The Tentacles of Gossip

 One of my favorite games as a child was” Broken Telephone.” It starts off by a group of people sitting in a circle and the first person whispers a secret into the ear of the person on one side, they whisper to the next person, and it goes around the circle, only to find out when the secret gets to the end, it’s an entirely different secret!

It sure is good and funny when you hear the secret at the end and it’s totally different than what the original person said. It’s not so funny in real life under the name of gossip.

Gossip is all around us. It doesn’t take long to see a bunch of information one could classify as “gossip” on social media. Gossip thrives on Facebook, Twitter, texts, and Instagram, in neighborhoods, on HOAs, in families, in churches, and in offices. Gossip is everywhere and it has the potential to destroy lives.

Have you ever been gossiped about? It’s not fun if you’re on the receiving end, especially when it’s false information. It’s just like the “Broken Telephone” game! Yet, the problem is, gossip is so ‘out there.’ We have no idea how far the tentacles of gossip have traveled. There’s no way to retrieve all the information, make it right or even try to change an opinion about it. Gossip is just gone forever.

I think we would all agree that NONE of us want to be the object of gossip. What we may not agree on is this: Will WE stop gossiping?

I find reading a Proverb a day quite helpful as I seek to live before God. Given there are 31 Proverbs, it’s quite fitting to read all the Proverbs in a month. Note these great Proverbs about gossiping:

“A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.” Proverbs 11:13, NLT

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21 NLT

“A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.” Proverbs 20:19 NLT

I love Rick Warren’s definition of gossip: “When we are talking about a situation with somebody who is neither part of the problem nor part of the solution, then we are probably gossiping.”

How do we handle gossip? 1. Commit to holding confidences of others. Trust is a beautiful gift.  2. Change the topic when you see a conversation veering off to gossip. 3. Don’t spread gossip. 4. Read a Proverb a day and pray that God will help you put a guard over your mouth. (Psalm 141:3-4)

Every one of us is tempted to gossip at some point in time. Ask God to help you be different.

Take a listen to this song. When we have a relationship with Christ, He forgives us of all our sins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

What the World Needs Now

 Given the vitriol of our day, it would behoove us to take heed to the old song, sung and recorded in 1966 by Dionne Warwick: “What the World Needs Now.” I was a little girl about that time and remember humming along with the words as it played on the radio “What the world needs is now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.”

Every day, we wake up to hear such horrific news. Beatings. Break-ins.  Rifts. Anger. Abuse. Wars. Retaliations. Of course, there are those quiet ways we fail to love others. These things won’t make the news; they won’t even land us a ticket. It’s the subtle ways we dismiss, devalue, and quietly slip people out of our lives. We suffer from selective love habits.

I was quietly lamenting the news of the morning; I looked up Romans 2:3-4 in The Message Bible. It hit home:

“You didn’t think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he’s such a nice God, he’d let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he’s not soft. In kindness, he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life change.” Romans 2:3-4

Gosh, darn! It’s so easy to point the finger at others! We’re so quick to judge! We’re so quick to gossip about someone not knowing the whole story.  We’re so quick to condemn the ‘other’ political party, while quietly questioning our own. It’s easier to point the finger at others, while rarely looking deep into our own selves.

Who in their right mind wants their own self-righteousness to be exposed? We’ll do everything we can to cover up, hide, act like it didn’t happen, and even condone our wrong behaviors. Yet, God’s patience is real with each one of us. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance.

The call to love others is all throughout the Bible. Yet, God does not leave us alone in loving well. He sent His Son Jesus to show us the way. It’s Jesus' love and his call for me to love others (ALL others) is my motivation in life.

Come on, you and I both know we love others selectively. God is calling us to shower the riches of God’s kindness, tolerance, and patience on ALL people. Even those people who are hard to love.

In just a few weeks, we have another election. We have a choice. Will we act with anger and disgust towards people whose worldview, gender preference, sin, and politics are different than ours?

Or will you consider the way of Jesus? Jesus took the judgment of the cross and gave us His righteousness. Jesus extends His grace toward each of us. Will we receive His grace? Will we extend that grace to others? Now is the time for His grace.  What the world needs now is God’s love.

