Swallow Gone Bad

 Life can change so quickly. It was less than a month ago that Ben and I took my dad to my nephew’s wedding. It was truly wonderful to see him all dressed up in his borrowed tux and bolo tie. He looked so dapper!

And here I sit watching him breathe, eyes closed, lying in a hospice bed. Realizing that his life on this earth is drawing nigh. It feels a bit surreal.

As the hospice social worker said to me, “He’s always been around every day of your life. You don’t know life without him being your dad.” Yes, that’s true.

For my dad, it was just one swallow that went bad. He ended up in the hospital for 8 days and came back to the assisted living center weaker, needing hospice care.

We, humans, have trouble talking, thinking, and dealing with death. I sense God knew that death would be hard for us. Thus, He promised throughout scripture that He would walk with us through the darkest of times, including grief and loss.

Sipping a Diet Coke and watching Dad, I’m trying so hard to stay awake. This is hard! I have to remember God’s promises. Promises that are true whether life is great or hard.

God’s presence is my comfort- He will never leave me, never! So, right here, right now, God is with me giving me the strength to be with my dad and walk him through these last days. “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them; for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

God listens and cares- You know how it feels when you’re sharing something important, and no one is listening? It stinks! That’s not our God! He always listens. He always cares. He knows exactly the pain we go through and wants to walk with us through it ALL. "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 55:22

God gives perfect peace- Even in our difficult moments of life, we can have perfect peace. How can this be? Our God can provide supernatural peace. I feel that peace right now. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

God gives guidance for the path ahead- The days ahead will not be easy. Decisions to make. Travel to plan. All the unknowns lie ahead, yet I  have a God who guides us each moment. All I need to do is ask. “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24

God uses people to bring encouragement- I'm so grateful for the hospice nurses! I am so grateful for my friend, a nurse, who came to be with me when I first saw my dad. I'm so grateful for the many who prayed and encouraged me through texts and phone calls. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Proverbs 17:17

God gives eternal life thru His Son Jesus- I’m thankful that Dad knows Jesus and we know that He will enjoy His eternal home in heaven. “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.”  1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Today, I pause and thank God for my dad. A Navy Veteran from World War II. Wyoming native. Artist. Square Dancer. Grape grower. Farmer. Hard worker. And so much more.

May God bless each one of you as you remember those who died while serving their country on this Memorial Day. May you clearly see God’s gift of life itself and the brevity of life.

Take a listen to "I Will Rise": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKRF8UihM5s

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Wembanyama Hype

It’s a new day here in San Antonio. Those of us that are NBA enthusiasts had our eyes glued to the TV the night of May 16. The NBA Draft Lottery meant something to us this year because the San Antonio Spurs had a chance for the number 1 pick, Victor Wembanyama.

They finished announcing the number 5 pick and then it went to a commercial break. What, a commercial break? More pacing and nervousness. Finally, down to the last 4. I stood watching, waiting as each card was read. Houston. Portland. Charlotte. The San Antonio Spurs secure the number one draft pick!

San Antonio went crazy. Horns honking downtown. Packed bars of patrons were screaming. I was screaming. Finally, after a tough few years, watching great Spurs being traded away and having just the young blokes, we have a new beginning. There's hope!

The Wembanyama hype is for real. When the Spurs are good, our city operates at a whole different level. Already, there is excitement for the future. Wemby hasn’t even come yet, but we’re hoping for the best.

Wemby has certainly given me a spring in my step this week. I’m beyond thrilled. But, when I really thought about it, I had to remember that with anyone, no matter how good, it’s not perfect. It may take some years to get better. Wemby may get injured. Wemby may want a trade. Those die-hard Spurs remember Kawhi Leonard becoming unhappy here, changing the trajectory of the Spurs.

We want to trust people to come through for us. Yet, David, the in Bible knew that He had to make a distinction between God and man. In Psalm 118:8-9 it says “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.” David knew what he was talking about. He had been betrayed multiple times by those close to him. He had plenty of people mess with him. But David had the ability to not get bitter and seemed to learn the reality that we all face: all sinful people will eventually fail us. But God can always be trusted.

So, even you and I aren’t trustworthy? That’s right. We will always have the potential to fail people. So, we must be able to still trust people, knowing that people can fail us. Without trust, it’s hard to have a true relationship.  Yet, when we develop a relationship with God through His Son Jesus, we embrace the truth that God will never fail us which gives us the ability to trust others. Psalm 118:6 says it so beautifully “The LORD is on my side, I will not fear. What can man do to me?” 

As much as I’m ecstatic about landing Wemby, I’m realistic. I realize that he’s a human being and not the end-all-be-all. He may change our city and our Spurs for the better. Today, I can fully celebrate Wembanyama. I also celebrate that my ultimate trust and hope are found in God alone.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JPT4u6hyb4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Honks Don't Help

I was pulling up to a light at a large intersection when I casually let a pick-up truck cut into my lane in front of me. All at once, a woman began to honk her horn behind me and didn’t let up. I looked up to see what I had done wrong. I raised my hands in the air as if questioning what I had done wrong. I was then mocked by this woman as she imitated me. I looked inquisitively in my rearview mirror as she continued to demonstrate her irritation with her young child in the passenger seat. I couldn’t wait to drive away and drive away I did. I allowed my Subaru to do its thing.  

Why did I want out? I had no clue what I did wrong. Maybe let someone cut in front of me?  I was ridiculed and mocked and yelled at within her vehicle. I’m typically conscious of what’s around me as I drive, yet I most certainly could have missed something. But did I deserve that for my obvious “transgression?”

Perhaps this driver interaction is a snapshot of what’s going on in the world around us. Who wants to be honked at with such intensity? What did I do wrong? Why are they yelling at me? I want out of here!

