You Say

Sometimes, we just don’t know who to believe in this world. There are voices all around us, some with very positive messages and others with very hurtful messages. We can’t forget those voices that swirl around in our minds. How do we decipher what is really true about ourselves? Consider the words of this song, You Say, by Lauren Daigle:

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough

Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?

Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing.

You say I am strong when I think I am weak

You say I am held when I am falling short

When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours

And I believe, Oh I believe

What you say of me….

(Songwriters: Paul Mabury, Lauren Ashley Daigle, Jason Ingram)

So, what’s it feel like to not feel the love?  What does it feel like to not measure up with others? How do you handle those moments when you feel so weak and insecure? Or how about those days at work when you know you’re falling short? It sure stinks to sometimes feel like you don’t fit in or belong, doesn’t it?

Perhaps the success of this song is that we have ALL felt these feelings and insecurities at one time or another. What we do with them matters.

I make it a habit of starting my day reading the Bible and praying. Why? Because I am fairly sure this song is about me. I’m so desperate for God to remind me of what He says about me. I’m desperate to walk in His confidence. And I totally need that confident reassurance that I belong to Him. Time with God meditating on Scripture helps jumpstart my day and give right thinking.

Listen to the rest of the words of this song:

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me

In you I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)

Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet

You have every failure, God, and You’ll have every victory. (ooh oh)

Do you find your worth and your identity in God alone? Can you take all you have and lay it at God’s feet? What would happen if you did?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Gentleness: A PR Strategy

Though our culture is getting more cynical and critical by the day, we really don’t have to follow suit. Loving people well goes a long way in life. One way we can love people well is by exhibiting a gentle spirit.

Paul in Philippians 4:5 says “Let your gentleness be evident to all." Gavin Ortland writes “It is easy to be gentle on some occasions, with some people. But this verse seems to be envisioning a public, consistent gentleness. Let everyone see it. Gentleness as a PR Strategy. I love that. We need more gentleness.”

So one way we can love people well is by responding and interacting with gentleness. How would embodying gentleness affect your work, your family, your relationships? 

The Greek word for gentleness is broader than our English word for “gentleness.” The closest word would probably be “forbearance.”  Grant Richison writes “It is a sweet reasonableness toward others. It involves the willingness to yield our personal rights. The word connotes the willingness to show consideration to others. It submits the need for flexibility, pliability.” (Grant Richison, Bible Exposition Commentary)

So, how do we respond when we’re interrupted at work? Or our schedule changes?  Someone disagrees with us? Our children don’t obey? Our plane is delayed 4 hours? A gentle person does not take things the wrong way. A gentle person doesn’t quickly take offense. A gentle person does not take things personally.

I don’t always act naturally with gentleness. Having consistent gentleness requires that I invite Christ into my day-to-day life. He helps me do what I can’t do on my own. In and of myself, I’m sure to blow it. But, Christ before me, behind me and around me helps me build a stronger gentleness into my life. 

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” Saint Francis de Sales

"I choose gentleness….Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clency my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.”  Max Lucado

“Jesus never mistreated anyone just because they mistreated Him.” He confronted them in a spirit of gentleness and then continued to love them.” Joyce Meyer

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Letting Stuff Go

It seems that we can easily be offended by others these days. There’s not one of us who hasn’t felt that twinge of pain come over us at some time or other. As much as we try, try, try to NOT be offended, we sometimes can’t let stuff go.

Being offended can make us feel mad, resentful, annoyed and/or irritated by the treatment of the offender. These feelings can roll around in our mind and keep us performing mental gymnastics that lead to a fierce mental headache, not to mention anger.

I remember being single and the “interesting” comments I would get from people in my church. “Why aren’t you married? What’s your problem? Can we set you up with so and so? I can’t believe you haven’t found someone yet!!!! “  I remember these comments being so hard to deal with. But as time went on, God began to give me tools to help.

