Complaining

My phone was ringing as I was saddling up Daisy, my horse. I checked it and noticed a familiar area code, making me immediately stop what I was doing. My dad’s assisted living residence. The nurse was letting me know that everything was good with my dad. No emergencies. She was reporting my dad’s improvements. Improvements? 96 years old and improving! Wow!

Just two years ago, my dad broke his hip and had a tough, long recovery. Yet, in these last two years, he’s made considerable progress and doing as well as expected for 96. To hear that he might be upgraded in a key area was music to my ears. The nurse went on to tell me how Angus is one of the staff’s favorites. The nurse reported that he never complains, has a great sense of humor, and has a bit of fun with the staff.

Things are far from perfect with my dad. He’s in a wheelchair and forgets a lot of things. Yet, he’s learned to make the most of it and treat those who serve him with respect. My dad was a son of a Wyoming rancher. His mom, a suffragette, had homesteaded from Ohio to Wyoming after college to teach school. He was the oldest of 4 children. I think he really did walk (or ride a horse) several miles to school in the blowing cold snow. He is a World War II veteran, serving in the Navy in Southeast Asia and Europe, and was recently honored. Meals at the Assisted Living are called “going down to chow hall.” He eats puree food but marvels at how good the food is there! (insert my own potential complaint!) I think over the course of his life, he learned the value of making the most of what he had.

How do you and I make the most of our challenges? Nothing is perfect with us either. We may not be in a wheelchair or forgetting things, but we have circumstances in our life that are significantly challenging. We can either complain about these things or we can figure out how to make the most of things as my dad has.

Whining and complaining come naturally to most of us, whether you’re 30 or 96. When we’re disgruntled about something, we can let loose without thinking twice. Have you ever listened to yourself complain? I have. Not happy with myself when I do!

Paul in the Bible knew about this issue of complaining. Paul was encouraging the Philippians to stand strong amidst the external conflicts they were facing. It would have been easy for the Philippians to get caught up in grumbling. Paul was teaching them literally to stand strong against those struggles, one of which was complaining. Philippians 2:14 says “Do everything without complaining and arguing.”

Paul is writing this letter in prison! He had plenty of things to complain about! Paul was harassed wherever he went and had enemies hunting him down. In the book of Philippians, you can see how he focused on living free from discontentment and grumbling. He challenged others to do the same.

There are times when life seems so unfair. We didn’t expect this or that to happen. Yet, despite ___________________, (the thing that makes life hard for you) God is still good. He longs to transform our grumbly, disgruntled hearts and give us a spirit of gratitude. God helps us recognize when our negative thoughts take over and help us control them as we seek Him for help.

I’m thankful for the nurse’s call today. I was so proud of my dad! It was also a good reminder to me to look at my own life. Am I whining or complaining? I want to have a grateful, non-complaining heart, even in the hard seasons of life. 

I want to have a grateful heart, don't you? Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2goMABFPc

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Mistakes

I’ve been a Dallas Cowboys fan for as long as I can remember. Of course, I was thrilled to see the Cowboys beat the Buccaneers last week. They looked like legit Super Bowl contenders, except when the kicker, Brett Maher, was on the field.

I read the horrible statistic about his four missed field goals. Supposedly, Maher is the only player in the NFL since 1932 to miss four extra points in one game, regular-season, or playoffs. (@Toddarcher)

Twitter went crazy with memes, jokes, rants, etc. about Maher’s misses. One favorite was: “If you can kick and are currently in the stadium right now come on down to the field, we got a jersey for you.”  I really liked this quote too “I’ve had days like the Dallas kicker.” You and me both, dude.

I think if we were super honest, we would admit that we prefer to hide our mistakes. We learned at an early age that our personal mistakes can hurt us. Others may joke, ridicule, gossip, put us down, ignore or shame us. In turn, we can often beat ourselves up in our minds for our mistakes.  As a result, it’s often hard to admit we made a mistake.

As I reflect on Maher’s game, I felt so badly for him. Can you imagine the whole country talking about your kicking mistakes? Can you imagine all the thoughts that went through his mind? Can you imagine how he felt about all the jokes on social media about him? Maher had a week that none of us would want. 