Tell me, do you enjoy it when others pass on these actions to you? Judgment. Condemnation. Shame. Accusation. Control. The oughts and shoulds. Division. Gossip and slander. Silent treatment. No, I am guessing a big NO. Yet, we are quick to voice our disappointment and disapproval of others as naturally as taking the next breath. It’s so easy to dish out, yet we hate it when it happens to us!

May we all be different! May we strive to be people who think the best of someone. Turn the other cheek. Think of others before ourselves. Demonstrate patience and kindness. Value others’ contributions. Encourage people from the heart. 

Michelle Medlock Adams writes “God’s love isn’t exclusive; it’s inclusive. His love doesn’t write people off because they aren’t meeting our standards.” How we treat one another matters. We have no clue how our judgmental attitude affects those we judge. Of course, you and I have judged others! Yet, there is a different way. I pray that God helps us every morning to see people through His eyes, not ours. May He help us love people unconditionally, just like Him. I sense that as we pray regularly to be people that love as God loves, He will help us be radically different. 

The lady who honked endlessly didn’t have a clue what I was dealing with that day. A very sick dog. A vet appointment. Running across town to get an inhaler that I needed that day. A young gal who had just moved in with us that day. A week that was over-the-top stressful. Yep, the driver was oblivious to all that was going on with me. When we make our judgments, do we even think to understand the effects on someone else?

I remember as a teen hearing a song that still is powerful today. “They will know we are Christians by our love, by love, yeah, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”  (Peter Scholtes) I think God is looking for men and women who have enjoyed his unconditional love in their own lives and really see clearly they’re called to extend that to others. Stop the judgments. Stop the blame. Get rid of the gossip.  Stop accusing. Stop avoiding. And love. Become a seeker of unity. Love extravagantly.

Take a listen to this old, yet powerful song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyHvO4xoEh4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Great San Antonio.

Out of Control

This past weekend, Ben and I enjoyed my nephew's wedding in Ohio. While waiting to board our plane, we got a string of calls from the doggie daycare where Chara, our doggie, was staying. Chara was stressed from the moment she arrived there, but things proceeded to go from bad to worse. The staff at the daycare encouraged us to send her to an emergency vet. We agreed and boarded the flight.

When was the last time you felt totally out of control? We did as we set on that plane. There was absolutely nothing we could do. Thankfully, with some back-and-forth texts with the vet, we have a plan for her stress colitis. 

Feeling out of control can happen when we least expect it. Turbulence on a plane. Unforeseen financial problems. Loss of a significant relationship. Medical challenge. Overwhelming work responsibilities. Feeling at a loss in the craziness of our world.

In moments where I feel powerless, I must run to God. I couldn’t do much of anything on the plane, but I went to Psalm 91 in my Bible and read through it. I wrote the prayers of my heart in my prayer journal. I lamented with Ben. In those moments, I landed on the following verse:

“He will call on me, and I will answer him: 
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.”  Psalm 91:15

I saw God’s personal nature with me. There on the plane, I found hope in God and His word. Things may not always go as we plan in life, but He can be trusted fully. And tonight, as we sit in the Houston airport, we’re glad for a diagnosis and treatment plan.

I heard a new song by Lauren Daigle (Thank God I Do) and seemed so perfect for the situation at hand.

“I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t know You
I’d probably fall off the edge
I don’t know where I’d go if You ever let go
Se keep me held in Your hands……

You’re my safe place, my hideaway
You’re my anchor, my saving grace
You’re my constant, my steadiness
You’re my shelter, my oxygen
I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t know You.
Thank God I do.

That’s all I can say right now. Thank God I do.

Take a listen to Lauren Daigle’s new song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfR6XLXRNy0

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

May Kindness

This past weekend started up with a bang. It just so happened that my husband, Ben, was at a men’s retreat in the Hill Country, with basically no cell coverage. I kept a close watch on the radar, and when things started to spice up, I went to the front door to watch the fun.

Hail was expected Friday night and the weathermen were correct. I watched as the hail came down hard on the driveway. The pelting sound of the hail hitting the windows was magnified like a loud microphone throughout our house. These kinds of nights are like a roofer’s dream.

I can’t imagine having to go outside with the hail spewing out in all sorts of directions. It would have hurt for sure.

Perhaps some of the pain we encounter in our world today is like that hail spewing out in all sorts of directions. As much as we want to be kind people and demonstrate kindness to others, we can be guilty of all sorts of spewing. Unfairly judging. Listening to and passing on gossip. Being outright mean. Speaking sharply. Complaining. Holding a grudge. Being manipulative. Sadly, we often don’t even see the hail and hurt we spew on others.

God calls us to live differently. I find that every day, I interact with people and have a choice. How am I going to treat them? Throughout one day, I wonder how many different actions I have that display kindness. How many don’t?

1 Corinthians 16:14 states “Do everything in love…” By displaying kindness, I not only show love but obey God's command to love others. My kindness is not about expecting something in return, but simply from genuine God-given love. Kindness may involve encouraging people, taking time to listen, giving money, spending time, reaching out, sending a card, praying for a person, making a hospital visit, sharing a meal, asking good questions and really listening, and forgiving with no strings attached! And that's just a start to kindness! God loves when we’re kind to each other.

When is kindness tough? When people aren’t kind to you. Every one of us has difficult people in our lives. The cool thing about kindness is that God can fill us with His love to be kind, even when we’re treated unkindly. We can’t control what others say or do, but we can control how we treat others.

Take a moment and reflect on these verses. They give you and I an understanding of what kindness is and how we can be kind with God’s help:

“Above all, love each other deeply, become love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Colossians 3:12

How do you think your life would change if God helped you live out these verses? Kindness is a choice. It is something we can “put on” each day. May this May be filled with kindness from your heart.

Take a listen: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=511922092858175

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.