Holidays and Hope

It seems that holidays have a way of bringing to the surface the reality that our life is not as perfect as we’d like it to be. Did you know that more people get discouraged and depressed at the holidays than at any other time of the year?

When you think of the holiday season, what brings a sense of sadness to you? A loss of a significant friendship or relationship? A loss of a loved one? The effects of COVID on your life and work? Dealing with a health crisis?

We can look at social media and sometimes our lives can feel as if they come up on the short end of the stick. We compare ourselves with others and can feel that God has forgotten us! Those hidden hurts, pains, and losses can really affect our holiday joy. Here are a few thoughts to consider as you approach this season:

God is our hope, no matter how hard the holiday is. I remember a few years ago, we had to put our precious dog Zoe down the day after Christmas. That Christmas was just a very tough day as the clock ticked on. Oh, how we dreaded that next day. As we wept and cried, we struggled to pray. But, we prayed. We pleaded with God to help see us through. No, it wasn’t easy. It was devastating. We had to cling to the truth that we had a loving Savior whose plan is perfect, even though we didn’t understand.

God fills the gap, no matter what it is. As you glance at social media, life can look super perfect for some and not for others. We can quietly come up with the conclusion that so and so has a better life. More money. More family. Better job. Better home. Wow…. Do you realize how deadly this can be? As much as we long for life to be different, God gives us the capacity to be content in our current situation. Paul in Philippians 4:11-12 states “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content… I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” God uses our challenging situations to teach us contentment. As we learn to trust God for the gap in our lives, we learn contentment, just like Paul did! God fills our gap with Himself!

God wants our hearts this Christmas, no matter what else tugs at them. Consider Mary, the mother of Jesus. A young teenager, engaged, but not married to a man named Joseph. Then one day, the angel Gabriel greeted her, told her that she was highly favored and that she would deliver the Christ-child. Mary gave up her dreams of marrying Joseph, her great reputation, and living a simple life for obeying God. Instead of questioning God, she responded “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38) I want that kind of faith. Faith that says “Yes, Lord, whatever You want for me, I will do.” Faith that keeps my mind focused on Jesus, studying His Word, and seeking Him in prayer. Why? Because I know He wants my heart this Christmas. Jesus wants all of me this Christmas and that’s what I want to give Him.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio. 

Grumbles, Gravy and Gratitude

I love Thanksgiving for so many reasons! I’m a pretty big fan of the Thanksgiving fare unless the leftovers drag on past two days. After that, done with Thanksgiving. But I don’t want to be done with thanksgiving! I want to have an attitude of gratitude throughout the year.

I would like to get through this Thanksgiving without allowing grumbling. I can grumble about the goofiest of things…long lines at the grocery, busyness, being cut off in traffic or when the gravy doesn’t look like gravy!! You know, all those things that could go wrong with the Thanksgiving meal…too dark, too light, too salty, too done, and too much. Yep, those of us cooking know what I’m talking about. Even cooking can foster a grumble here or there!

Grumbling usually happens for me when what I expect doesn’t turn out the way I expect. We expect one thing to happen, and we get the opposite. And it’s hard not to let everyone know exactly how we feel about that! Not happy.

Grumbling really is about as opposite of gratitude as you can get.  Instead of thanking God for all the amazing gifts, He gives us, we are basically telling God “What You’re doing isn’t enough for me…”.  This attitude and spirit can not only affect our own individual hearts but affect those around us. If you have kids, kids can pick up on adult grumbles and imitate!

What would it look like if you modeled a thankful life? Not just this week, but continually? No more grumbling with our words. No more eye rolls. No more allowing irritations to get the best (worst) of you. No more heavy sighs. Look at your own “go-to” actions when it comes to grumbling. When do you do it? What do you say? How does your heart feel when you engage in grumbling? Stop and consider a better way.

Why not make the holidays a time to engage in spending time with God? When I write in my prayer journal, one thing I try to do is thank God each day for certain things in my life, often the difficult things. When I turn my attitude to a spirit of gratitude and consider what God has done for me, things change in my spirit. I don’t think being grateful is easy. I think it must be learned. We learn by practicing gratitude. Every day, we have an opportunity!

Let gratitude be a part of your day today and each day moving forward. Notice how different you feel. Notice how different others feel around you. Don’t let your grumbles steal your gratitude this Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving!

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Do Worries Come True?

Perhaps you’ve been around long enough to realize that many of the things you worry about don’t come true.

A study done at Penn State University had participants write down their specific worries for ten days whenever they noticed they were worrying. (These participants had generalized anxiety disorder and problems with uncontrollable worry, sleep, concentration.) They were reminded four times a day to record any worries they had had in the past two hours to make sure their worries were being captured in the data. The study participants then reviewed their list of worries every evening over the next 30 days to see if their worries came true. What was the result? 91 percent of the worries were false alarms. The remaining 9 percent of worries that did come true, the outcome was better than expected. For one in four participants, exactly zero of their worries materialized. (Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, How Often Do Your Worries Actually Come True, 2019)

Paul in Philippians 4:6-7 gives a foundational plan for worry: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It seems I can know this verse intellectually, and at the same time, miss exactly what God calls me to do. Don’t be anxious. Give thanks. Give my needs to God. God will give me amazing peace. God will guard my heart and mind. Sometimes, we can know the right things to do, but still, fail to practice them.