I had to let go of people’s comments and realize many weren’t true. I began to pray about those things that offended me and literally hand them over to the Lord. God helped me forfeit my right to be offended. He showed His truth about myself. God even helped me see that I had a part in offending others too. Ouch.

Check out Brant Hansen’s words in the great book “Unoffendable”: "Whatever anyone’s done to me, or to anyone else, I stand just as guilty. People have lied to me, but I’ve lied too. People have been unfaithful to me, but I’ve been unfaithful too. People have hurt me, and I’ve hurt them. I get angry toward murderers, and then here comes Jesus, telling me if I’ve ever hated someone- and I have- I am the murderer’s moral equal. No one likes to hear this. We want to think people are worse than us. It’s one of our favorite pastimes.” (page 10, Unoffendable)

I’d say Jesus Christ had a perfect handle on how to live being “unoffendable.” Look at how he treated Peter, who denied him three times! Jesus knew Peter would betray him. But, it didn’t stop Jesus from loving him. He didn’t give up on Peter. It’s so easy to give up on people. Stop. Pray. Drop your anger. Let stuff go. Embrace God’s forgiveness and choose to be unoffendable.

Quotes by Brant Hansen, Unoffendable-

“I can let stuff go, because it’s not all about me. Simply reminding myself to refuse to take offense is a big part of the battle.” 

“Yes, the world is broken. But don’t be offended by it. Instead, thank God that He’s intervened in it, and He’s going to restore it.”

“We can risk loving people-incredibly difficult, insulting people- because He loves us.”

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Tony Romo and Identity

I wasn’t at all excited about the Super Bowl this year. Once the Dallas Cowboys were eliminated, I lost interest. But, I still enjoyed celebrating the day with friends and family. The best part about the game was listening to Tony Romo, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback serve as a color analyst alongside Jim Nanst. I guess that’s the closest Tony will get to a Super Bowl. I wish it had been with the Cowboys.

Romo is known for his ability to predict plays on live TV. Some are saying he’s the best in the booth these days. It wasn’t that long ago that he was throwing footballs with the Cowboys, so maybe he remembers the defenses he threw against. Maybe he’s just good at what he does.

Romo hasn’t always been known for being good at what he does. Many Cowboy fans criticized him for his quarterback abilities over the years. Once he retired, many of those same people wished him back on the team. Public opinion can be so fickle.

I’ve often wondered how Romo navigated all the love and hate from people. I do believe his faith plays an important role in what really matters. Romo knows his identity isn't in what He does, but who He is in Christ.

When we find our identity in our job title, what happens when the job is gone? When we find our identity in our physical prowess, what happens when you can’t do what you once did? Shocking reminders of life's realities.

You are a child of God! Take that in. God thought about you and created you uniquely and perfectly in His image. You are His masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do the good works He prepared in advance for you to do. You have a role in God’s kingdom. And what He thinks of you? Well, that’s what matters.

Walk with confidence in Whose you are. Knowing your identity changes everything.

“To the degree that we embrace the truth that our identity is not rooted in our success, power, or popularity, but in God’s infinite love, to that degree can we let go of our need to judge.” Henri J. M. Nouwen

“Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4

“Five lies of identity: 1) I am what I have. 2) I am what I do. 3) I am what other people say or think of me. 4) I am nothing more than my worst moment. 5) I am nothing less than my best moment.” Henri J. M. Nouwen

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Time to Reflect

In the distracted pace we live, we often have little time to reflect. Rich introspection demands time to be still, contemplate and thoughtfully look at one’s life. Who has time for this?

Between a long list of to-do’s, following up with emails and the demands of family, when do we find time to pause? And to be honest, do we really want to reflect? It’s sometimes easier to hide from our own thoughts rather than truly take a peek into our true self.

Alan Noble in his book “Disruptive Witness” writes: “Our frenetic and flattened culture is not conducive to wrestling with thick ideas, ideas with depth, complexity, and personal implications. It is a culture of immediacy, simple emotions, snap judgments, optics, and identity formation.” Is it any wonder that reflection has been quietly shoved to the side?

