Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Musings from the Nursing Home

It seems we live in a time when we can be so critical of others.  We judge people who are different than us.  We are quick to jump on those in the public eye, whether they rant about something or tell a lie. Others find it enjoyable to expose others' failures. It seems that those who are most insecure about themselves are the first to judge and attack others. In our workplaces, we are just as guilty. When was the last time you spoke poorly about someone? How do you treat people you don't like? Do you judge them in your own mind or openly before others?

A few weeks ago, I had the occasion to spend the week with my mom as she was fading from this earth. My dad and I would visit the nursing home multiple times each day. My world became the nursing home world. This world was not foreign to me. Back in high school and college, I worked in the summers as a nurse's aide here. I knew it was not an easy job. Yet, the staff served my mom with such compassion, tenderness and love. Many families and residents are quick to criticize when things aren't done just right. Not enough salt on food. Too much salt on food. Bad food. A piece of clothing stolen. Nurses not responding to call buttons. You get it.....just some of the stuff that goes on in the nursing home world. Criticism is pretty easy to find not just here, but in any work place. Some of it is legit. Some of it isn't.

In these special last days of my mom's life, God gave me eyes to see people from His perspective.  I think a ton of people were praying for me, because this doesn't always come natural to me.  I saw the nurses with eyes of gratitude. I saw the laundry attendants and appreciated them. I saw my mom, as her body swelled up, with care and compassion. I saw those in wheelchairs that couldn't move, talk, or understand, with dignity. One day, I saw a younger couple running down the hall, the woman noticeably sobbing. I found out later  that her father had just died. EVERBODY in that nursing home needed compassion and grace.  EVERYBODY. And you know what? You and I do too.

I won't ever forget the last week of my mom's life.  Neither do I want to forget the experience and how God gave me eyes to see the wide range of people around me.  Young. Old. Sick. Well. Grieving. People who need love, care, compassion and encouragement. People who don't need judgment or criticism.  As you start this day, you too can make a choice.  God gives us the ability to be different. You only need ask. Stop judging. Stop criticizing those who don't do things the way you do. Get the plank out of your own eye and love people with God's love.  Dear Father in heaven, I pray that I would not focus on the outward appearance of people and things, but on You. Help me to see you more clearly in my everyday life. Help me to see people from your perspective, not mine. May I see people with the eyes of grace. Help me to see their beauty and dignity, no matter how different they are than me. Show me when I'm quick to notice their brokenness and weaknesses. Thank you, Father, for your compassion and love. May I extend it to my spouse, my children, my friends and even total strangers this day. In Jesus' name, Amen.  

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Russell Wilson and Evolving

Could have. Would have. Should have. Similar words were echoed relentlessly by football and non-football experts alike after Super Bowl 2015. Even Joakim Noah, of the Chicago Bulls, said of the infamous play "I'm French and I know that was bad." (ChicagoTribune.com) The play? New England Patriots strong safety Malcolm Butler intercepted a pass intended for Seahawks' wide receiver Ricardo Lockette with only 21 seconds left on the clock. 

Russell Wilson, the Seattle Seahawks' quarterback, tweeted after the game "Every setback has a major comeback." A few minutes later, Wilson tweeted "At 26 years old, I won't allow 1 play or 1 moment define my career. I will keep evolving." Evolving...to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form. I like that. Wilson has been criticized over the years for his stature (something he has no control over) and what he can't seem to do, but eventually does.  But, I love Russell Wilson's determination! He put a few powerful stakes in the ground very soon after the game.  He WON'T allow one play to define his career. He WILL keep evolving.  Wilson fully took the blame for the call saying "I'm the one who threw it."  

Now, that's one humble leader!  He will not let this one mistake define his career. He will keep developing.  He will continue to focus. He will keep his head up. He will stay after it. How about you? When you make a mistake you'd like to forget, how do you move on? Option #1: You can blame others for your mistakes. Option #2: You can realize you've blown it, live in the past and never let it go. Option #3: You can acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.  I want to always choose Option #3 every time?  Don't you? Not always that easy.

With Russell Wilson, there is something higher driving him on and off the field. That someone is God. Wilson is a shining example of what it looks like to walk out his faith. His confidence is in God. He speaks with conviction from God. He will keep growing, even through this huge loss. He will not waiver from whom God has called him to be. Paul, in the Bible is a model of strong confidence.  In 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, Paul said himself "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed."  And Paul's circumstances were far worse than throwing a game losing interception! 

Our work and our faith CAN mix together nicely every day, if we allow it to.  God would love to partner with you every day as you work. He is ready to help you, encourage you and strengthen you every moment of your day. He would like to help you evolve. Just like Russell Wilson.

"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you, will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Monday, February 16, 2015

My Mom

I've always had my mom.  From those early days as a wee one playing with stuffed animals to my good ole' fashion school days, I've always had my mom.  During my professional years when I worked in Texas, California, Illinois and back to Texas, I've always had my mom. Through the good times and bad times, I've always had my mom. Today, I no longer have my mom.

Just six months ago, my mom fell and broke her hip. Since then, she worked painstakingly hard to get out of the temporary nursing home back my parent's home. My mom was known in our family as the "come-back kid."  From having Tuberculosis as a young woman to enduring several complicated surgeries, cancer, and a severe car accident, she always managed to bounce back. This time she didn't. The broken hip led to other issues, which eventually led to congestive heart failure.  And so, on February 6th, just one day after her 95th birthday, she slipped into heaven. 

When I was a kid, my mom would read to us bible stories at the breakfast table each morning. Yeah, I admit, I sometimes yawned in boredom. We would hear stories about Enoch, who walked with God. Joseph and the coat of many colors. Noah and the ark. God was with those guys in the good, bad and difficult times. Their stories, over time, got etched into my soul.  My spiritual journey began at the breakfast table.  As I look back on her loss, she left quite a legacy. She built a foundation for loving God and His Word. I will miss her greatly.

For the last week of my mom's life, I appreciated every moment with her. I was at her beckon call. Could I have my pencil? Sure. Could you read me the Bible? What verse? Would you please feed me? Of course. I was fully present just waiting to meet a need. Every look, every smile, every touch of the hand meant something special. I was with my mom and she was still alive. I wondered if every kiss goodbye might be the last. And one day, it was.

I no longer have my mom. I'm sad. It feels really strange. But my mom instilled within me a truth... that I will ALWAYS have God. Today, I'm grateful for that. People will leave this earth. But God will ALWAYS be there for us. I want to live recognizing God's presence during the moments of my day. John Ortberg, in his new book, "Soul Keeping" shares a Soul Experiment.  He begins each day by challenging himself with this question: How many moments of my life today can I fill with conscious awareness of and surrender to God's presence? He will then deliberately imagine himself doing that at home, in his car, at work, on line, watching news or being with others. I'd like to try living this soul experiment. It's about paying attention. Focusing on someone you love during the moments of a day is not as hard as you might think. Why? Because you love them!  Just like with my mom.

Life will never be the same without my mom. But, I'm grateful that God has made a way for me to know Him and walk with Him throughout each day. He's not going anywhere. What about you? In the midst of your busy day, will you choose to be consciously aware of God? In the midst of the trials that come your way, would you invite God to walk through them with you? I will. I need him. Don't you?

"Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."  Matthew 28:20

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.