Memorial Day Musings

My brother and I reached that moment in time that most of us never want to face: Going through our parents’ possessions. There were a lot of light-hearted moments, especially when Ben, my husband, cranked up the old slide projector, complete with slides from our childhood. Who doesn't need to see an old slide show?

One thing that made me smile is finding my dad’s two white sailor hats. One had first names written all around the hat. I assume these were my dad’s fellow mates in the platoon, serving together over time. There were all sorts of other navy memorabilia, each item having a hidden story from years gone by.

I regret that over time I failed to ask my dad more about his days in the navy. I’ve heard many stories, for sure. Why didn’t I inquire more? I guess I was alot like other kids, where the focus was on the kids, not the parents. I’m thankful my dad’s still around and can still share some of those stories!

This Memorial Day, here’s an invitation to remember and honor all who have served and sacrificed for our freedom. Take time to inquire, ask, engage in other’s lives and learn about their history: What do you remember most about those years? How was it difficult? What did you learn? What did it teach you about life? What advice can you pass on to me?  Be sure to share your gratitude for their service.

So, my message is simple today. Get outside of yourself. Spend some time with people who have been around a whole lot longer than you. Honor them well. Here are a some verses to ponder and reflect upon this Memorial Day:

“This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13

“Render to all what is due them; tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.” Romans 13:7

“We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers; constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his godly ones.” Psalm 116:14-15

“Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.” Philippians 2:3-4 (The Passion Translation)

This Memorial Day, remember the fallen and honor their sacrifice. Thank those who are with us and have served our country. Reflect on your own mortality and utter dependence on God. Let’s get outside ourselves and learn from others who’ve gone before us.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Fear of Snakes

Today, one of the barn staff let me know he had just seen a rattlesnake crawl away from him toward the arena where I was riding. I promptly became very alert to my surroundings. All was well and there was no snake sighting. Insert relieved face emoji. 

I instantly recalled one of my dad’s rattlesnake stories from when he was a young guy. My dad grew up on a ranch in Wyoming, so he had plenty of snake stories! He had shimmied into a cave to check it out. As he was on his way out, he realized he had somehow missed the rattlesnake curled up snoozing right next to the opening of the cave. I would always ask: “What did you do, Daddy?” In specific detail (at almost 95 years old) he would tell how he quietly inched around the snoozing snake and made his way out into the sunlight. This. Still. Freaks. Me. Out.

Whether it’s a fear of a snake, a fear of the future or crippling thoughts that paralyze us, we don’t have to live in fear. Honestly, I find such comfort in this verse related to fear “Perfect love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18) This verse isn’t about our love for God, but about God’s love for us. His love for us is perfect. As a result, we don’t have to live in fear, because we are confident that God loves us perfectly. He is the One who knows the answer to our every fear and will come alongside us and fight for us.

Just this morning, (yes, the very same morning I was told there was a snake) I freaked out in fear. Where was my husband? I couldn’t get a hold of him. I called and called. Why the panic? Because, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about my husband’s past accident and my neighbor’s recent accident. And fear gripped me. Everything was just fine, but why did fear take over my mind so quickly?

God is teaching me to fear less and trust Him more. It’s in these these moments that I can turn to mind over to God who will calm me in the midst of my fear and anxiousness. The problem is that we try to handle our fears ourselves and it becomes a trainwreck. When I place my focus on the fear, the fears only grow. As I do this, God becomes small. Here’s the kicker: I can choose to NOT fear.  You can too. Will you and I trust God with our fears?

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; don’t be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

 Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio. 

Praying Like Crazy

Waiting drives me crazy. I’m the type of person that tries to cram a bit more into my day than I should. My husband calls it a ‘Nancy schedule.” When I have to stop, slow down and wait, I can get a bit cranky. I’m learning to wait and more importantly to wait on God.

I’ve learned a few things in my many years on this planet. Waiting on God is not always easy. Let’s take the discipline of prayer. If we all believed that God answered prayer, we would be praying like crazy! Nothing would stop us. Yet, we fail to understand that God DOES answer prayer. He may say “no”, “wait,” or “yes” to our prayers. It’s those “no’s” and “wait’s” that we have trouble with.

Prayer is really about a relationship with God. It’s recognizing that He is God and we are not God. Prayer becomes an opportunity to join with Him in His plan and purpose for our lives. Case in point, I prayed for approximately 30 years for God to provide a husband and children. God answered my prayer at just the right time for my husband, but He said “no” to my prayer for children. Why? I don’t know. But, what I do know is that God has given me great joy in encouraging and praying for other moms and their kids. When I accept His perfect plan for me, there is so much peace, joy and contentment!

