Fast Car

Like so many, I was so moved by Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs performing "Fast Car" at the Grammy's last week. I must admit, I pressed play over and over. It just touched me to the core. Her radiant smile and beauty. The way they sang together. The way Combs honored Chapman and recognized he was with greatness.

Why did it touch us so much? Was it the nostalgia of it all? Was it because of the story of loving and caring for people and not being a victim? Was it the feeling of belonging and driving to a new life? Was it the reality that you cannot change somebody even if they need help? Or maybe a song of compassion and hope, which we all need?

Do any of these phrases connect with you?....

I know things’ll get better
You’ll find work and I’ll get promoted
And we’ll move out of the shelter
Buy a better house and live in the suburbs
Somebody’s gotta take care of him/So I quit school and that’s what I did
And I, had a feeling that I belonged
I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone.

I had a feeling that I belonged. Yeah, that hit me. I’ve always struggled with feeling different. And so that word hit me hard. Belonging. We all want to belong, don’t we? Maybe you’ve asked these questions at one point or another.

Who will accept me for who I really am? How can I experience meaningful belonging? How many people know me well? Do I fit in and what does that look like?

Genesis 16 tells the story of three characters, Abram, Sarai, and Hagar. Abram and Sarai were to care for Hagar, who was an outsider. Instead of helping her belong, Hagar was abused and mistreated. Hagar then fled from them, trying to find her way, only to have the angel of the Lord find her and ask: “Where have you come from and where are you going?" (Genesis 16:8) This is our God! I’m so grateful that Hagar was pursued by God! Hagar wasn’t even looking for God. But God was looking for her.

God finds those who are destitute and don’t feel they belong and brings them back to Himself. Whether you feel that you are alone or isolated, you have a God who is personal and sees you.

Where are you seeking to belong? Are you listening to the enemy's lies that say, “You’re all alone.” “You don’t belong.”  Do you feel that God has abandoned you? Please know that God loves you so much and pursues you wholeheartedly.

Tim Keller wrote “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God.”

Let’s just take one more listen and enjoy:https://twitter.com/mrajchan/status/1754752564539850888

Hope is not just in hoping things get better. Hope is in Christ, where we can have a firm foundation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc8l2u4uRVM

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Conversations with God

Day in and day out we have conversations with people. I read online that one study out of Britain revealed that the average person has 27 conversations every day, lasting an average of 10 minutes each.

Do you ever think about how much you talk? How much do you listen to those you’re in conversation with? What do you learn as you visit with people?

Every day we have conversations with those we work, live, and play with. These conversations can be as simple as “How are you doing?.... Fine!” But often, those conversations are way more complex:

Giving and receiving negative feedback
Relational challenge between a spouse, workmate, or friend
Talking about your pay at work
Struggling to understand a decision
Talking politics with those with a different opinion

In my life and work, I think one of the most important things I’ve learned is that conversations with people go way better if I have regular conversations with God. As I’ve grown older, I have a more desperate need for God. That need has drawn me to having an ongoing dialogue with Him throughout my day.

Helplessness- I go back to the great work of O. Hallesby called “Prayer.” Hallesby calls helplessness the surest indication of a praying heart. It is the last resort of the helpless. We try everything before we finally resort to prayer. But what if helplessness is your best prayer? When we go to God with our helplessness, we are constantly appealing to His Father's heart. It’s the prayer of dependence, openness, trust, and listening love.  Helplessness is quite powerful. Realizing that we are human, and God is God helps us see our place in this life. We need Him! And get this! God longs for us to come to Him and enjoy constant conversation with Him in our helplessness.

Talking to God- I find that many people have a hard time praying. They listen to other “professional” pray-ers and assume they can’t possibly pray like that! So, they don’t. Prayer is scary. Yet, if you fear prayer, you are missing one of the most amazing gifts of communing with God! How does one talk to God? You talk to God! He always listens, not like humans at times. Prayer begins with us seeing that we can talk to our heavenly Father and He listens and answers! We come to Him in our helplessness. We come to Him in our joys. We come to Him with our desires. We share what’s on our minds. That’s prayer.

