Steve Bartman and Shame

I'm not really much of a baseball fan. Maybe a tad more interested this year. I lived in Chicago for twelve years. I watched year after year Cubs fans be fanatic Cubs fans. Yet, there was never that much to get excited about. Talk about loyal fans! They called their team the loveable losers. Yep, that's what they were.  Now, they are in rare form, the loveable winners. Of course, if one has been a Cubs fan for any amount of time, you know the hard times that have fallen upon the Cubbies over the years. They've come up with all sorts of weird reasons why they've lost.  Billy goats, black cats and even a guy named Steve Bartman. Ah, yes. Steve Bartman. I remember that day well. I was living in the Western Suburbs of Chicago. 12 years ago. It was the eighth inning of Game 6 of the NLCS, with the Cubs up 3-0 in the game and 3-2 in the series. A Florida Marlins player hit a fly ball towards the Cubs outfielder, Moises Alou. Alou jumps for the ball, but at the same time Bartman, a lifetime Cubs fan, reached over the fence and deflected the ball away from Alou. The Marlins followed up with eight runs that inning and won the game 8-3, eliminating the Cubs from the playoffs the next day.   Life was never the same for Steve Bartman. He basically went into hiding since that day in 2003. He was just doing what most fans would do at a baseball game. Reaching for a fly ball. Over the years, people have tried to contact him, to no avail. People raised money to bring him back to a playoff game; he declined and the money went to charity. Good for him. I can't imagine what life would be like for Steve Bartman. A random play in baseball that turned him into an unwilling celebrity, complete with death threats.   All of us have done things in life that we wished we hadn't done. Mistakes. Regrets. Or something like Steve Bartman, a random mistake that changed his life. Responses to such a mistake might produce humiliation, embarrassment, disgrace and shame. Let's focus on shame. Shame is something we all experience at some level in our lives. Some consciously, some unconsciously. I can only imagine that Steve Bartman had to deal with personal shame as well as the shame from others because of the outcome of one ball game.   Shame can start with self-condemnation. We begin to listen to that voice in our minds that reminds us of our inadequacies. We then cut off parts of ourselves that we judge to be not enough, from other parts of our self that are just fine. We start listening to the shame voice in our mind that says things like... I'm not enough. I'm less than. I don't measure up. I'm not worthy.   If I could look into the eyes of Steve Bartman, I would remind him about God and what God says about him. I would encourage him to develop a relationship with God. I would encourage him to read the Bible and listen to what God says about him, not man. I would tell Steve that as he grows in attending to God in his life, he will lose the awareness of shame that can keep parts of him in hiding. Most of all, I would remind him that he is loved by God. Perfect love. Faithful love. Enduring love.   Did you know that we hide parts of ourselves from God and others? We don't think God nor others can handle parts of ourselves. It's not true. We all need the love of God and the love of people. When we literally know and are known by God, there is no room for shame to exist. But shame will put up a good fight. We can not walk this journey alone. Every day, we must choose between love and shame. We could all benefit from having safe, loving communities of people where we can live vulnerably, able to expose our shame and still be loved. I hope Steve Bartman has this. I hope you do too. Don't live in hiding. Don't live in shame. God's got this. If you would but only surrender your life to Him.   "If putting shame to death requires this much hard work, I would rather have folks along for the journey who are willing to do the same, reminding me that I am not alone in the process." Curt Thompson, MD, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves   "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:1-5) Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.