, and what other people thing about us, we will remain filled with judgements, opinions, evaluations, and condemnations. We will remain addicted to putting people and things in their “right” place." Henri. J. M. Nouwen

“Judge tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.” Traci Lea LaRussa

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

A Dog's Life

Zoe, our English Spaniel, is celebrating two years being a part of our little family. Zoe came to us June 15, 2014, the day the Spurs won the NBA Finals. It was a great night celebrating Zoe’s arrival and our Spurs winning the NBA championship.  Fast forward two years, Zoe and I are sitting on the couch watching the NBA Finals. Zoe doesn’t particularly care about the game. She’s sleeping. In fact, Zoe is oblivious to basketball, although she watches me go way too crazy when my Spurs are playing. 

Zoe enjoys the simple things in life. Just now, the nightly gecko made its usual walk across our upstairs window. Now that’s exciting! Zoe loves performing tricks for Ben when he comes home for work….all for a few treats. She is so excited when I put my running shoes on, knowing a walk might be in her future. When we start piling the kayaks on the truck, she is in rare form knowing that the Guadelupe River is awaiting her.

Zoe doesn’t know a thing about what happened in Orlando.Or Sandy Hook.Or New York Or San Bernardino. Or Boston. Zoe doesn’t understand that all people don’t love other people. Loving is so easy for her! She is clueless to the nightly news. She is unaware of the daily stressors of life. She simply trusts her human parents that they will take care of her. 

We can learn so much from a dog’s life. With the Orlando shootings not that long ago,our hearts still are troubled, horrified and maybe a bit fearful. This crazy stuff just doesn’t stop. What’s going to happen next? How can we be safe? How do we protect our children? Just like Zoe trusts her masters, we would be wise to trust our God.

Consider Thom Rutledge, (from Embracing Fear and Finding the Courage to Live your Life) “Fear takes many forms- dead, worry, panic, anxiety, self-consciousness, superstition, and negativity- and manifests self in many ways- avoidance, procrastination, judgment, control, agitation, and perfectionism, to name just a few. Fear is our constant companion. It haunts us day and night and prevents us from living to our potential. Whether we are afraid of the dark or of being alone, failure or commitment, public speaking or flying, fear dominates our lives, affecting nearly every decision we make.”  As I grow older, I see how fear can become more and more a part of my life. But, I have to make a choice to say “no” to fear.  As I grow in my faith, God becomes bigger and my worries become smaller. What about you? How has fear crept into your life? How have your fears robbed you from living freely? How has fear paralyzed you in decision making? You don't have to live in fear. You really don't. 

Sometimes, a dog’s life seems pretty appealing. But, not really.  We humans have been created in the image of God and that is a miracle!  We have been created for relationship with God and that is a miracle!  As we spend time with God, He becomes bigger and our fears grow smaller. Who wouldn’t want that? Fear not, my friend. God is near.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:3316:33

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Monday, June 13, 2016

A Prayer For Orlando

It wasn’t until mid-day Sunday that my husband and I heard about the mass shooting in Florida.  We were on a plane heading back from a family funeral in Cleveland, Ohio and somehow missed checking our phones until later.  Unbelievable to hear about such a senseless atrocity. There really are no words.

