The "They" Factor

When I wanted something as a kid, I would tell my mom “They (everyone except me) have this or that.” She would kindly respond “Well, they are they and you are you. It doesn’t mean you have to have it.” My young mind couldn’t reconcile this situation. It seemed astronomically painful at the time. It really wasn’t.

No matter what age, we can find ourselves comparing ourselves with others. In our minds, we sort of review a person’s situation and decide whether they are worse or better at the comparison theme. This private craziness goes on to the point where one can get unduly depressed by one’s status in life. We can find ourselves comparing sizes of homes, types of cars, bodies, children, grandchildren, professional status, health, athletic abilities, business acumen, degrees, retirement plans and more. It never ends. Well, maybe it can.

I love Psalm 73! Asaph writes in Psalm 73:1 “Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.” He then went on to share that he envied the arrogant. Time and time again (over 10 times, I counted) he uses the word ‘they’ or ‘their’ to describe others. His heart had forgotten about the goodness of God and had latched on to those around him. That mind switch adversely affected him. Yep. That’s what comparison does.

But in Psalm 73:16-17 things changed: “When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God…..”  At that point, Asaph’s heart changed. He got with God. He worshiped God. His hard heart softened and He saw the greatness and presence of God! He writes in Psalm 73:25-26 “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fall, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Sometimes, you and I just need to get with God. Get His perspective. Comparing ourselves with each other really doesn’t work. It makes us resent those we love and gives us a jealous, discontent spirit. Let’s start our day with a huge dose of gratitude to God. You are loved by God. You are special to God. You are adored by God. There is no one like you. You matter to God. There's no need to compare.

Being in the sanctuary with God changes your perspective. Just try.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.