Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Getting Distracted....Once Again!

Last week, I got distracted. Yesterday, I got distracted. And guess what? Today, I have already gotten distracted. More than once. I will get distracted tomorrow, I'm sure!
 
When I was a kid, the teacher would call role in school.  You were either present (aka, here) or absent (aka, not here) If you received too many "absents" in school, that was NOT good. Being present was always good. Today, being present seems optional. If you get someone's full attention, you're either Jimmy Kimmel or an inanimate object known as the iPhone.
 
I've noticed lately how I've let distractions get the best of me. I can be thinking of one thing and that reminds me of something else and soon, I'm down another rabbit trail.  In all fairness, let's not forget squirrels in the discussion. Every time I quickly change the focus in a conversation with my husband, he yells "SQUIRREL!" Yep, if there were a distraction ranking, I would be right up there with the best of 'em. I'm not proud of this. I've been asking God for help with FOCUS. Being fully present.
 
Being present is much more than just showing up for something. It's being engaged and involved. I find it interesting how our society hates going to meetings. We seem bored when we have to listen to someone for any period of time.  We give ourselves permission to escape to our personal dream world. Our bodies are present; our minds are elsewhere. Absent due to distractions. AWOL. Gone. Unaccounted for. Do you have a clue that others notice your AWOL-ness? What if you attended every meeting being fully engaged, a good listener and an active contributor?
 
Can we ever get ride of all our distractions? No. But we can minimize them. Take note of the things that take you away from the present. Texts? News? Sports? Emails? Photos? Facebook? Twitter? Calls? Worry? Anxiety? Day dreaming? Name your distractors.  Secondly, invite God to help you. God delights in helping us be present. Being present is about loving and honoring those in our midst. God's all about that. Read the Gospels. Note how Jesus interacted with people. He listened well. He was filled with compassion. He prayed. He cared. What a model to follow!
 
I've heard it said that distraction is just another meaningless message to keep you from paying attention to all of the issues that really matter. (Creative Commons) What can you do now to minimize your distractions? Will you continue to allow them to rule over your relationships and your work? Being fully present will change you, your work and your relationships. Who doesn't want that?
 
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

What To Do When I Don't Know What to Do

 
When I'm thirsty, I usually drink water. When I'm tired, I usually sleep. When I'm hungry, I usually eat. Usually. Generally. You get my point. It's easy to have an answer for each one of these basic human needs. But, when I don't know what to do, what do I do?
 
What do you do when you don't know what to do? Figure it out? Google an answer? Ask for help? These are actually all great answers. But, what if we still don't know what to do? You see, some problems are greater than what we can figure out. Some scenarios in our lives don't have a google answer. Even if we can ask for help from great and wise people, sometimes even great and wise people don't know what's best for you. We sometimes forget about going to God.

God is full of wisdom. His understanding is limitless. His ways are far beyond our ways. He knows all and sees all things. He knows right from wrong. He knows good from great. He knows our weaknesses and loves us just the same. He knows when we choose unwisely. Throughout Scripture, He invites us to come to Him and be in relationship with Him. He wants us to ask for wisdom.  And yet we go on. Ignoring the God that created us. Thinking we have a better plan. By our actions, we seem to know more than God. That's called pride.

Personally, I've found great value through seeking help, counsel and wisdom from others. I need other people and what they bring to the table.  I've never been shy to ask others for input. But, I can't imagine depending fully upon others' wisdom! I need God's wisdom for my life. For my marriage. My work. My decisions. My relationships. My meetings. My trials. How does that work for me? I begin my day reading the Bible. I pray about the day before me, asking God for wisdom for the specific things I need wisdom on.  I am always blown away by how much better things go when I start my day with Jesus at the wheel.
 