Listening to God- Often, we try to gain control with our words. By listening, when done well, we give power away. We wait. We pause. We invite God to speak. We bend our ears so we can’t miss one word! I love the promise of God in Isaiah: “Before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24 ) Humility is critical when we listen to God. We come to grips that He is God and we are not. What if we approached our relationship with God as a listener? Keep in mind, that He longs to speak to You. 

Today, consider your relationship with God. Do you enjoy ongoing conversations with your heavenly Father? Do you take time to listen? What would it look like to develop your prayer life in 2024?

“Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:9

 “Morning by morning he wakens-wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught.” Isaiah 50:4

Take a listen to learn how to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC1xT3idGqs

  Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Learning in the Ups and Downs

It was an exciting weekend of NFL football, but sadly the Dallas Cowboys were NOT involved. I thought this year would be different and the Cowboys would make it to the Super Bowl. But sadly, they lost their playoff game. Again.

Then there are the San Antonio Spurs. I was thinking that once Victor Wembanyama joined the team, things would be different. But alas, they have one of the worst records in the NBA. I had high hopes for the Spurs this season. What happened?

There is certainly more to life than our favorite sports teams winning their games! I get that. As I started thinking about my disappointment, I came across a portion of an interview with Coach Popovich after a recent Spurs game.

The interviewer asked: “How do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? In your situation, where do you find the hope and belief that there are better days ahead?”

Coach Popovich answered: “You have a choice. You either believe that or the other. Or you become a defeatist. We all have ups and downs. We all know the comment that you don’t know who you are until you’ve been knocked in the teeth. It’s true. You hope the players have the character to understand it’s a process. It’s not instantaneous. You have to have the patience and know it’s a teaching situation…."

I love Pop’s comments. We DO have a choice. Far beyond sports, we have a choice in the ups and downs of life as to how WE respond. It’s during those challenging times that we build character and recognize patient endurance is possible with God at our side.

I think one of our responses during hard times is “Why is this happening to me? Why am I having such a difficult time? When will things change?”  For me, I get to the point in my difficult situation that I can’t control the outcome that I want. Things aren’t going my way. Then I realized that life is not about “my” way.

It’s during these ups and downs of life, that God gets our attention. I certainly would welcome life to be one “up” after another. But, it’s during suffering, pain, and losses that we can grow in our faith and become more like Jesus. The Bible speaks to building character during our struggles.  Romans 5:3-4 says “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” This progression in endurance, strength of character, and hope is one to seek!

The reality that we encounter adversity and loss in life is not nearly as important as how we choose to deal with it. When those hard times happen, we all have a choice of how we’re going to handle it.

God will use our losses. God will use our setbacks. God will use our trials. God will use our hurts. Trust Him. Run to Him. He is near.

Our God is a God of the Hills and Valleys! Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4rRCjrAyCs

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

How 'Bout Them Cowboys?

I’ve been a Dallas Cowboys fan since I was a little kid. In my youthful mind, I figured the team to support should have something to do with horses, so I chose the Cowboys. I eventually moved to Dallas so I could be close to them. Crazy, but true.

So, last weekend was pretty special. It finally happened. Jerry Jones inducted Jimmy Johnson into the Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor during Dallas’ home game against Detroit. As you might know, it was during Johnson’s coaching era that the Cowboys went from 1-15 season, to make the playoffs and win back-to-back Super Bowls. It was quite a special time with the other Ring of Honor greats, like Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, and Emmit Smith. So many fun memories from living in Dallas back in those special days!

At the end of his phenomenal speech, Jimmy Johnson said “Thank you, thank you, thank you and I just got one thing left to say “How ‘bout them Cowboys?”  That. Was. So. Cool. You don't want to know how many times I replayed that.