How can I, knowing God, live my life free from anxiety and worry? Because God can be trusted. If I allow myself to be dragged away into my worst and darkest imaginations of the future, I will most surely face these worst-case scenarios alone. Why? God is not present in what does not exist. He gives us our daily bread for TODAY. He gives us His abundant grace for TODAY. 

When I start my day reading Scripture and praying, it truly helps me partner with God throughout the day. I want to live my entire life in the presence of God, not worrying about the future, but asking Him to guide me in the present. When I ask Him, He does help!

Take a moment today and recall how God has met you in the past. Consider what He’s done and how His promises are true. Pray that God will help You live in the here and now. Give your requests to Him. And don’t forget to thank Him. Gratitude changes everything!

Do your worries come true? Why waste all this time on worry when most of our worries don’t really materialize?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

My Mess

Courtside at the Spurs game and what do I do? Spill my drink on the floor.  Not just a little bit, but a lot. It seems that I’m ditzy at the worst possible moments. Reinforcements were called in and soon, a towel lady was there to wipe up my mess. Really, Nancy?

The truth is I not only make mistakes on a regular basis, but I’m pretty good at sinning. It comes naturally. I don’t like it, but it’s a part of my human nature. What I notice most about my mistakes is this: I want to cover them up. I want to hide them. I want to act like it didn’t happen. I want to blame it on someone else.

We prefer to live with the false confidence that we’re basically good people who occasionally have a “spill” here and there. In other words, we all sin, but we do our best to cover it up and can literally live our lives this way. If we believe that, we’re failing to deal with the issue of sin that lurks within each of our hearts.

Perhaps we measure ourselves by the wrong standard? Oh, I don’t have as many spills as that person does! But, if I compare my goodness with others, that standard won’t work. It’s the wrong standard! Maybe I’ll feel good for a moment, but being better than so and so isn’t really a meaningful standard. Also, I'm bound to find someone who's way better than me! Again, not a good standard. 

God’s standard is different; God IS the standard and He is perfect. God is righteous. No matter how much human righteousness we have, it cannot meet the standard God gives. We can’t even measure up to our own standards! There is not one person on the face of the earth that is righteous, not one, the Bible states. (Romans 3:10) So, what do we do?

Coming to grips with that I’m ALWAYS going to sin is quite freeing. God’s standard is to be as good as God himself. None of us can reach that outside of Jesus! God sent Jesus to this earth and ultimately to the cross to deal with our sin problem. For me, understanding my own sin problem helps me jump for joy for God’s grace! I don’t HAVE to try to earn God’s favor through my own meager efforts. Because of God’s grace, He changes my desires to want what He desires and to love what He loves.

Do I still mess up? Every day. Yet, God is there, so patient and so loving to help pick me up and remind me that I’m clean before Him. The more I realize I can’t please God on my own, it drives me to need God more and more. There’s an added benefit. Rick Warren says it so well: “The love of Jesus Christ covers your sins, and it also gives you the power to let other people off the hook. You’ve been forgiven and you can forgive others.” We not only experience the gift of God’s grace, but we extend grace to others. Who doesn't need a bit of grace these days?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Mercy

So, Chara, our doggie, surprisedly passed her Canine Good Citizen Test recently and now will be a Canine for Christ! Ben and I didn’t have 100% confidence that she could pass. I texted my husband from the test site saying that Chara was being an absolute toad. Maybe it was the full moon? Maybe not.

Ben was shocked when we came home, and I presented him Chara’s blue ribbon. He asked if she received a “mercy pass.” Thankfully, it was for real.

What is the meaning of mercy? Mercy is a gift given to someone who is suffering by someone acting with compassion. “According to the dictionary, mercy is a noun. It’s an event to be grateful for. It’s the compassion or forgiveness shown to someone. It is a noun in action.” (Compassion, Defining and Understanding the Meaning of Mercy)

Throughout the Bible, we see how mercy relates to forgiveness or withholding punishment. Where did mercy come from? Of course, God! God the Father showed his mercy on us when he sacrificed His son, Jesus, on the cross to pay for our sins.

God is merciful and shows mercy, and we can follow! Mercy is subtle but you know it when you receive it. Let’s say you’re at a restaurant and received a bad version of a meal. Our natural tendency might be to go to the waiter or manager and let them know in a not-so-nice way how your meal came up short. If you showed mercy, you might not complain at all or you would be super kind and forgiving as you spoke to the manager.

You might show mercy by serving in a homeless shelter, giving finances to help children in need, or working alongside those who have been trafficked or abused. Showing God’s mercy gets us out of ourselves, our ruts, and our focus on ourselves.

Who is our model? Look to the Gospels and notice how Jesus showed mercy by choosing to love rather than condemn. Wouldn’t this world be such a better place if we’d refrain from condemning or judging others? Over and over Jesus showed compassion and mercy to those who offended and wronged Him.  Mercy triumphs over judgment. Jesus modeled that.

How can you show mercy to others? 1. Be patient with people’s quirks. We all have them! 2. Give people a second chance…we need second chances too! 3. Do good to those who hurt you. Love them. Pray for them. 4. Value relationships over rules. Loosen up on your judgments. 5. Forgive, forgive, forgive!  Would others see you as a man or woman who shows mercy?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.