Honks Don't Help

I was pulling up to a light at a large intersection when I casually let a pick-up truck cut into my lane in front of me. All at once, a woman began to honk her horn behind me and didn’t let up. I looked up to see what I had done wrong. I raised my hands in the air as if questioning what I had done wrong. I was then mocked by this woman as she imitated me. I looked inquisitively in my rearview mirror as she continued to demonstrate her irritation with her young child in the passenger seat. I couldn’t wait to drive away and drive away I did. I allowed my Subaru to do its thing.  

Why did I want out? I had no clue what I did wrong. Maybe let someone cut in front of me?  I was ridiculed and mocked and yelled at within her vehicle. I’m typically conscious of what’s around me as I drive, yet I most certainly could have missed something. But did I deserve that for my obvious “transgression?”

Perhaps this driver interaction is a snapshot of what’s going on in the world around us. Who wants to be honked at with such intensity? What did I do wrong? Why are they yelling at me? I want out of here!

Tell me, do you enjoy it when others pass on these actions to you? Judgment. Condemnation. Shame. Accusation. Control. The oughts and shoulds. Division. Gossip and slander. Silent treatment. No, I am guessing a big NO. Yet, we are quick to voice our disappointment and disapproval of others as naturally as taking the next breath. It’s so easy to dish out, yet we hate it when it happens to us!

May we all be different! May we strive to be people who think the best of someone. Turn the other cheek. Think of others before ourselves. Demonstrate patience and kindness. Value others’ contributions. Encourage people from the heart. 

Michelle Medlock Adams writes “God’s love isn’t exclusive; it’s inclusive. His love doesn’t write people off because they aren’t meeting our standards.” How we treat one another matters. We have no clue how our judgmental attitude affects those we judge. Of course, you and I have judged others! Yet, there is a different way. I pray that God helps us every morning to see people through His eyes, not ours. May He help us love people unconditionally, just like Him. I sense that as we pray regularly to be people that love as God loves, He will help us be radically different. 

The lady who honked endlessly didn’t have a clue what I was dealing with that day. A very sick dog. A vet appointment. Running across town to get an inhaler that I needed that day. A young gal who had just moved in with us that day. A week that was over-the-top stressful. Yep, the driver was oblivious to all that was going on with me. When we make our judgments, do we even think to understand the effects on someone else?

I remember as a teen hearing a song that still is powerful today. “They will know we are Christians by our love, by love, yeah, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”  (Peter Scholtes) I think God is looking for men and women who have enjoyed his unconditional love in their own lives and really see clearly they’re called to extend that to others. Stop the judgments. Stop the blame. Get rid of the gossip.  Stop accusing. Stop avoiding. And love. Become a seeker of unity. Love extravagantly.

Take a listen to this old, yet powerful song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyHvO4xoEh4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Great San Antonio.