Jimmy Johnson waited 30 years for this day to happen. Supposedly there was a reason for the wait, a demise in the partnership between Jones and Johnson. I don’t know all the details of the split, but thankfully, things have changed, and Jimmy Johnson now has his name alongside the Cowboys’ most legendary figures, even if he had to wait 30 years.

Who in the world wants to wait for something 30 years? Honestly, I’d like to be so bold to say I hate waiting for a long traffic light….30 seconds! It’s hard to wait!

As you and I look toward 2024, what do you want to see happen that hasn’t happened yet? It’s especially hard to wait when we watch others get what WE may have been waiting for. I imagine Jimmy Johnson felt that way when others got into the Ring of Honor before him. Since he’s 80 years old, he probably wondered if he’d see it in this lifetime!

I have some things I’m waiting for. You do too. They’re things I’ve been praying for and care about deeply. While I wait, I realize that God’s got this. He does. Psalm 130:5 says, “I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”  My hope is in Him.

And while I wait, I don’t have to worry, stress out, doubt, or make a hissy fit. I practice patiently waiting on the Lord. My hope isn’t in another person coming through for me. My hope is in the Lord. I don’t have any idea of a timeline of things happening, but I can trust in God and His promises. I’m trusting that God is moving on my behalf and He is at work, even though I don’t see it.

There was one thing I noticed about that grand celebration for Jimmy Johnson. There was incredible joy and celebration for him. It was his day! It finally happened! And the whole stadium and those of us on TV celebrated!

What are you waiting for?  Bearing a child? Your child to thrive? Finances to improve? Getting married? Physical healing? A promotion? A relationship to change? Are you wondering if or when God will send an answer? God hears our prayers and He’s working out the answers even though we don’t see it.  Will you trust God in your waiting?

Even though we don't see it, He's still working...will you trust Him? Take a listen to Leeland and Waymaker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJCV_2H9xD0

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Growing as a Human Being

As you start this new year, how might you grow? What if you and I took the time to look at our shortcomings and ask the solid question: How might I become a more fully developed human being in 2024?

David Brooks, in his excellent book “How to Know a Person,” writes: “People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”

Brooks goes on to write “And a life spent on social media is not exactly helping people learn these skills. On social media, you can have the illusion of social contact without having to perform the gestures that actually build trust, care, and affection. On social media, stimulation replaces intimacy. There is judgment everywhere and understanding nowhere.”

So what do we do? How do we humans navigate relationships when there can be so much cruelty, judgment, grudges, mistrust, and indifference? Brooks writes “No crueler punishment can be devised than to not see someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.” It’s saying to someone: You don’t matter.

Brook’s book has been so insightful and motivating for me to grow more as a fully developed human being in 2024. Is there a point in our lives where we don’t feel we need to learn something new? God forbid! I’ve enjoyed taking the time to be a student of Brook’s book. But I also need God's help in growing in these ways of relating to people.

When I stay close and remain in Christ, He teaches me so much! John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Ok, I know it’s so easy to mess up in the relational department. But the message of this verse is clear. Our most fruitful, most satisfying life can only come from remaining (or abiding) in God. God can enable us to do what we cannot do in our own strength. He truly is our Helper!

So, it’s God who can help me learn the skills that go into seeing and understanding others and making other people feel special, respected, and valued. It’s God that can help me judge less and give grace more. It’s God who can help me have a humble posture of asking and inquiring of others, rather than talking at them. It’s God that can help me see great potential in other people. It’s God that can help me see the world through another’s eyes. It’s God that can help me be an Illuminator, not a Diminisher in relationships.

What does it take to humble ourselves and see that we have much to learn in this area? May God help us become people who see others in 2024 the way He sees them. 

“They say there is no such thing as an ordinary person. When you’re beholding someone, you’re seeing the richness of this particular human consciousness, the full symphony- how they perceive and create their life.” David Brooks, How to Know a Person

Take a listen: "Help is on the Way" by TobyMac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVgetIvEIAs

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

What Do You Want for Christmas?

