Where Did I Lose My Patience?

It was my third time back to the car dealer to fix a recall on my relatively new car. Each time I went, I was hopeful that THIS time it would be fixed. Third time’s a charm, right?

With high hopes, I dropped off my key fab and watched the young man drive my car back to the service area. He looked pretty anxious; it had to be his first day on the job! It wasn’t about 30 minutes later that I find out that he had driven my car into something in the service area. Now, I’m in a rental while they fix the damage to my car.  

How we handle these type of things are super important. I was so tempted to get angry and frustrated and let them know a thing or two.  Thankfully, I was calm, while sharing my frustration, but understanding the young man just had an accident.  I’m not happy about this ongoing car saga, but I do think a side benefit is a lesson in patience. I think God wants me to teach me some patience.

Why patience? Because I struggle with patience. I can get easily irritated at slow drivers. Bad service. Replying all. People who have more that 15 items at express checkout. Using both armrests on a plane.  Just goofy things, but that’s my list.

Why is God so patient with me time after time when I mess up? Well, it’s because God IS patience. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 it states “Love is patient, love is kind.”  God is also love (1 John 4:16) He doesn’t lose patience because He is love!

How do we demonstrate God’s love with others? By showing patience when the car dealer rams your car into something while trying to fix something else. By letting the busy patron go ahead of you at HEB.  By refraining from honking your horn when someone deserves a good ole’ horn honk. By showing grace, patience and kindness even when you get so irritated with a grumpy member.

When we’re patient in an impatient world, we embody God’s character and love. It’s rare, isn’t it?

I’m so thankful today that God is patient with me. He puts up with my foibles and flaws and loves me with unconditional love. When I respond to situations and people with patience, I’m just giving away God’s love. Who doesn’t need God’s love?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

When We Don't Know the Whole Story

I’m so relieved the NBA Finals are finally over. It caused a bit of marital tension in our home that I didn’t expect. Ben, my husband, was rooting for the Toronto Raptors because two of our former Spurs’ players, Danny Green and Kawhi Leonard, are Raptors now. Ben couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to cheer for them. To me, it was obvious. I still had some leftover feelings about the trade that went down last year. I just couldn’t!

It’s hard to forget the drama that ensued with Kawhi’s injury over the course of last year. Of course, there are many who think the Spurs organization made mistakes in how they handled the situation. All I know is that there were hard feelings all around and a whole lot of gossip about what people thought happened.

When we don’t know the whole story, we can be so quick to judge. We decide to fill in the story line with the narrative we prefer. We may think we understand, but often times, we don’t. As much as I love the Spurs, I really don’t know what happened. So, how can I judge one way or another?

Do you judge a person prematurely, not knowing the whole story? I didn’t see my Kawhi-judgment in full light until I saw the actions of my husband. He let it go. He wanted the best for Kawhi. He saw through the mess and saw him for the great player he was. Ben said to me “I don’t know what happened, but what I do know is that Coach Pop hugged him at the end of the Raptor-Spurs game. No matter what happened, it tells me he’s still worth hugging.”

God loves when we see the best in others! God asks us to be free of judgment and look for the good in others. Do you have someone you judge that you’re unwilling to hug and make things right? Go ahead. Initiate. Give them a hug…..and let it go. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

“Jesus, free us from defensiveness that sabotages our repentance, excuse-making that keeps us strangers to your grace, and blaming others when we should be humbling ourselves.” @ScottyWardSmith

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:!-2

“If we are going to love one another more, we will have to love ourselves less, protect our interests less, demand a hearing less, worry about how we look less. Our sense of urgency will flip upside down, as we get busy looking out for one another.”  @Rayortland

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Stuck in the Mud

I watched closely as the ominous dark clouds formed at the ranch. Finally, I thought it best to leave. I drove home, every so often checking the skies behind me. Finally, the sky began to fall. Cats and dogs and more cats and dogs. I made it home just in the nick of time.