As a follower of God, I’ve grown to appreciate more and more the grace of God in my life. When I understand what God says about me, it truly changes my perspective. God forgives me. God accepts me. God loves me unconditionally. God doesn’t gossip and put me down when I make a mistake. God cares about every feeling I have and longs to encourage me. I can live in the absolute freedom His grace gives.

I want to learn from my mistakes, but not be debilitated by them. I want to be open about my mistakes, not hide them. I want to gain wisdom from the mistakes that I make. Because I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, I have sensitivity for others that make mistakes too. I want to treat them like our heavenly Father treats them. 

I’ve also learned the value of prayer in my life. Prayer helps me as I seek God for wisdom, choices, and actions. As I read God’s word, I learn to trust Him with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding, which is often wrong. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Sure, I’m going to still make mistakes, but maybe fewer mistakes, with God’s help.

We all make mistakes. Seek God. Seek forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes. Receive God's grace and mercy and don’t forget to extend that to others.  

So thankful for God's forgiveness! Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Humility and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today, we observe Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I want to focus on a quality of MLK that we could emulate as well. Humility. He carried his selflessness wherever he went. Americans could not help but take note, learn from MLK and change their behavior. MLK was different. Take note of his words on humility:

“If an of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. And every now and then I wonder what I want them to say. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize- that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards- that’s not important. Tell them not to mention where I went to school. I’d like somebody to mention that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to mention that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to love somebody. I want you to say that day that I tried to be right on the war question. I want you to be able to say that day that I did try to feed the hungry. And I want you to be able to say that day that I did try in my life to clothe those who were naked. I want you to say on that day that I did try in my life to visit those who were in prison….” (A portion of what was written by Martin Luther King Junior before he was brutally murdered in 1968.)

Where are selfless leaders today? What selfless leader would inspire you toward change? Sadly, humility is seen as a weakness by some. Yet, humility is the exact opposite. It is strength…… a quality that MLK emulated.

I refer to Richard Foster’s book, Learning Humility: A Year of Searching for a Vanishing Virtue.”  He writes “I rather think that pride seems so strong because it orients all our desires and all our appetites around the self. The human self becomes the most central thing in our thinking and our living. Add to this that a key element in pride is the love of power. It contains this need to control and manage everything…and everybody.” (pages 62-63)  He goes on to write “Humility is so very appealing when we see it in another person. Conversely, when we watch someone consumed with pride it feels unnatural, deformed, and twisted. Humility is beautiful, whereas pride is ugly.”

Do you yearn to be a woman or man that walks in humility? Do you see the beauty of humility in Martin Luther King, Jr.? You know, I think we all know humility when we see it. We know pride as well. But, reflect on these words, again by Richard Foster in his book, Learning Humility:

“Today I sit and watch people going about their daily tasks. I listen to the conversations that go on. I notice their body language. Some, it seems, are working hard to impress others. Some appear timid and fearful. Some are loud and appear determined to dominate everyone else. Still, others seem to be adjusting their position relative to the group. But a distinct few seem quite different. They listen to others with genuine interest. They speak easily but not to impress, only to participate in the conversation. They have an unusual ease about themselves. Most of all they are marked by a wonderful freedom from self-absorption. These, I think, are the truly humble ones.” (Page. 65)

Who are you? Who am I? May the Lord help each of us to walk in humility.

“I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Paul, Ephesians 4:1-3

Take a listen: Only Jesus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eQd3K2Fxp4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

United in Prayer

Ben and I were watching the Spurs game last Monday night when I was alerted on Twitter to an emergency taking place at the Monday Night Football game. I immediately switched channels to hear of the horrific injury to Damar Hamlin, a Buffalo Bills player. As Ben and I realized the seriousness of the injury, we took a moment and prayed for Damar’s healing. We knew many others across the country were doing the same.

It didn’t take long to realize that nothing quite like this had happened in professional football. No one knew what to do. Playing football didn’t seem to matter. This was a matter of life and death. Thankfully, the game was suspended, while the ESPN broadcasters did their best to talk through the situation. They responded with such care and compassion.

Over and over that night we heard about the importance of thoughts and prayers. I loved when Dan Orlovsky, NFL analyst, and former player, said this “I heard the Buffalo Bills organization say that we believe in prayer. And maybe this is not the right thing to do, but it’s just on my heart and I want to pray for Damar Hamlin right now. I’m going to do it out loud, I’m going to close my eyes and bow my head, and I’m just going to pray for him.”