This day is full of a lot of emotions. The joy of being with family. The excitement of baby’s first Christmas. The anticipation of being with those you love. The loss of a family member or friend this past year. The loneliness of what’s missing. The relational strife that still exists.

What do you want for Christmas? Is it the gift you’ve been waiting for all year? Is it good health? Is it a partner to do life with? Is it peace in your heart? Is it having the perfect house, perfect location, perfect job, or perfect family?

When it comes to Christmas, I’ve felt some of these same feelings. Joy. Sadness. Anticipation. Loneliness. Strife. Yet, with all these things we humanly “hope” for, none meet the satisfaction, hope, and peace that Jesus brings.

To the one who spends one more Christmas alone without a partner, God says “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel.” (which means ‘God with us.’) Matthew 1:23

To the one who can’t seem to find peace, God says “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

To the one who needs guidance and help, God says “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” Psalm 32:8

To the one who grieves, Jesus says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

To the one who struggles with relational strife at the holidays, Jesus says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

To the one who questions how God would allow such pain and suffering in this world, God says “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

To the one who just needs a huge dose of encouragement and help, Jesus says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

To the one who wonders if he’ll ever get life together, God says “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fail, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24

To the one who feels abandoned or rejected, God says “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

This Jesus, who was born this day, wants us desperately and loves us like crazy! He satisfies our deepest needs and is the best gift ever. All I want for Christmas is a God like this. Merry Christmas!

One of my favorite songs at Christmas..All is well with Michael W. Smith and Carrie Underwood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG6fQmh9F_Q

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

White Elephant Fun

White Elephant gift exchanges bring out the best and worst in me. I become quite animated throughout the exchange, scheming as much as possible to get the best gift ever. I love stealing. I love taking the best gift from a poor soul who loved the gift immensely. It’s totally fun to go against my character and play the stealth villain at these gatherings. I usually come away with something pretty fun and exciting because I know how to play these things.

We have two parties coming up this week and I’m ready. I’ve done due diligence to get fun, creative white elephant gifts that people would like, but extremely funny at the same time.

As I was preparing for these parties, I realized I knew nothing about the origins of this fantastic Christmas activity. I looked up where this ‘White Elephant idea’ came from. According to legend, it was a king of Siam (now Thailand) who came up with the brilliant scheme of giving actual white elephants to his most annoying, obnoxious courtiers as revenge. It was the perfect good-news/bad-news gift. Nowadays, the guiding principle in the exchange is that you give an impractical gift, maybe wanted, maybe unwanted, and often humorous. My going-in strategy: Don’t come to a White Elephant exchange looking to gain something valuable but do everything you can to GET something valuable!

As much as I love these White Elephant gatherings, there’s a reality that is true for all gift exchanges. A gift is only as valuable as it is important to the person who receives it. I know I’ve gotten some gifts that I have no interest in and they eventually ended up at Goodwill.

Not true with God and his gift-giving! No one can ever give another person the BEST gift. The PERFECT gift. The most VALUABLE gift. That gift is God’s Son, Jesus Christ. Each of us must decide whether we will unwrap and receive that gift. This gift has more value than we’ll ever imagine! 

God knew that mankind could never be good enough or righteous enough on their own to be joined to Himself. So, He sent His Son, as the perfect gift, given to everyone who believes in Him. When you receive this gift, you get it FOREVER. You never earn or pay for it. You never get it stolen. You never have to turn it back in. The gift of God was the most sacrificial thing He could give.

Even though I love, love, love the White Elephant parties, they're not the most important thing to me. I get home and toss my new White Elephant treasure somewhere, soon to be forgotten. Often, I use it as my White Elephant gift for the next party.

The older I get, the more I realize that stuff doesn’t matter. All this stuff will pass away. Life is about knowing God and receiving Jesus, the greatest gift ever. Don’t pass on this gift.

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” 2 Corinthians 9:15

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8

Take a listen to this beautiful song by Shawner Belt Edwards: He is the Gift: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqzpEJuNIBk

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.