The next day, I made a trip out to the ranch to check on Daisy, my horse. I was met with downed limbs, no power and a ton of mud. The further I traipsed toward her, the heavier my boots got. There’s not much you can do when you’re stuck in the mud.

Thankfully, my boots are now sitting on the porch in 95-degree weather drying out. Soon, they will be back to normal usage, as will the ranch.

Sooner or later, we all can experience getting stuck in the mud...

• Manuevering through a relational challenge.
• Getting finances back on track.
• Stuck in something that's not your best.
• Making the same mistake over and over.

I’m thankful I realized how inept I am at getting unstuck many years ago. Oh, yes, there are things I must do; but I can also ask God for help. God longs for us to come to Him in good times and bad. He loves when we turn to Him for help out of a sticky situation!

Psalm 40:1-2 says “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”  Do you need a firm place to stand today?

I can honestly tell you, I’ve been in enough predicaments in my life that felt like thick mud and mire. I could make some good attempts to get out of them, but it was when I called upon God that things changed. He hears my cries. He is the only One able to lift me out of that slimy pit.

Summer is here. Where are you stuck?  What needs to happen to get unstuck? Invite God into your messes. He’s been known to make you lighter and freer than you ever thought possible.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Even this...

I met her once. I thanked her for the gift of life and told her if I never see her again, I will always love her and be grateful for her. I never saw her again. My birth mom died this week. She spent time in show business as a professional roller skater performing acrobatic routines. She toured with the military troops and was on the Ed Sullivan and Steve Allen shows. Perhaps my love for dance came from this one. My heart is broken and I’m sad for what could have been, but grateful for this courageous woman who gave me life.

Sooner or later, things happen in our life that can crush us. Losing Dolly has crushed me. I always hoped, always dream, always prayed that she would reach out to me and want to know me. But, she didn’t. My dream will never be reality.

It didn’t take long through my tears to return to the scripture I had just read the morning I received this news, Psalm 139: 13-14. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  It was as if God was preparing me for the news I was about to receive!

I was reminded that God was the one that created me and He had good intentions for my life. I was not a mistake! He thinks about me all the time.  He knows everything about me and still loves me! Even before I speak, He knows what I’m going to say. My pain has brought me back to the overwhelming presence of God in my life since the day I was born. He had a plan and it was good.

I guess at some point in our life, we will ALL feel rejected, betrayed, hurt or misunderstood by someone. People hurts can be so brutal. What do you do?

Today, I run to Psalm 139. I run to God. I run to my husband and dear friends. Loss is never easy. But, thankfully, God will see me through, even this.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio. 

Who Did Jesus Hang With?

Years ago, I had the privilege of traveling to Kazakhstan to participate in teaching at Kazakh University in Almaty, Kazakhstan. I didn’t know much about the country, but became fascinated with the culture and the people upon arrival. My task was to teach public speaking to a group of students at the University.

Our two cultures were quite diverse, but I found one commonality. We all had a fear of public speaking. The Kazak students were no different than Americans! As they broke through their nervousness with speaking extemporaneously, the students actually began to enjoy the experience!

Every day, we have opportunities to engage with people that are different than us. Whether they are different in ability, age, cultural background, ethnicity, faith, gender, gender identity, ideology, income, national origin, race or sexual orientation- we can learn to love and work side by side all people.

Sadly, this isn’t always the case with those of us called humans. We’re quick to judge, hold grudges, and even determine ahead of time what we think about someone. We who think we don’t do this…do.  

I’m on a journey to learn how I can better love, serve and care for those different from me. I wonder if you are too? Tell me, isn’t it easy to judge the person that you prefer to avoid or just don’t connect with? Is it possible that you're not even aware of your own tendencies in this area? So, let’s admit it. You and I could use a lesson in inclusivity.