This was Orlovsky’s prayer: "God we come to you in these moments that we don’t understand, that is hard because we believe that You’re God, and coming to you and praying to You has an impact. We’re sad. We’re angry. We want answers, but some things are unanswerable. We just want to pray, truly come to You, and pray for strength for Damar, for healing for Damar, for comfort for Damar. Be with his family to give them peace. If we didn’t believe that prayer didn’t work, we wouldn’t ask this of you, God. I believe in prayer. We believe in prayer. We lift up Damar Hamlin’s name in your name. Amen."

I saw Orlovsky pray on national television and it drew me to tears. I have watched it since then and I still cry. I sense that Damar’s injury brought together a ton of people from all over the country and unified us around healing and prayer on Damar’s behalf. We saw every NFL team tweet out “Pray for Damar #3”. We saw the Buffalo Bills kneel in a circle on the field in prayer. We saw people just gathering and praying in the stands. It was a beautiful and perfect response.

As of this past weekend, Damar is in critical condition but continues to make progress in his recovery. He addressed his team via Facetime with the breathing tube out! I believe that God is answering our prayers and using the amazing medical staff along the way. Why should we be surprised? God is able to do anything!

Maybe it’s time to go from ‘thoughts and prayers’ to praying! Maybe, it’s time for us to realize that God invites us, encourages us, and wants us to talk to Him! Do we believe that God can do anything? (James 1:5) Do we pray with persistence, not giving up? (Luke 18:1) God longs for a relationship with us through His Son, Jesus Christ. He welcomes our prayers!

This past week, we learned that life can change in the blink of an eye. Life is a precious gift. None of us are promised tomorrow. We saw the beauty of a country united in prayer. We came together to pray for someday we didn’t even know! And God is answering our prayers. To God be the glory!

What about you? How does Damar’s crises challenge you in your relationship with God? What might it look like to believe that God can do anything? What if you took prayer seriously? How might things change?

Will you believe that God can do anything? He can. Take a listen! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTkYjd3RD6k

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Life-changing

My husband, Ben, and I always make a trek to Fredericksburg before Christmas. We just happened to pick the coldest day of the year! We bundled up and stopped first at a snug, rustic lunch spot called Rathskeller, in the basement of an old building.

After our meal, the waiter pointed out on the whiteboard the dessert specials. Hey, it’s the holiday season, so why not? I noticed the peach bread pudding and asked about it. The waiter responded with utmost enthusiasm…. “It’s life-changing!”

Bread pudding? Life changing? To be honest, it was a pretty good bread pudding. But, life-changing? We had a bit of fun joking about our life-changing bread pudding that day.

But honestly, who doesn’t like the thought of something life-changing?

We have just begun 2023. What are your hopes and dreams? How will you learn from the struggles of this last year? As you face the new year, what do you fear or dread? What do you hope for? How would you like to experience life change?

Each year, I like to take time to reflect on last year and refocus on what I’d like to see happen in my life in the coming year. It’s a time to ask and reflect on these very questions. I take time to write what I call faith goals based on my responses. These faith goals require me to take action as well as trust God to work in my life.

This time of year is a good time not to ignore all those tugs in our hearts. Often, we ignore our own hearts because we can’t possibly believe that God can help us and walk with us through what we want to change in our lives. He very much wants to help You grow!

Max Lucado writes “Hope is not what you’d expect; it is what you would never dream. It is a wild, improbable tale with a pinch-me-I’m-dreaming ending. Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no, it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable dependence on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks and be there in the flesh to see our reaction.” (God Came Near)

God longs for us to depend on Him. He wants to walk with us and help us change for the better. He longs to surprise us! He is for YOU and me! God can do more than you or I could ever ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20) Will you trust God to do in you what could not be done without Him?

Dear God, Thank You for your love for us and your desire to be in a relationship with us. Help each of us trust You for the year ahead. We ask that You help us really think about what needs to change in our lives. Humble us. Help us hear your voice. Help us establish faith goals for this next year, knowing we need your help to accomplish them. God, help us experience real life-change because of You in our lives. Amen.

I find this song such a perfect song of blessing for each one of us as we begin 2023: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R84PqRdZ7_Y

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.