Wow, this song sure speaks to how we need God to help us love like this! Take a listen:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UuM3X4VToI

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

God Cares

 So, I screamed at the dermatologist the other day. Like really screamed. I think that’s a first for me. I couldn’t help it. I was having the hopefully last treatment on my poor little button nose for skin cancer. It’s totally wearied of all the work it’s had on it over the last few months.  This procedure was the last straw. The nurse put three numbing shots into the scar tissue to prepare for this procedure. That was what led to my scream(s). I caused quite a ruckus as someone knocked on the door to make sure all was well. Sure, all is well. At the end of the procedure, I got my humor back and asked “Did I win the award for the loudest scream today?” She said, “Yes, for today!”

I literally couldn’t hide my pain that day at the dermatologist. I just couldn’t. But, sometimes, don’t we do everything we can to try to hide our pain? There are times in our life when we can be so discouraged and weary, but the show must go on! We put a smile on our faces and keep going. How do we find God in our pain or discouragement?

This past week, I’ve been reading about Elijah in 1 Kings 19 of the Bible. At first take, Elijah appears superhuman as he confronts a king with all the idolatry going on. Pretty cool to see the courageous Elijah! But then, immediately after, there was a major collapse. Elijah was tired, weary, and discouraged. Let’s read:

“Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So, Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it, and prayed that he might die. I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life: I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.” All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. Then he went into the cave and spent the night.” 1 Kings 19:1-9

To think that right after such a spiritual victory, Elijah would experience depth of discouragement, pain, and weariness. I doubt that Elijah could hide his pain either! Yet, Elijah could never hide from God. God was with him all the time, tending to Him, providing an angel, giving him rest and food, and even a broom tree to sit under! God was comforting him with all He needed so he could continue his mission.

Elijah was human just like we are. He struggled with his mind, his body, and his spirit, just like we do. Yet even when he was at wit's end, He was honest with God. He was ready to quit. He felt alone and poured out his questions to God. God gently encouraged Elijah with exactly what he needed.

My scream in the dermatology office was a human response to significant pain. So often we do everything we can to hide our weaknesses from ourselves and others. But what a reminder that God cares for us in those moments and longs for us to trust Him with every care and concern that we have. Will you trust Him today?

Do you ever feel alone, discouraged, or weary? Take a listen. God cares!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7-IAFogxcM

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him, for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are but dust.” Psalm 103:13-14

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

God's Grace

My husband, Ben, went to prison this past weekend. To be clear, Ben was involved in a ministry in prison. Throughout the weekend, 42 inmates join the volunteer team for times of spiritual encouragement, prayer, worship, visiting in small groups, and eating delicious food made by another team of us serving a few miles away.

I can’t imagine what life might be like in prison, but the times I go into prison for the closing ceremony, I always have a grim reality check. The tall fences. The guards. The strict rules. All are reminders that those that are in prison are there for a reason. They’ve done wrong. They’re deprived of liberty against their will for a reason.

You may wonder, why would a group of people want to go in and serve these inmates. These men have committed crimes that will keep many in jail for a lifetime. The reality is that these inmates, with all their baggage, all the pain they have caused others, and all their sin, God still loves them. God uses these volunteers to demonstrate His unconditional love through Christ.

Some see Christ’s love through being heard. Others see it through worship. Others are blown away by the home-cooked meals. Some weep as they read letters written to them. Some can’t believe that the volunteers would take a weekend out of their life and just be present with them. They can’t believe anyone would love and care for them! And through all these things, they see and experience the love of God.

I sense we can often feel that we’re ‘better’ than these inmates. Most of us haven’t harmed society. Oh, we may have gotten a speeding ticket or two, but not committed a crime. However, even in thinking like this, we miss the reality found in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”  In God’s eyes, you and I are no different than the inmates. We’re all in need of a Savior.

And when we understand the amazing grace of God, we want nothing more than to extend God’s grace to others. We extend grace to those in prison because God’s showered us with the same grace. We seek to love those that have harmed us. We assumed the best of others, even when their best is hidden in layers of hurt and hardship. (Scotty Smith) We become so aware of Jesus’ love that we extend grace in our thoughts, words, and attitudes. May the Lord help us love as we are loved and extend grace to all. We love because God first loved us. 