My champion in this endeavor is Jesus Christ. I can only look through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and note who Jesus kept company with. Jesus hung out with a woman at the well, a prostitute, the outcasts and unclean, a paralytic, the blind, the tax collectors, the crippled, the disease-ridden, the good Samaritan, etc.  He even surrounded himself with a rag tag group of twelve sinners, he called “disciples.” Did He care about diversity? You bet He did. He modeled how to do it!

Loving like Christ didn’t come easy! There was a cost. He was even judged and looked down upon by the people He hung out with. In fact, He actually knew what it felt like to be an outcast. He was certainly treated that way by many. Yet people were drawn to Him by his love.

Ray Ortlund writes “As the crazy, angry intensity of our times bears down on us more and more fiercely, our Lord is, in fact, giving us a historic opportunity- to love one another, stand by one another, pay a price for one another. I feel expectant, privileged, solemnized, grateful.” Wow. Do you see the potential before us? Are you willing to lay down your judgy-spirit (which I sadly see way too much of in my tribe called fellow Christians) and be a part of the change? Let’s not squander this opportunity.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio

Older and Wiser?

I turned a year older this past week. I love birthdays, no matter how old I am! I’ve been thinking and praying a lot lately about how I can have the most possible influence in this season of life.

Most people think that as you get older, you get wiser. You certainly have more real life experience the longer you live. However, I don’t think I realized how much I needed God’s wisdom when I was younger. I relied way too much on what I thought was best at the time.

I’ve been studying the character Solomon in the Bible this past year. In 1 Kings 4:29-30 it says “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the people of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt. He was wiser than anyone else….”

You know what I marvel at? That God gave Solomon a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Have you ever considered the sand on the seashore? It’s endless! In the great years of Solomon’s kingdom, he used the enormous wisdom that God gave him. But, sadly, he didn’t always use God’s wisdom and fell away from God.

What do you need God’s wisdom for today?

• Wisdom about a project at work?
• Wisdom for a relationship decision?
• Wisdom for a decision?
• Wisdom for your finances?
• Wisdom about medical treatment?
• Wisdom about your future?

I never realized in life what I didn’t know at the time. But, often I didn’t know and understand things because I didn’t ask for God’s wisdom. Think how your life could change if you truly believe God could give you wisdom and very great insight as measureless as the sand on the seashore? Wouldn’t He know more about you than you?

What if you really stopped leaning on your own understanding and trusting the Lord? How would your life change?  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Face-To-Face

If you’re the average American, you probably spend an average of 49 days a year on your phone. In addition, you probably unlock your phone an average of 80 times a day.

ABC News’ Diane Sawyer spent six months traveling around the country talking to families, teachers, doctors and even tech insiders on how screen time is affecting us and what we can do about it. During Sawyer’s special, they gave a #ScreenTime Challenge, a challenge to check how much time you spend on your phone and then reflecting on your habits.

So, when was the last time you checked how much time you spent on your phone? Are you surprised at which apps you’re using the most? How might you use one hour of your time differently? Have you ever come to this conclusion? I spend too much time on my phone.

So many of us would quickly say we’re super busy most of the time. But, when it all comes down to what we’re doing in our busyness, we might not want to totally admit our screen time.

I can find it easier to pick up my phone than stop and practice the presence of God. A phone is tangible and something I can physically touch. I can quickly connect with all sorts of things. But God???? God is not seen. I can’t physically touch Him. But I can relate to God. I can practice His presence.

2 Corinthians 4:18 states “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” When we invite God into our space, we practice keeping company with Him. He becomes our preoccupation. He is whom we commune with, even though unseen.

There is more to life than efficiency and productivity. Face-to-face time with God is rich and meaningful. It changes us as we become more aware of His presence and work in our life.

In addition, face-to-face time with people is powerful. Take time to really look into the eyes of those you love. See people through the eyes of God. Instead of a text, call them up. Let them know how much you mean to them. Notice how things change when your focus changes.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.