Conversations with God

Day in and day out we have conversations with people. I read online that one study out of Britain revealed that the average person has 27 conversations every day, lasting an average of 10 minutes each.

Do you ever think about how much you talk? How much do you listen to those you’re in conversation with? What do you learn as you visit with people?

Every day we have conversations with those we work, live, and play with. These conversations can be as simple as “How are you doing?.... Fine!” But often, those conversations are way more complex:

Giving and receiving negative feedback
Relational challenge between a spouse, workmate, or friend
Talking about your pay at work
Struggling to understand a decision
Talking politics with those with a different opinion

In my life and work, I think one of the most important things I’ve learned is that conversations with people go way better if I have regular conversations with God. As I’ve grown older, I have a more desperate need for God. That need has drawn me to having an ongoing dialogue with Him throughout my day.

Helplessness- I go back to the great work of O. Hallesby called “Prayer.” Hallesby calls helplessness the surest indication of a praying heart. It is the last resort of the helpless. We try everything before we finally resort to prayer. But what if helplessness is your best prayer? When we go to God with our helplessness, we are constantly appealing to His Father's heart. It’s the prayer of dependence, openness, trust, and listening love.  Helplessness is quite powerful. Realizing that we are human, and God is God helps us see our place in this life. We need Him! And get this! God longs for us to come to Him and enjoy constant conversation with Him in our helplessness.

Talking to God- I find that many people have a hard time praying. They listen to other “professional” pray-ers and assume they can’t possibly pray like that! So, they don’t. Prayer is scary. Yet, if you fear prayer, you are missing one of the most amazing gifts of communing with God! How does one talk to God? You talk to God! He always listens, not like humans at times. Prayer begins with us seeing that we can talk to our heavenly Father and He listens and answers! We come to Him in our helplessness. We come to Him in our joys. We come to Him with our desires. We share what’s on our minds. That’s prayer.

Listening to God- Often, we try to gain control with our words. By listening, when done well, we give power away. We wait. We pause. We invite God to speak. We bend our ears so we can’t miss one word! I love the promise of God in Isaiah: “Before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24 ) Humility is critical when we listen to God. We come to grips that He is God and we are not. What if we approached our relationship with God as a listener? Keep in mind, that He longs to speak to You. 

Today, consider your relationship with God. Do you enjoy ongoing conversations with your heavenly Father? Do you take time to listen? What would it look like to develop your prayer life in 2024?

“Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:9

 “Morning by morning he wakens-wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught.” Isaiah 50:4

Take a listen to learn how to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC1xT3idGqs

  Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Learning in the Ups and Downs

It was an exciting weekend of NFL football, but sadly the Dallas Cowboys were NOT involved. I thought this year would be different and the Cowboys would make it to the Super Bowl. But sadly, they lost their playoff game. Again.

Then there are the San Antonio Spurs. I was thinking that once Victor Wembanyama joined the team, things would be different. But alas, they have one of the worst records in the NBA. I had high hopes for the Spurs this season. What happened?

There is certainly more to life than our favorite sports teams winning their games! I get that. As I started thinking about my disappointment, I came across a portion of an interview with Coach Popovich after a recent Spurs game.

The interviewer asked: “How do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? In your situation, where do you find the hope and belief that there are better days ahead?”

Coach Popovich answered: “You have a choice. You either believe that or the other. Or you become a defeatist. We all have ups and downs. We all know the comment that you don’t know who you are until you’ve been knocked in the teeth. It’s true. You hope the players have the character to understand it’s a process. It’s not instantaneous. You have to have the patience and know it’s a teaching situation…."

I love Pop’s comments. We DO have a choice. Far beyond sports, we have a choice in the ups and downs of life as to how WE respond. It’s during those challenging times that we build character and recognize patient endurance is possible with God at our side.

I think one of our responses during hard times is “Why is this happening to me? Why am I having such a difficult time? When will things change?”  For me, I get to the point in my difficult situation that I can’t control the outcome that I want. Things aren’t going my way. Then I realized that life is not about “my” way.

It’s during these ups and downs of life, that God gets our attention. I certainly would welcome life to be one “up” after another. But, it’s during suffering, pain, and losses that we can grow in our faith and become more like Jesus. The Bible speaks to building character during our struggles.  Romans 5:3-4 says “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” This progression in endurance, strength of character, and hope is one to seek!

The reality that we encounter adversity and loss in life is not nearly as important as how we choose to deal with it. When those hard times happen, we all have a choice of how we’re going to handle it.

God will use our losses. God will use our setbacks. God will use our trials. God will use our hurts. Trust Him. Run to Him. He is near.

Our God is a God of the Hills and Valleys! Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4rRCjrAyCs

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

How 'Bout Them Cowboys?

I’ve been a Dallas Cowboys fan since I was a little kid. In my youthful mind, I figured the team to support should have something to do with horses, so I chose the Cowboys. I eventually moved to Dallas so I could be close to them. Crazy, but true.