I can honestly say that there was STILL pain in God’s answer! There were times I didn’t understand what God was doing. I would question God and his plan for my life. The waiting seemed even harder when those around me enjoyed affirmative answers to their prayers in the area that I didn’t. Yes, waiting can be excruciating.

Even today, there are certain matters I pray about day after day, year after year. I’m asking God to do what only He can do. At times, I still get frustrated in the waiting, well, because, you know, I want things to happen NOW. But it’s in those times of persevering prayer, I get closer to God, trust in His plan and realize He knows best. Prayer is not going to God to get what I want. Prayer is aligning my will with the One who knows me most and loves me best.  

Colossians 4:2 says “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” I want this kind of steadfastness in prayer, ya’ll, because I know that God would be pleased by that. I want to be watchful, expectant and waiting on Him to do what only He can do. Finally, I want to be thankful. I want to be so in love with Jesus that I would long for Him even more than getting my prayers answered, knowing He has His very best for me.

If you believe that God answers prayer, what keeps you from praying like crazy?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Day by Day

Life can change so quickly. I had had a quiet Sunday morning, running to Lowes for flowers and then off to ride Daisy. I didn’t have my phone on me for a while, but at some point, I picked it up. There was a text from my dear friend. “I just got off the phone with your neighbor’s mom. Your neighbor, Lisa, had been run over by a car while running. She died. Hit and run.”

I read it several times. I just couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know Lisa well, but I saw her every day. So did most of us in the neighborhood. She ran morning, noon and night. In one brief moment, one precious life was snuffed out by a hit and run driver.

We live in such a volatile world. We’ve seen life taken from COVID, shootings and tragedies like Lisa’s way too much this past year. Rest assured, we don’t know what each day holds. But, how do we live with peace and hope, even when bad things happen?

I was drawn this week to the writings of a Swedish woman named Karolina Sandell. She had written over 650 hymns which influenced many Scandinavian countries during the latter half of the nineteenth century. At the young age of 26, Karolina was traveling with her father on a ship to Gothenburg, Sweden. The ship had a sudden lurch, and Karolina’s father, a Lutheran minister, fell overboard and drowned before her eyes! Karolina was brokenhearted and desired to trust God with her broken heart. In 1865, she wrote this hymn:

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear,
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best-
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As the days, they strength shall be in measure.”
This the pledge to me He made.

As I look at this familiar hymn, I see a woman, that despite the tragedy of her father’s loss, she trusted God immensely! She knew the promises of God as they were sprinkled throughout this hymn! She was going to worship God in spite of her pain. Day by day, God would meet her every need. Day by day, God will do the same for you. Will you trust Him?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

A Fable About Flowers

 All the spring flowers at Lowes were on edge. A couple, named the Abbotts, had just come in and were scouting out spring flowers for their yard. The Lowes’ flowers had heard rumors about flowers that ended up at the Abbott’ home. Most flowers wouldn’t make it through the summer. 

Rumor has it that the Abbotts don’t always remember to water their flowers. All the flowers at Lowes knew that meant their life would be cut short. They were Texas' flowers and needed gentle, loving care amidst the Texas heat.

Everyone ducked as the Abbott’s made their way around the flowers at Lowes. When the Abbotts finally snatched up their pristine flowers, the other flowers let out a sigh of relief. “We’ve been saved!” they said. They were so grateful to stay under the nice sprinklers and live in such a loving and attentive home at Lowes.

I have great intentions of watering my flowers at the beginning of the summer. In fact, it should be easy for me to remember. I walk past my flowers every time I leave the house. But, as time goes on, I forget. Sure, I have excuses. I get busy. I don’t pay attention. I put it off.

It’s a lot like our relationships. Let’s start with God. Sure, you know about God and at times you may feel really close with God. Do you remember that point in time where your relationship with God took off? It began to grow and you planted your life with God, much like the flowers in my pot. You were good with God. But things happened. Sometimes, bad things. God didn't come through for you. You got busy. Distracted. 

Aren’t those things that are pervasive, always there, the things that get neglected the most?

Think about your relationships with your family. As we go in and out the door every day, do you make it a priority to water those relationships with love? Loving our family members every day isn’t easy. Busyness, irritations, disagreements and laziness can contribute to relationship challenges.

What about the people you interact with at work? Do you water and nurture those relationships? We can be so focused on a work project, our own stress or deadline, that we forget to cultivate our work relationships.  

God never leaves. He always wants to fill our thirst. Likewise, we can proactively nurture and tend to our other relationships. 

