Messed Up, But Forgiven

There’s a lot of messed-up people in the Bible. The prostitute woman in Luke 7:36-50 really strikes me as one who was messed up and knew it!

Here’s the summary of the story: Simon, who was a Pharisee, had invited Jesus to come to dinner at his house. Simon had committed some social atrocities by not washing Jesus’ feet and anointing his head with oil nor did he greet Jesus with a kiss. All at once, a woman who had lived a sinful life as a prostitute crashed the party because she learned Jesus was eating there. During the meal, she washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. The woman was so sorry for her sins!

Simon was livid! He couldn’t believe what he was seeing! How could this woman get away with this? Jesus knew what Simon was thinking and then told a story to help Simon get things straight. Jesus told about two men who borrowed money. One borrowed 500 denarii and the other 50 denarii. After some time, the lender told the men that they didn’t have to pay him back. They could literally keep the money! ‘Which of those men will love him more?’ Jesus asked. Simon got the right answer! ‘The one who had the bigger debt canceled would love more.’

As it turns out, Simon was so busy judging the woman that he missed out. Jesus was so blessed by the grateful woman that he rebuked Simon’s actions and spoke these words to the woman ‘Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven- for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.' Then, Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’”

Simon saw a prostitute. Simon missed that she was a person, created in the image of God, who sinned. No different than you and I... created in the image of God, but sin. In fact, Simon probably missed her acts of worship to Jesus. He could only judge. Period. In contrast, Jesus saw everything. He saw the woman. He knew her horrible past and knew her beautiful future. Jesus forgave the woman. 

Just as the other guests started murmuring and wondering about how Jesus could do this, Jesus offered the woman some beautiful words of assurance “Your faith has saved you, go in peace.” (Luke 7:50)

Every day I blow it. I sin. Whether it’s the choices I make, the words I speak, the thoughts I think. I fall short of God’s perfection. I don’t want to be okay with my sin. As I ask God to show me my sin, guess what? He does! I want to run to Him with the same intensity as the prostitute woman, who loved much! It’s when we realize the depth of our sin that we can appreciate Jesus’ forgiveness and love. I’m messed up, but forgiven. How about you?

“Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.” Isaac Watts

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

No Big Deal!

It was a lazy, hot day on the Guadelupe River. We were taking our friends from Dallas out on the river with packed lunches, hammocks, fishing rods, and plenty of kayaks. What could go wrong?

It was ten minutes into our trip that I had to get out of the kayak and drag through some shallow rapids. I looked down at the rushing water, lost my balance, and fell on a rock. Although it hurt, it seemed like no big deal. I looked down, expecting a small scrape, and instead saw a hematoma the size of a softball on the front of my leg. We had a “time out” on the riverbanks while I iced and elevated my leg. Others enjoyed some fly fishing. After the injury break and my constant assurance I was ok, we continued our paddle trip.

I’ve been thinking a bit about this little incident. Maybe because my hematoma continues to remind me of its constant presence. It also reminded me of times in my life where I would prefer to hide my inner pain and act like everything was just fine. No big deal! God took me on quite a journey over the years and gently and tenderly brought healing.

I sense that we ALL have stuff that happens in our lives that we really prefer to hide and say “No big deal, it’s just a little scrape.” Yet, all the while, we need to look at the big hematoma and address the root of the problem. We can stuff our emotional pains for only so long.

Life is hard. How do you and I address those emotional pains that affect us? Too often we want to manage or control our destructive behaviors on our own. In addition, we may hide our true selves from others because we’re afraid of them getting to know the stuff beneath the surface. We can busy ourselves with activity, work, and important roles that tend to camouflage the pain...for a while. Freedom is found when we address our hidden hurts, give up the things in life that have brought us pain, and allow others to walk the journey with us.

When you can’t hide your pain any longer, maybe it’s time to be proactive about self-care.  Seek a counselor. Attend Celebrate Recovery.  Go to a support group that deals with your issue. Start your healing journey. Don’t forget that God is right there to help you! You only need to ask Him. God knows everything about us and loves and accepts us.

This past week, I’ve been praying out loud Psalm 139 for a young man going through a crisis. I often pray this Psalm and insert my own name. Such a reminder that God is right here ready to help!

Just fill in your name/pronoun in Psalm 139:1-7 to get you started: “Lord, you have searched ____ and know ____. You know when ____ sit down and when ______ stand up. You understand ____ thoughts from far away. You observe _____ travels and ____rest; You are aware of all ____ ways. Before a word is on ____ tongue; You know all about it, Lord. You have encircled ____.

