People are paying more and more attention to our words than ever before. People pay attention to what we say AND what we don't say. Words have power. The more negative, the more hurtful. This morning, on the way to the barn, I was waiting in a long line at a light. I heard and saw someone next to me who had obviously cut around the line of cars to edge in. Yelling and waving her hand angrily, she was demanding I let her in. A little much for seven in the morning. I was too far along to let her in, but she was NOT happy with me. What a way to start the day.
The lack of words have power too! I've seen how this is true with the phenomenon of facebook. Facebook gives us an easy quick way of blessing someone. Even one sentence. Facebook can also be used as a way to withhold blessing someone. OK, how often have you withheld a "like" because you really have a judgment against that person? Instead of blessing, we can use it as a tool to withhold a blessing. Say it aint' so. We do the same thing in day to day life with each other.
Mother Teresa once said "Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless." How true! Your words, whether they are helpful and encouraging or hurtful and judgmental can reverberate through people's lives for a long time. It takes so little time to bless people these days. You can send a facebook note, text, email or phone call. Do you realize how our small gesture can make a huge difference in someone's day?
Every day, people can receive criticism, discouraging words and negative feedback. Every day, we ourselves can dole out a ton of personal criticism even on ourselves. We can live in our own shame and guilt. We can become so engaged in our own stuff, we forget about those around us. When was the last time you told someone "You are important to me! You are loved by God. I'm so grateful for you and your impact on my life."
This week, as kids go back to school and fall returns, wouldn't it be a great time to start your week with blessing others? If you have kids, start with your kids. Your family. Your friends. Facebook. Work associates. The barista. The waiter. And the list goes on. Be a blessing. Give a blessing.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Monday, August 25, 2014
The Tears of a Clown
Now, if there's a smile on my face. It's only there trying to fool the public. but when it comes down to fooling you. Now, honey, that's quite a different subject. But don't let my glad expression. Give you the wrong impression. Really, I'm sad, oh sadder than sad. You're gone and I'm hurting so bad. Like a clown I pretend to be glad. Now, there's some sad things known to man. But ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around. O yeah baby, now if I appear to be carefree, it's only to camouflage my sadness. In order to shield my pride I try to cover this hurt with a show of gladness........ Smokey Robinson, The Tears of a Clown
Whether it's social media, TV or just people talking at work, we've all been shocked by the death of beloved Robin Williams. We loved him. He made us laugh. So full of life. So full of wit. He was a part of our home, entertaining us for years. It's hard to believe he's gone. We are grateful for what he brought to our world and very sad that he's left this world way too soon. We read the tributes and feel a sense of personal grief for a man we didn't know.
When I was growing up, I had no idea what the song "Tears of a Clown" was all about. I just thought it was a fun song. But, not really. It's about deep sadness. The need to fool the public. Camouflage sadness. Shield pride. Cover the hurts. I wonder if Robin Williams could identify with this song. Maybe you and I can too.
How does Robin William's death affect you? How can his life and death inspire you to be a better you? First, I think it's a call to extend compassion to those in our midst. We miss people day in and day out who are hiding their sadness. We can be so consumed with our work, our phones, our lives...that we miss someone next to us that needs a huge dose of encouragement. I remember during some of the darker times of my life, I just longed for someone to ask...How are you really doing? So, often, we fail to ask. We don't have time for the answer. People need compassion everywhere. A smile. An encouragement. A prayer.
Secondly, take a hard look at yourself. Sadly, we are often so busy that we allow our own personal needs to go by the wayside. We can crash out of sheer exhaustion. When we continue to lay our own personal and emotional health aside, we suffer. There is hard stuff in this world! If you are hurting, seek help. A counselor. A support group. A friend to help you bear your burden. Don't hide. Don't think it'll just go away all by itself. Deal with it.
Finally, press in to God. If we live long enough, we will all have our moments where we question life. Circumstances that go south. Tragedy. Pain beyond what we can bear. Some blame God on these things. That only makes things worse. There is peace found when we press into God, not turn away from Him. He can help us through the most difficult of times...if only we let Him.
"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human." Henri Nouwen- Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Whether it's social media, TV or just people talking at work, we've all been shocked by the death of beloved Robin Williams. We loved him. He made us laugh. So full of life. So full of wit. He was a part of our home, entertaining us for years. It's hard to believe he's gone. We are grateful for what he brought to our world and very sad that he's left this world way too soon. We read the tributes and feel a sense of personal grief for a man we didn't know.