For he will be like a tree planted by the water and will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.” Jeremiah 17:8

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

What Would I Tell My Younger Self

On my walk this morning, I was reflecting a bit on my life. I guess that’s what you do when you think about another approaching birthday. I had to chuckle at how I seemed to know so much when I was younger! God has done some deep and lasting work in the ups and downs of my life. What would I tell my younger self?

Be content. It’s so easy to wish away our lives on the things we hope will happen. When single, I spent a lot of time wishing I was married and had kids. It was tough waiting while others received what I wanted. God taught me the value in waiting as He transformed my character in so many ways! Paul in Philippians 4:12 said he learned the secret of being content in every situation. I think contentment in this life is a battle, but a daily opportunity to rest in Christ and trust Him for our lives. 

Be your true self. We can forge forward in this world trying to be someone we’re not. Ask God to help you be your true self. It’s not always easy, but God can help you thrive in being fully you!

Don’t run from pain. We try to avoid pain at all costs, but eventually pain will come. It’s what you do with that pain that matters. Take it to Jesus. Tell Him how you feel. Walk with Him through your trial. Have a trusted group of friends that you can share with. Don’t go it alone. Here’s a good practice during trials “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

God doesn’t make mistakes. I had a bit of a hard start to life being in an orphanage, before being adopted. Yet, over the years God has sealed in my heart that He was constantly with me back then and EVERY moment of my life. He had a specific plan for my life even despite it appearing to be a ‘mistake.’ “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:13-14)

Get your approval from God. It doesn’t take long in life to realize that not everyone will like you. Why do we want everyone to like us? How realistic is this? How has seeking the approval of others hindered you from being who God has called you to be? I have a simple aim in life to love God and love people. Some may not like me and that’s OK. I want God’s approval most. “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galations 1:10)

Do what you were created for. It’s easy to get stuck in a job or a way of life, simply because it’s safe. The alternative of doing something different is too big and audaciously scary for you. Do it! Get out of your comfort zone! I love doing what I was created to do!

Be curious. Try new things. Ask questions. Learn from others. Listen more than talk. I always want to be a learner. Currently, I’m studying Spanish online and it’s great. I’m reading books that are out my normal genre. I’m learning from people different than me.

Mind your mind. We can so easily get stuck in ruminating on how others have hurt you or how things came down wrong in your life. Choose to forgive. It will get you out of your own prison! Notice what you think about and ask God to help you mind your mind. Feel your feelings but be able to move on. God will help you in this.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio. 

Doomscrolling

Chances are you’ve heard of this new word, doomscrolling. You've actually probably found yourself doing it. Doomscrolling is the act of continuously scrolling through social media or surfing the web and taking in a constant torrent of bad news. It’s gotten way more attention during the pandemic as there was plenty of bad news to go around!

For many, doomscrolling has become a mindless habit. It can be so mindless that you might find yourself picking up your phone and start scrolling without even being aware of it. Doomscrolling can reinforce negative thoughts and a negative mindset, something that can greatly impact your mental health. Whether it’s reading about another shooting, political strife, racial tension, or just mindless twitter feed, our minds can take a beating to this constant negativity. We can become angry, pathetic, hopeless, discouraged or even depressed by taking in the bad news of the day.

I find myself scrolling instead to Psalm 73 in the Bible. Psalm 73 actually gives help to the doomscrolling habit. If you’ve ever wondered how something could happen to you or your family that seemed so unfair and so wrong, this is the Psalm for you. How could a good God allow all this bad stuff to happen? The writer of the Psalm, Asaph, was acknowledging that God was good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. (Psalm 73:1) But, Asaph was in trouble. Crazy bad trouble. His feet almost slipped. He lost his grip. He was ready to walk away. He, quite frankly, was ready to throw in the towel.

So much BAD had happened! Asaph saw how other not-so-good people were being treated and he was envious! Suddenly, Asaph started paying attention to these people and it led him down a bad path. It was like he was doomscrolling over and over what the important people of his day had, (their bodies, their health, their possessions, the company they kept, etc) and his conclusion? What a rip-off!!! God, it’s not fair!

I find the Psalmist one I can relate to. He’s brutally honest about his feelings, his struggles with God and his envy. But, finally, after he’s poured his heart out to God, he did something hugely important in Psalm 73:16-17 “When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.” 

At that point, everything changed in what Asaph said. He brought his confusion to God. He worshipped God and got God’s infinite perspective, not his own human one. He saw himself and how envy had affected Him. He saw His God clearly and gained an eternal perspective. Asaph prayed so beautifully in these verses “Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:23-26)

Doomscrolling can take us down a dismal path of gloom and doom. When we go to God and get His perspective, things change.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.