All are welcome in God’s eyes! Take a listen: listen:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXXxLwxfo0U

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” Hebrews 13:1-3 

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the Greater San Antonio YMCA.

God is Faithful

How do you know if your life is on a good path? Do you take time to evaluate how you’re doing? We can so easily run life on autopilot, not even considering our journey over the course of time. Our daily choices seem like no big deal in the now. But our daily choices over time can become lifelong patterns, which can be either great or not so great.

I’ve been studying the Old Testament kings in the Bible. It’s fascinating how these kings can just be like us! One minute they’re big on trusting God and making faith a priority and then the next minute, they make some really bad choices and crash and burn.

In 2 Chronicles 14:9-15, we see a story about a huge army from Cush gathering against Judah. King Asa had been a man of faith and was seeking God regularly during a time of peace. So, when the conflict came before Him, he naturally cried out to God. Check out his prayer:

“Then Asa called to the LORD his God and said, “LORD, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, LORD, our God, for we rely on you, and in your name, we have come against this vast army. LORD, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you.” 2 Chronicles 14:11

King Asa in his prayer showed his desperate need for God, as well as a confidence that this vast army posed absolutely no threat to God. Asa went to God for physical, emotional, and spiritual help in times of need. He could have easily just seen the vast army before Him and freaked out. But he didn’t. He realized that He fought on behalf of God and that God would see him through.

But just when you think Asa was an amazing king, his loyalty totally changed! (Check out 2 Chronicles 16) King Baasha, from the northern kingdom, led a siege on Judah. Asa, facing this potential enemy, turned to a pagan nation for help instead of asking God for help. Asa compromised! Asa had forgotten that God was the same God who had given him victory over greater enemies in the past.

Don’t miss this! God looks for ways to defend and show His great strength on behalf of those who are committed to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”  “Asa’s fear that God could not be trusted with the defense of Judah was foolish and wrong; God wanted to show His strength on behalf of His trusting people.” (2 Chronicles 16, Enduring Word)

Sadly, Asa wasn’t humbled by God’s correction, but angry! His choices had been challenged. And so, King Asa started out on a good path but failed toward the end of life.

Life’s path will take us through many highs and many lows. Why trust God in those highs AND lows? Because He is always, always faithful! When we goof up, He warns us and calls us back to Himself.

You can’t escape from God. He loves you so much! God strengthens those who wholeheartedly depend on Him. Be real with Him. Tell Him your fears. Call out to Him when you’re in doubt. Trust Him not just today, but every day of your life. You will never regret it.

Check on this great song on the faithfulness of God:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmjUiTGdvko


Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Personal Hurricanes

I’ve not been in a hurricane, but I have seen the destruction of Harvey, which was incomprehensible. As I watched Ian inch toward Florida, I couldn’t fathom all that Floridians were going through as they fled their homes. Loss of property is one thing, but the loss of life is so grievous.

Perhaps, you, like me, feared what was to come with Ian. I have friends that live in Florida. I have family members that have homes there. All we could do is wait, pray, and hope that everything would be ok. When everyone was thinking it was projected toward Tampa Bay, it took a turn and hit Ft Meyers. There was no rhyme or reason to Ian.

I suppose this physical hurricane is a type of what goes on in our own souls. Our own personal hurricanes can come in all shapes and sizes. They hit one way and turn another. They blow into our homes and cause relational strife. They blow into the physician’s office which brings a horrific diagnosis. They blow in from stress and anxiety that can’t seem to be controlled. They blow in from the gossip which literally brings stinging shame and guilt.

The winds of our own souls can often blow uncontrollably with hurt, pain, and deep sorrow. Where does one turn? How can our God be sufficient for our own personal hurricanes?

Psalm 94:19 says “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comfort delights my soul.” The word “delight” literally means “soothe.” The Hebrew word is also used in Isaiah 66:11 of a mother quieting her child with the breast. God was the Psalmist’s refuge, and as he meditated on Him, it made his mind calm. (Psalm 94:19, Bible Hub) God's comforts are His promises that are in His word. They bring peace!