You have placed Your hand on ____. This extraordinary knowledge is beyond ____. It is lofty; ____ is unable to reach it. Where can ____ go to escape Your Spirit? Where can ___ flee from Your presence?” (Praying through Psalm 139, Joanne Jung) Continue praying the Psalm on your own!

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Cowboy Thinking

Football is back! Amidst all that is going on in our world today, there’s a bit of a spring in my step with football season finally here. I had my eyes glued on the Dallas Cowboys and Tampa Bay Buccaneers game Thursday night.

Since I was old enough to know what a cowboy was, I declared that I would be a Dallas Cowboy fan for life. To add to my craziness, I was intent on moving to Dallas, Texas after college because I wanted to be near my Dallas Cowboys. A true story that became reality.

Being a Cowboy fan has had its ups and downs, for sure. Most of us are aware of the “downs". But that game on Thursday night with the Buccaneers gave me a renewed hope that maybe THIS year, things would be different. Maybe THIS year, they could make their way to the Super Bowl. What could stop them? (TBD)

With plenty of years on this planet, I’ve learned to adjust my thinking on what’s important. As much as I love my Cowboys, if they don’t win, I’m gonna be just fine and not lose sleep over it. I’m learning to have more of an eternal perspective, with my eyes fixed on heaven. So, it’s like I have a foot here on the earth, but one in heaven as well. Maybe, I’ve learned that from seeing the emptiness of earthly things. It reminds me of Paul’s words in Colossians 3:1-3:

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:1-3

The believer is to “seek the things above.” “It literally means to aspire to, desire and seek with passion. In order to seek these things, the mind must be set on them.” (Morgan) As I grow older, I desire even more to aspire to the things of heaven and meditate and dwell upon Christ’s life.

I remember a tough season in my life where I longed to be married and the people I spent the most time with were married women with kids. My mind was constantly questioning my unique circumstance. Had God forgotten me? What about me? How do I live among this community and thrive? It was a challenging season for sure, but God gave me this exact verse, Colossians 3:1-3, to live by. I took it to heart. I lived it. I learned to thrive as a single in my environment.

It’s so very easy to let our minds, circumstances, and realities of our day take us down a “stinkin’ thinking” mindset. We set our minds on the realities around us. These realities will eventually fade away. Sports teams. What people think of us. Politics. Status in life. How people fail us. The list goes on and on.

Today, you and I have a choice. Will we seek the things above? I’m all for a Cowboy win, don’t get me wrong. I gotta’ keep my eyes on Him.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Looking Back

It was a year ago, Labor Day weekend, when I got a call from my husband, Ben, saying he had been in a bad bike accident. I remember physically trembling as I got in the car and drove to the site of the accident. I knew it was bad when Ben said he couldn’t move.

That Labor Day weekend was one that I’ll never forget. I was just looking forward to a nice relaxing, quiet weekend and it ended up being anything but that. The ensuing days were like a very bad dream, but very real just the same.

Even though that weekend was NOTHING like I had planned it to be, I look back on it now with gratitude toward God. I’m not thankful for the bad thing that happened, but I am thankful for how God showed up during the bad thing. There have been plenty of tears, heartache, sadness, and frustrations to go around for this past year. Yet, God has shown Himself to comfort me amidst all my emotions:

SADNESS- Perhaps, you like me, have had some things to grieve about this year. It’s a horrible feeling. Grief involves loss. Loss of life, loss of job, loss of home, loss of physical capabilities, loss of freedoms, loss of life like we knew it, etc. Grief is exhausting, especially when it goes on and on. It’s been exacerbated when there is the death of a loved one, and we can’t even say goodbye in a timely manner! I remember running to Jesus and taking up His invitation found in Matthew 11:28-30. It says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Jesus invites us to lean into Him. Resting in Jesus for me involved literally laying all that’s on my heart down at his feet and trusting that He will work things out. I reached out to Him constantly in the midst of my weariness. He was so faithful to meet me there. Every time.

ANXIETY: I remember the days following Ben’s accident, I struggled with fear, worry, and anxiety. Will he make it through the surgery? Will he be able to resume the activities that he loves? How will I care for him? I know 2020-2021 hasn’t been a breeze for anyone. There’s a nagging, lurking thought in all our minds “What if there’s more craziness in the months ahead?” Anxiety has been a prominent emotion for many of us during this last year.

I find such comfort in an Old Testament prophet named Isaiah who offers such peace in times of trouble. “Fear not, for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) No matter what we’re going through, the God of the universe promises to strengthen us and help us through it. He will help us and hold us when we need some helping and holding. He is God and longs to carry you. We keep looking around for some sense of hope, normalcy, and consistency in our troubles. Why not look to God? I can testify God helped and held me through a very difficult season. He will do the same for you.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.