How do we respond? What do we do? I know in the days ahead, we will be informed of ways we can support the victims and their families financially, giving blood and other ways.  But, as we start this day, I know we can do something very powerful. We can pray. In the face of tragedy that leaves us speechless, I ask you to join me in prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, We come to you today grieving for Orlando, Florida and for our nation. We don’t know what to do, but our eyes turn to you, God of all comfort and hope. We pray for the victims who are now fighting for their lives in the hospitals. God, we pray that no more lives would be loss from this senseless shooting. Great Physician, we ask that you give each doctor your wisdom and guidance as they care for those wounded. Give healing to all victims who were wounded, physically and emotionally. We pray for the families and friends who loss someone last night.  You know each person grieving today. Each one. We ask that each one of these family members and friends experiences a peace that passes all understanding as they walk through the days ahead.  Strengthen them to face the future with faith, hope and courage. We pray for the City of Orlando and its law enforcement officials and first responders. Lord, will you gently care for and heal those who saw face to face such horrific loss of life and horror? We pray God, that you would be strong for all those vulnerable today. Hold out your gentle hand of peace to those who witnessed and survived this tragedy. Lord, please walk with them in the days ahead as they sort out the cries of their heart. Father, we now ask that you would meet all of us today with a greater understanding of who you are and who you can be in our lives. It is so very easy for us to turn to fear and wonder, when will it happen next? Should I live in fear? Instead, Lord, we ask that we would echo the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 62:5-8 “Yes, my soul, finds rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Lord, we hold on to the truth that you feel this pain deeply…”The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:8) For all those brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, be near. Be so near that they can feel something unexplainable that can only be You! Give comfort! Give peace! Give hope! Give love! Give mercy! Give unity! Lastly, God of Justice, we ask that you would bring before you all who perpetrate violence. Turn the hearts of those who seek violence away from evil. Bring them to repentance. Lord, teach us all how to love one another as you love us. In Jesus name, Amen.


Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.


Monday, June 6, 2016

Summer Bucket List

Remember the 2007 comedy “The Bucket List?" The main plot follows two terminally ill men on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they kick the bucket.  Since summer officially has begun, I thought it would be fun to come up with a summer bucket list.  Your summer bucket activity list might consist of things like: Schlitterbahn, Sea World, Colorado Mountains, road trip to family, or some other destination. 

But, I want to propose something different. What about starting a summer bucket list of actions? What would it look like if we set our aim high this summer to love people well? How could we show others we love them not only in words, but actions and truth? What ways could we model loving others well this summer to our family, friends and co-workers? 

Here is a start of a list for a Summer Bucket List…

Practice patience. Summer heat can bring out the worst in people. Whether angry drivers or people that cut you off in a line, you can model the virtue of patience by allowing others to go first. Look for ways to show grace to people who don't deserve grace. Remember, we don't deserve it either.

Practice gratitude. What would a summer of non-complaints be like in your household?  Not about weather, traffic, crowds, work issues. NO COMPLAINING! Instead, look for ways to be grateful. Practice looking for things to be thankful about. No one likes being around a grouchy complainer.

Plan forSabboth.  One way to make sure you slow down regularly is to practice taking the Sabboth. (See Exodus 20:8-10) "Sabboth is God’s way of saying, 'Stop. Notice your limits. Don’t burn out.' It is a day God gives us to remember who and what work is for as well as what matters most." (Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook) Rest is a good thing.

Do a service project.  Get outside yourself. Look at summer as a time to serve. Give. Visit someone in the hospital. Work in vacation bible school. Serve in a soup kitchen. Volunteer in a non-profit. Mow a neighbor’s lawn. Care for a widow. Visit a nursing home. If you’re part of a family, plan a family service project! Your kids will never forget this!

 Invite people to your home. The gift of hospitality has long gone out the door in our modern ways! Sharing your home, food, resources, car and all you call your own is a beautiful way to display God's love. Plan a party "just because." Don't worry about if your house is perfect or not. Make it about people, not stuff.

Get to know someone in a different life stage.  It’s funny how we stick with sameness. We feel so comfortable with those like us. Same age. Same stage. Same economic level. It’s easier. We relate to our same world.  But, what about reaching out to someone different than you? Take time to get to know someone different than you. Ask questions. Get outside your world!

 Practice forgiveness. So, did you know that un-forgiveness paralyzes you, not the one you’re angry at? Many times, the other person has no clue what they’d done to deserve the cold shoulder.  But you do!  What would it look like to enjoy a summer where your relationships are in good order? What a way to live!

Did this list get your summer wheels spinning? Now it’s time to come up with your own summer bucket list! If you’re in a family, why not create one together? Make this summer a cut above the rest! 

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.