Think about the number of thoughts that pass through your mind in one 24-hour period. In that 24-hour period, our thoughts can range from fear, anxiety, joy, anticipation, worry about what someone thinks, shame, rehearsing, jealousy, comparison, regret, guilt, skepticism, anger, foolishness, and more. I have found, though, that the more I can calm my heart by seeking God, He helps comfort me and gives me peace. Often, I may just be saying a three-word prayer, “Help me, God.” And I can assure you, when I pray that simple prayer, God answers.

As we go through our own hurricanes, God comforts us and shows Himself faithful. We then see that the most important thing we can do is to ask “Who can I love, serve and care for?” You will find that many in hurricane recovery work are those that have gone through a hurricane themselves. So, as we see God take us through our own hurricanes, we will be able to help others in similar circumstances.

Hurricane Ian brought people together. People helping people. People caring for people. May we realize that we can’t go through our own personal hurricanes alone. We need each other. We need to talk. Ask for help. Ask for prayer. Let someone know. We hold our personal hurricanes hostage in our own minds, and we just can’t. Remember, there is a God that cares. People care too.

Is there anything that's stable in this life? Check out this worship song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzQvggUparA

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Never Give Up!

Who created the game of basketball? Dr. James Naismith. I remember learning that in high school phys ed! But what you may not know is the story behind his story.

James Naismith had a tough life. He was born in 1861, but his father and mother died when he was only 8 years old. He then made his home with his uncle. He earned a theology degree from McGill University and then graduated from Springfield College, then the YMCA Training School.  He attended as a student but was later asked to join the faculty in 1891 by Dr. Luther Gulick, the director of the physical education department.

During a psychology seminar, Dr. Gulick challenged the class to invent a new game. He was looking for an indoor activity that would be interesting, easy to learn, and easy to play indoors in the winter. This activity was needed both by the Training School and the YMCA’s across the country. Naismith thought that he could take factors of known games and recombine them.

Then Dr. Gulick assigned him a class of incorrigible students, who had no interest in exercise and no enthusiasm! Naismith felt imposed upon! Why him? He struggled with the class of young men with no success. He made attempts at modifying football and soccer, but that went nowhere. It was challenge after challenge.

Naismith recounts “With weary footsteps, I mounted the flight of stairs that led to my office directly over the locker room. I slumped down in my chair, my head in my hands and my elbows on the desk. I was thoroughly disheartened and discouraged young instructor."  The game of basketball grew out of Naismith’s discouraged, but determined spirit. It was invented by a man sitting at his desk, thinking it through, and never giving up. To think, some years later, Dr. Naismith and his wife attended the Olympic Games in 1936 when basketball became one of the Olympic events! Can you imagine all he felt watching the Olympics? (much of the content of Naismith's life from www.ymca.int)

I don’t know about you, but there have been days in my career where I felt like Naismith…. slumped down in my chair, head in my hands, and elbows on my desk. You know that feeling. Discouraged. Defeated. Not sure what to do. We sometimes can only see what we can see. We can’t see how we can possibly get out of our bad situation. When we’re up against overwhelming circumstances, (parenting struggles, relational pain, work woes, a new diagnosis, or something else) we may see no possible way out. We feel helpless. It reminds me of David in the Bible when he was at his wit’s end. Psalm 86:1-2 “Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in You.” Sometimes, in the midst of our troubles, all we can do is cry out to God. He hears and cares for us!

Just think, Naismith seemed at the end of himself, and yet that was literally the very beginning of the game of basketball! So many people have received such joy from playing and watching the game of basketball. No matter what’s going on, please don’t give up. God has a plan for you and it is always good.

“I want to leave the world a better place for me having been there.” Dr. James Naismith

“My pay has not been in dollars, but in the satisfaction of giving something to the world that is a benefit to the masses of people.” Dr. James Naismith

Check out my favorite worship song these days. I know, I've shared it before, but it's so good. What would happen if we let God take control of our life? Perhaps, it would be more than we could ever imagine!!!! Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrQuKK6jz-4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.