When I was growing up, I had no idea what the song "Tears of a Clown" was all about. I just thought it was a fun song. But, not really. It's about deep sadness. The need to fool the public. Camouflage sadness. Shield pride. Cover the hurts. I wonder if Robin Williams could identify with this song. Maybe you and I can too.
How does Robin William's death affect you? How can his life and death inspire you to be a better you? First, I think it's a call to extend compassion to those in our midst. We miss people day in and day out who are hiding their sadness. We can be so consumed with our work, our phones, our lives...that we miss someone next to us that needs a huge dose of encouragement. I remember during some of the darker times of my life, I just longed for someone to ask...How are you really doing? So, often, we fail to ask. We don't have time for the answer. People need compassion everywhere. A smile. An encouragement. A prayer.
Secondly, take a hard look at yourself. Sadly, we are often so busy that we allow our own personal needs to go by the wayside. We can crash out of sheer exhaustion. When we continue to lay our own personal and emotional health aside, we suffer. There is hard stuff in this world! If you are hurting, seek help. A counselor. A support group. A friend to help you bear your burden. Don't hide. Don't think it'll just go away all by itself. Deal with it.
Finally, press in to God. If we live long enough, we will all have our moments where we question life. Circumstances that go south. Tragedy. Pain beyond what we can bear. Some blame God on these things. That only makes things worse. There is peace found when we press into God, not turn away from Him. He can help us through the most difficult of times...if only we let Him.
"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human." Henri Nouwen- Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Good Dog; Bad Dog!
Our new little pup, Zoe, is a canine version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This old film tells the story of Dr. Henry Jekyll, a kind English doctor in London who is certain that within each man lurks impulses for both good and evil. One minute, Zoe can be wrapped up in my arms, coddling and cooing like the sweetest puppy on the earth. The next minute, she sounds like a roaring lion, ready to trounce on anyone trying to get her latest toy. The back and forth nature of our puppy's personality is pretty comical.
A few days ago, during one of Zoe's finer moments, I had to wonder if she could actually read. She's pretty smart, but not that smart. I was working away at my desk when all at once I looked down to see her eating a book. She's tried to eat a variety of non-edible items, but this is the first book. The name of the book was "How to Raise the Perfect Dog" by Cesar Millan. She took a good chunk out of the cover. Yum. Not sure if she was trying to tell me something, but it definitely made for a good laugh.
At times, Zoe is a very good dog. She is doing well in puppy training and super smart at picking up new tricks. She is just a blast to have. At times, Zoe is a bad dog. She still bites. Growls like a lion. Gets under your feet. Forgets to go outside to do her business. You get the idea.
Zoe's actions are no different than our own human nature. We can look great to the outside world, have a stellar performance at work and yet come home and get in a fight with our spouse. Even with the greatest of intentions, our normal sinful nature pops out when least expected. We can stretch the truth. Get mad on the freeway. Gossip. Judge. Hurt others. Goof up big time at work. We're human.
Guess what? We're ALL broken people. I am. You are. And we can't cover it up, as hard as we try. We are all sinful people. All of us. Our help to change comes from God who sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus too came to us broken, bruised and bleeding. He has answers for our hurts. He wants to heal the broken places of your heart. There is nothing you've done or experienced that Jesus can't sympathize with you. He understands. He is there for you. As much as we want to run to people for answers, people will not always have the ability to be there for you all the time.
People can give great advice, help and encouragement. But, God knows us better than we know ourselves. He has answers for our problems. Aren't you glad you don't have to be perfect? As you start this day, draw near to the One who knows and loves the real you.
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
A few days ago, during one of Zoe's finer moments, I had to wonder if she could actually read. She's pretty smart, but not that smart. I was working away at my desk when all at once I looked down to see her eating a book. She's tried to eat a variety of non-edible items, but this is the first book. The name of the book was "How to Raise the Perfect Dog" by Cesar Millan. She took a good chunk out of the cover. Yum. Not sure if she was trying to tell me something, but it definitely made for a good laugh.
At times, Zoe is a very good dog. She is doing well in puppy training and super smart at picking up new tricks. She is just a blast to have. At times, Zoe is a bad dog. She still bites. Growls like a lion. Gets under your feet. Forgets to go outside to do her business. You get the idea.