How do you gain wisdom? Start with humbling yourself and realize your lack of wisdom. Get rid of your pride. We all have a huge dose of the stuff. Realize that you do not know what you need to know in order to live an abundant life. You just don't. You won't know how to handle difficult situations that will eventually come your way.  You just don't. Sorry. But, God does!  Thank you, God!  That's the good news. Read God's Word. Since wisdom is found in the Word of God, are you taking time to study and meditate on God's word AND do what it says? Finally, pray. Solomon was not a wise man at birth, but he prayed for wisdom. (1 Kings 3:11) Daniel admitted he lacked wisdom. (Daniel 3:20) James in the Bible says that if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask of God. (James 1:5) Wisdom is not from birth; wisdom is from God.
 
Proverbs 3:13 says "Happy is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gets understanding."  Happy. Who doesn't want to be happy? I'm game for asking God. How about you?
 
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Steve Bartman and Shame

 
I'm not really much of a baseball fan. Maybe a tad more interested this year. I lived in Chicago for twelve years. I watched year after year Cubs fans be fanatic Cubs fans. Yet, there was never that much to get excited about. Talk about loyal fans! They called their team the loveable losers. Yep, that's what they were.  Now, they are in rare form, the loveable winners.

Of course, if one has been a Cubs fan for any amount of time, you know the hard times that have fallen upon the Cubbies over the years. They've come up with all sorts of weird reasons why they've lost.  Billy goats, black cats and even a guy named Steve Bartman. Ah, yes. Steve Bartman. I remember that day well. I was living in the Western Suburbs of Chicago. 12 years ago. It was the eighth inning of Game 6 of the NLCS, with the Cubs up 3-0 in the game and 3-2 in the series. A Florida Marlins player hit a fly ball towards the Cubs outfielder, Moises Alou. Alou jumps for the ball, but at the same time Bartman, a lifetime Cubs fan, reached over the fence and deflected the ball away from Alou. The Marlins followed up with eight runs that inning and won the game 8-3, eliminating the Cubs from the playoffs the next day.
 
Life was never the same for Steve Bartman. He basically went into hiding since that day in 2003. He was just doing what most fans would do at a baseball game. Reaching for a fly ball. Over the years, people have tried to contact him, to no avail. People raised money to bring him back to a playoff game; he declined and the money went to charity. Good for him. I can't imagine what life would be like for Steve Bartman. A random play in baseball that turned him into an unwilling celebrity, complete with death threats.
 
All of us have done things in life that we wished we hadn't done. Mistakes. Regrets. Or something like Steve Bartman, a random mistake that changed his life. Responses to such a mistake might produce humiliation, embarrassment, disgrace and shame. Let's focus on shame. Shame is something we all experience at some level in our lives. Some consciously, some unconsciously. I can only imagine that Steve Bartman had to deal with personal shame as well as the shame from others because of the outcome of one ball game.
 
Shame can start with self-condemnation. We begin to listen to that voice in our minds that reminds us of our inadequacies. We then cut off parts of ourselves that we judge to be not enough, from other parts of our self that are just fine. We start listening to the shame voice in our mind that says things like... I'm not enough. I'm less than. I don't measure up. I'm not worthy.
 
If I could look into the eyes of Steve Bartman, I would remind him about God and what God says about him. I would encourage him to develop a relationship with God. I would encourage him to read the Bible and listen to what God says about him, not man. I would tell Steve that as he grows in attending to God in his life, he will lose the awareness of shame that can keep parts of him in hiding. Most of all, I would remind him that he is loved by God. Perfect love. Faithful love. Enduring love.
 
Did you know that we hide parts of ourselves from God and others? We don't think God nor others can handle parts of ourselves. It's not true. We all need the love of God and the love of people. When we literally know and are known by God, there is no room for shame to exist. But shame will put up a good fight. We can not walk this journey alone. Every day, we must choose between love and shame. We could all benefit from having safe, loving communities of people where we can live vulnerably, able to expose our shame and still be loved. I hope Steve Bartman has this. I hope you do too. Don't live in hiding. Don't live in shame. God's got this. If you would but only surrender your life to Him.
 
"If putting shame to death requires this much hard work, I would rather have folks along for the journey who are willing to do the same, reminding me that I am not alone in the process." Curt Thompson, MD, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
 
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:1-5)

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Busy Days and Mondays

When was the last time you woke up in the middle of the night with thoughts of your to-do list dancing in your head? When was the last time you started your day overwhelmed at all you had to do? How has the busyness of your work dictated a way of living you don't really enjoy?

