Looking Back

It was a year ago, Labor Day weekend, when I got a call from my husband, Ben, saying he had been in a bad bike accident. I remember physically trembling as I got in the car and drove to the site of the accident. I knew it was bad when Ben said he couldn’t move.

That Labor Day weekend was one that I’ll never forget. I was just looking forward to a nice relaxing, quiet weekend and it ended up being anything but that. The ensuing days were like a very bad dream, but very real just the same.

Even though that weekend was NOTHING like I had planned it to be, I look back on it now with gratitude toward God. I’m not thankful for the bad thing that happened, but I am thankful for how God showed up during the bad thing. There have been plenty of tears, heartache, sadness, and frustrations to go around for this past year. Yet, God has shown Himself to comfort me amidst all my emotions:

SADNESS- Perhaps, you like me, have had some things to grieve about this year. It’s a horrible feeling. Grief involves loss. Loss of life, loss of job, loss of home, loss of physical capabilities, loss of freedoms, loss of life like we knew it, etc. Grief is exhausting, especially when it goes on and on. It’s been exacerbated when there is the death of a loved one, and we can’t even say goodbye in a timely manner! I remember running to Jesus and taking up His invitation found in Matthew 11:28-30. It says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Jesus invites us to lean into Him. Resting in Jesus for me involved literally laying all that’s on my heart down at his feet and trusting that He will work things out. I reached out to Him constantly in the midst of my weariness. He was so faithful to meet me there. Every time.

ANXIETY: I remember the days following Ben’s accident, I struggled with fear, worry, and anxiety. Will he make it through the surgery? Will he be able to resume the activities that he loves? How will I care for him? I know 2020-2021 hasn’t been a breeze for anyone. There’s a nagging, lurking thought in all our minds “What if there’s more craziness in the months ahead?” Anxiety has been a prominent emotion for many of us during this last year.

I find such comfort in an Old Testament prophet named Isaiah who offers such peace in times of trouble. “Fear not, for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) No matter what we’re going through, the God of the universe promises to strengthen us and help us through it. He will help us and hold us when we need some helping and holding. He is God and longs to carry you. We keep looking around for some sense of hope, normalcy, and consistency in our troubles. Why not look to God? I can testify God helped and held me through a very difficult season. He will do the same for you.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.