So, last weekend was pretty special. It finally happened. Jerry Jones inducted Jimmy Johnson into the Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor during Dallas’ home game against Detroit. As you might know, it was during Johnson’s coaching era that the Cowboys went from 1-15 season, to make the playoffs and win back-to-back Super Bowls. It was quite a special time with the other Ring of Honor greats, like Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, and Emmit Smith. So many fun memories from living in Dallas back in those special days!

At the end of his phenomenal speech, Jimmy Johnson said “Thank you, thank you, thank you and I just got one thing left to say “How ‘bout them Cowboys?”  That. Was. So. Cool. You don't want to know how many times I replayed that.

Jimmy Johnson waited 30 years for this day to happen. Supposedly there was a reason for the wait, a demise in the partnership between Jones and Johnson. I don’t know all the details of the split, but thankfully, things have changed, and Jimmy Johnson now has his name alongside the Cowboys’ most legendary figures, even if he had to wait 30 years.

Who in the world wants to wait for something 30 years? Honestly, I’d like to be so bold to say I hate waiting for a long traffic light….30 seconds! It’s hard to wait!

As you and I look toward 2024, what do you want to see happen that hasn’t happened yet? It’s especially hard to wait when we watch others get what WE may have been waiting for. I imagine Jimmy Johnson felt that way when others got into the Ring of Honor before him. Since he’s 80 years old, he probably wondered if he’d see it in this lifetime!

I have some things I’m waiting for. You do too. They’re things I’ve been praying for and care about deeply. While I wait, I realize that God’s got this. He does. Psalm 130:5 says, “I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”  My hope is in Him.

And while I wait, I don’t have to worry, stress out, doubt, or make a hissy fit. I practice patiently waiting on the Lord. My hope isn’t in another person coming through for me. My hope is in the Lord. I don’t have any idea of a timeline of things happening, but I can trust in God and His promises. I’m trusting that God is moving on my behalf and He is at work, even though I don’t see it.

There was one thing I noticed about that grand celebration for Jimmy Johnson. There was incredible joy and celebration for him. It was his day! It finally happened! And the whole stadium and those of us on TV celebrated!

What are you waiting for?  Bearing a child? Your child to thrive? Finances to improve? Getting married? Physical healing? A promotion? A relationship to change? Are you wondering if or when God will send an answer? God hears our prayers and He’s working out the answers even though we don’t see it.  Will you trust God in your waiting?

Even though we don't see it, He's still working...will you trust Him? Take a listen to Leeland and Waymaker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJCV_2H9xD0

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Growing as a Human Being

As you start this new year, how might you grow? What if you and I took the time to look at our shortcomings and ask the solid question: How might I become a more fully developed human being in 2024?

David Brooks, in his excellent book “How to Know a Person,” writes: “People need social skills. We talk about the importance of “relationships,” “community,” “friendship,” “social connection,” but these words are too abstract. The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”

Brooks goes on to write “And a life spent on social media is not exactly helping people learn these skills. On social media, you can have the illusion of social contact without having to perform the gestures that actually build trust, care, and affection. On social media, stimulation replaces intimacy. There is judgment everywhere and understanding nowhere.”

So what do we do? How do we humans navigate relationships when there can be so much cruelty, judgment, grudges, mistrust, and indifference? Brooks writes “No crueler punishment can be devised than to not see someone, to render them unimportant or invisible.” It’s saying to someone: You don’t matter.

Brook’s book has been so insightful and motivating for me to grow more as a fully developed human being in 2024. Is there a point in our lives where we don’t feel we need to learn something new? God forbid! I’ve enjoyed taking the time to be a student of Brook’s book. But I also need God's help in growing in these ways of relating to people.

When I stay close and remain in Christ, He teaches me so much! John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Ok, I know it’s so easy to mess up in the relational department. But the message of this verse is clear. Our most fruitful, most satisfying life can only come from remaining (or abiding) in God. God can enable us to do what we cannot do in our own strength. He truly is our Helper!

So, it’s God who can help me learn the skills that go into seeing and understanding others and making other people feel special, respected, and valued. It’s God that can help me judge less and give grace more. It’s God who can help me have a humble posture of asking and inquiring of others, rather than talking at them. It’s God that can help me see great potential in other people. It’s God that can help me see the world through another’s eyes. It’s God that can help me be an Illuminator, not a Diminisher in relationships.

What does it take to humble ourselves and see that we have much to learn in this area? May God help us become people who see others in 2024 the way He sees them. 

“They say there is no such thing as an ordinary person. When you’re beholding someone, you’re seeing the richness of this particular human consciousness, the full symphony- how they perceive and create their life.” David Brooks, How to Know a Person

Take a listen: "Help is on the Way" by TobyMac: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVgetIvEIAs

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.