I can get so enamored with my "to do" list. Sometimes, my "to do" list has more demands than there are hours in the day. Monday can come way to fast! I can start the new week with a carry-over deficit of all that didn't get accomplished last week. Life becomes like a treadmill.  I start my day on a real treadmill, but the day just keeps going at breakneck speed on a different type of treadmill.  The treadmill of deadlines, demands and reminders of what still has to be done. Busy days and Mondays don't always have to get us down.

Too often, I miss out on the gift of a new day, because I'm in a panic mode. Stressed. Existing but not existing. Present but not really present. How in the world can I get anything done in that mindset? There's got to be a better way!  What can help you and I have a good plan for busy days and Mondays?
 
For me, I want to remember what matters and Who matters. For me, just as I start my day on the treadmill for exercise, I don't want to forget to take time for spiritual health. Time in God's Word reminds me of who I am and who God is. God is steadfast, loving, persevering, caring and full of grace and mercy.  When I spend time with Him, I remember that life isn't just about getting things done. I realize that God wants to partner with me and allow me to do my work in peace, patience and freedom. With Him, I don't have to be anxious, but I can literally give Him every one of my worries and frets.  As I partner with God, I can do my work with peace and calm, knowing that God can and will guide me each moment.
 
So, lets start our day placing our hope in God. Not in other's approval. Not in stress and worry. Not in panic. Not EVEN in our ability to get things done. There is a God in heaven who wants to be personal.... with YOU.  He wants to be your help. He wants to be in relationship with you. He literally will order your steps and guide you each day. Will you let Him?
 
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
 
"This I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3: 21-23
 
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Easily Offended?

 
I couldn't put the book down. Unoffendable.... What a title! I was even drawn to who the book was written for... "To all those who want grace for themselves but struggle to extend it to others. Wait: that's everybody." Brent Hansen, in a winsome and conversational style, helps us give up our "right" to be offended. His first sentence in the book? "Okay.... So this may sound like the dumbest thing you've ever ready, but here goes: You can choose to be "unoffendable." How would things change in your work, in your home, on the highway, if you were unoffendable? You might find the very thought of doing this offensive.
 
Come on. Face it. Being offended is a national sport that we all seem to play. Our reputation. Our opinion. Our thoughts. Our preferences. Our rights. When these things are threatened is when we become offended. We want to be perceived as right. Acceptable. Knowledgeable. Knowing what we're doing. If someone questions us or has a different viewpoint, we can be offended. If someone criticizes us, we're offended. If someone doesn't accept the way we do things, we're offended.
 
In the book, Hansen tells us that we should forfeit our right to be offended. So, we forfeit our right to hold on to anger. It means giving up our pride. Actually being humble. Just recently, I had an opportunity to practice this. In my scenario, I knew that someone was desiring full control of something. I had a choice in the situation. I could be offended by this person's need to be in control or pray for God's wisdom to know how to respond in love. In my humanness, I was irritated. A wee bit angry. But, as I prayed about this, I knew what my response should be. Let. It. Go. Obviously, sometimes, we do need to talk about some issues directly, but sometimes, it's just our pride welling up that must be dealt with.
 
Can you imagine choosing to be unoffended? Hansen writes: "When we choose, ahead of time- before conversations, before meetings, before our day begins- to be unoffendable, we're simply choosing humility." When we choose humility, we won't be passing on our disgust about someone to someone else. We won't be constantly thinking about how angry we are. Instead we will turn to God for help. We will give grace to others. We will forgive. We will move on.
 
Take note of yourself. Evaluate yourself. When are you easily offended? What's going on that makes you most offended? How do you respond to being offended? God would love to walk with you and teach you a new way of operating. Extend grace. Be unoffendable. 
When we surrender our perceived "rights," when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find-surprise!- JOY." Brent Hansen
 
"Jesus, the one who made breakfast for His betrayers, wants us to love as He loves." Brent Hansen.
 
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.