Judging Others

Judging people has become a national pastime. You certainly see it on social media loud and clear. You can also feel the judgment of others, sometimes when they don’t even say one word! None of us like to be judged, but we are certainly quick to judge.

Judgments are spontaneous and often inaccurate interpretations of our environment that influence our thinking and behavior. (Exercises for Non-judgmental Thinking, Christy Matta) Judgments go further when we pass on our judgments to others, and they join in on the fun.

Now don’t judge me. But there are times when we need to make judgments and discern what’s best in a situation. I obviously get that. However, our tendency is to emotionally react to something or someone and quickly make the judgment, even in our minds.  We don’t even know when we’re doing it!

Do you realize how your judgments hurt other people? I don’t think most people realize this. God certainly doesn’t look lightly on this topic because, honestly, He is a just, merciful judge and His ways and intentions are for our good and the good of others. (Psalm 145:8-9) In the New Testament, Jesus commands in Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge, that you may not be judge.” Wow….I would say that’s something to consider.

Judging others is rooted in our own insecurity and pride. Our pride has a way of justifying our judgment because we think we know better than another person. It’s tempting not to stop there. Then, criticism, gossip, and making assumptions about others follow. Not good, folks. And here’s the kicker, we even judge ourselves!!!

Maybe we need to just start believing that a person’s intentions are good until proven differently. Some years back, for a class, I was asked to memorize a portion of scripture, Colossians 3:1-17. It truly is such a beautiful portion of scripture that depicts so well the Christian life. Hidden in this gem of scripture is a winsome beautiful way of living:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:12-13)

What would it look like if you lived this verse? You would not be judging, criticizing, or demeaning people, that’s for sure. When we take a non-judgmental stance, we’re different. We’re not engaging with all the gossip or hearsay. We’re not standoffish to those we dislike. We give up judging for what we think that person did or didn’t do umpteen years ago. You’re free to love. Free to care. The world needs more people like this.

With my own personal feelings on this topic, I find Lauren Daigle’s song, You Say, so helpful to listen to:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9cokosaXLA

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.