Zoe's actions are no different than our own human nature. We can look great to the outside world, have a stellar performance at work and yet come home and get in a fight with our spouse. Even with the greatest of intentions, our normal sinful nature pops out when least expected. We can stretch the truth. Get mad on the freeway. Gossip. Judge. Hurt others. Goof up big time at work. We're human.
Guess what? We're ALL broken people. I am. You are. And we can't cover it up, as hard as we try. We are all sinful people. All of us. Our help to change comes from God who sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus too came to us broken, bruised and bleeding. He has answers for our hurts. He wants to heal the broken places of your heart. There is nothing you've done or experienced that Jesus can't sympathize with you. He understands. He is there for you. As much as we want to run to people for answers, people will not always have the ability to be there for you all the time.
People can give great advice, help and encouragement. But, God knows us better than we know ourselves. He has answers for our problems. Aren't you glad you don't have to be perfect? As you start this day, draw near to the One who knows and loves the real you.
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Hello, My Name Is Regret...
Regrets. Lots of people tell us to 'live your life with no regrets.' Somehow, in our culture today, it's not cool to have regrets. People prefer to treat these mistakes in life or unpleasant things that have happened to them as part of 'what made them who they are today.' Since when did having regrets become a negative thing?
I looked up on line a definition of the word 'regret'.....to feel sad or sorry about something that you did or did not do. To have regrets about something. Somehow, the definition doesn't fit how people treat regrets today.
Regret hit me square in the face today. I was looking for a document on the computer and came upon a letter that I had written years ago. It really tore me up to read it. It occurred to me that if I had written that same letter today, it would have been so different because I'm different. Yes, I regretted writing it.
If we can't acknowledge our regret, how can we truly feel sorry for our sins? It's not easy to go to God and say "I blew it." It's not easy to go to your wife, husband or friend and say "I made a mistake; please forgive me." It's humbling. We avoid these kind of interactions like the plague. In our avoidance, we miss out on the beauty of forgiveness and God's healing power.
Matthew West wrote a song that starts off just how I felt when I opened that old letter.... "Hello, my name is regret. I'm pretty sure we have met. Every single day of your life, I'm the whisper inside that won't let you forget. Hello, my name is defeat. I know you recognize me. Just when you think you can win, I'll drag you right back down again, until you've lost all belief. Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies. And I have believed them for the very last time"
Here is the way I'm learning to deal with my regrets. Matthew West's song goes on.... "Hello, my name is child of the one true King. I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free. "Amazing Grace" is the song I sing. Hello, my name is child of the one true king. I am no longer defined by all the wreckage behind. The one who makes all things new, has proven it's true. Just take a look at my life." So, do you have regrets today? Join the human race. But, realize that God can make all things new. It's true. Grace is amazing.
I looked up on line a definition of the word 'regret'.....to feel sad or sorry about something that you did or did not do. To have regrets about something. Somehow, the definition doesn't fit how people treat regrets today.
Regret hit me square in the face today. I was looking for a document on the computer and came upon a letter that I had written years ago. It really tore me up to read it. It occurred to me that if I had written that same letter today, it would have been so different because I'm different. Yes, I regretted writing it.
If we can't acknowledge our regret, how can we truly feel sorry for our sins? It's not easy to go to God and say "I blew it." It's not easy to go to your wife, husband or friend and say "I made a mistake; please forgive me." It's humbling. We avoid these kind of interactions like the plague. In our avoidance, we miss out on the beauty of forgiveness and God's healing power.
Matthew West wrote a song that starts off just how I felt when I opened that old letter.... "Hello, my name is regret. I'm pretty sure we have met. Every single day of your life, I'm the whisper inside that won't let you forget. Hello, my name is defeat. I know you recognize me. Just when you think you can win, I'll drag you right back down again, until you've lost all belief. Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies. And I have believed them for the very last time"
Here is the way I'm learning to deal with my regrets. Matthew West's song goes on.... "Hello, my name is child of the one true King. I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free. "Amazing Grace" is the song I sing. Hello, my name is child of the one true king. I am no longer defined by all the wreckage behind. The one who makes all things new, has proven it's true. Just take a look at my life." So, do you have regrets today? Join the human race. But, realize that God can make all things new. It's true. Grace is amazing.
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