Easily Offended?

 

I couldn't put the book down. Unoffendable.... What a title! I was even drawn to who the book was written for... "To all those who want grace for themselves but struggle to extend it to others. Wait: that's everybody." Brent Hansen, in a winsome and conversational style, helps us give up our "right" to be offended. His first sentence in the book? "Okay.... So this may sound like the dumbest thing you've ever ready, but here goes: You can choose to be "unoffendable." How would things change in your work, in your home, on the highway, if you were unoffendable? You might find the very thought of doing this offensive.

 

Come on. Face it. Being offended is a national sport that we all seem to play. Our reputation. Our opinion. Our thoughts. Our preferences. Our rights. When these things are threatened is when we become offended. We want to be perceived as right. Acceptable. Knowledgeable. Knowing what we're doing. If someone questions us or has a different viewpoint, we can be offended. If someone criticizes us, we're offended. If someone doesn't accept the way we do things, we're offended.

 

In the book, Hansen tells us that we should forfeit our right to be offended. So, we forfeit our right to hold on to anger. It means giving up our pride. Actually being humble. Just recently, I had an opportunity to practice this. In my scenario, I knew that someone was desiring full control of something. I had a choice in the situation. I could be offended by this person's need to be in control or pray for God's wisdom to know how to respond in love. In my humanness, I was irritated. A wee bit angry. But, as I prayed about this, I knew what my response should be. Let. It. Go. Obviously, sometimes, we do need to talk about some issues directly, but sometimes, it's just our pride welling up that must be dealt with.

 

Can you imagine choosing to be unoffended? Hansen writes: "When we choose, ahead of time- before conversations, before meetings, before our day begins- to be unoffendable, we're simply choosing humility." When we choose humility, we won't be passing on our disgust about someone to someone else. We won't be constantly thinking about how angry we are. Instead we will turn to God for help. We will give grace to others. We will forgive. We will move on.

 

Take note of yourself. Evaluate yourself. When are you easily offended? What's going on that makes you most offended? How do you respond to being offended? God would love to walk with you and teach you a new way of operating. Extend grace. Be unoffendable. 

When we surrender our perceived "rights," when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find-surprise!- JOY." Brent Hansen

 

"Jesus, the one who made breakfast for His betrayers, wants us to love as He loves." Brent Hansen.

 

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.