When’s the last time you reflected on questions that bring out the real you?

• Has God given you any new beginnings this year? How are you doing living in the new beginning?
• For what moment today are you most grateful? For what moment today are you least grateful?
• When did you give and receive the most love today? When did you withhold love?
• How are you dealing with the problems/challenges in your life? 
• What was the most life-giving part of your day?
• What is it like for you to set aside time to play?
• What character trait of yours needs to change the most?
• How aware are you of the possibility of meeting God during your workday?
• When was the last time you had a deep sense of connection with God? (Questions from Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, page 53-61)

I suppose we all struggle in this area. We have good intentions to pause and reflect, but life takes over. Why not try to have some personal time this week to just pause and reflect? Invite God to reflect with you and note where changes need to be made. It will truly be a gift for you.

“My soul finds rest in God alone.” Psalm 62:1

“People in a hurry never have time for recovery. Their minds have little time to mediate and pray so that problems can be put in perspective. In short, people in our age are showing signs of physiological disintegration because we are living at a pace that is too fast for our bodies.” Archibald Hart

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio

Stick With Love

Martin Luther King Jr. experienced racism from an early age. I can only imagine that the events he went through stuck with him for life.  Amazingly, he used his pain to make a difference in the world. He became an activist, a pastor and began leading a series of peaceful protests in the south that significantly changed laws dealing with the equality of African Americans. His work changed our nation forever. We are forever grateful.

I think most of us have a hard time loving those who persecute us. To be honest, most of us have a hard time loving those who slight us, judge us or even challenge us. To think that Martin Luther King Jr. spoke about love so profoundly is beyond beautiful. In human’s eyes, he had every reason to hate. But, he didn’t. He chose love.

Check out his following quotes on love:

“He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.”

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.  That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

“I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s life was cut short, but no one could stop the dream he had! No one. Today, we continue to be inspired by his words. Just think! What would it be like if we loved like this? God calls us to love our fellow man like this.

Who might God be calling you to love that’s not easy to love? An irritating relative?  A difficult staff member? A not-so-kind member? Inspired by MLK, let’s make a difference in our world by sticking with love. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

“Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

#TylerStrong

I’d never heard about Tyler Trent until sometime back before the Ohio State Buckeyes and Purdue Boilermakers football game in October. The week leading up to the game, Tyler Trent’s name became more and more prominent.

Tyler Trent was diagnosed with osteosarcoma as a 15 year old in 2014. In 2018, cancer spread to his spine. He had been attending college at Purdue University at the time and had to return home to his family in September of this past year.

Trent and his family had made plans to attend the October 20 game against Ohio State. Many assumed that this may be his last trip to the Purdue campus. It was that week, I remember Tyler making a prediction that Purdue would beat Ohio State. What????? As much as my little Ohio heart didn’t want that to happen, as the game progressed, I began to want Purdue to win too...for Tyler. The Boilermakers ended up upsetting Ohio State just like Trent had predicted!

In the two months that followed, Tyler received many awards, co-hosted an episode of Sports Center, and wrote guest columns for the Indianapolis Star newspaper. He used his platform to bring in thousands of dollars for cancer research funds.

Tyler Trent died January 1, 2019. Tyler Trent got a chance to speak at his own Memorial Service by video. Check out what he had to say….

“The first time I had cancer, there was a lack of trust. I did not trust the Lord in any way, shape or form. I didn’t think He could heal me. I thought He was out to get me cause of the mistakes I made. This time around, I’m fully confident in whatever and trust Him for whatever He has planned, it’s for the better. I don’t know what that is yet.”

“At this point, time is really precious to me. When you’re healthy and life’s going right, its not as precious as it should be. When time becomes precious for other people I want them to have the same security and confidence and hope that I have. The option is to sit around and do nothing or go out and do something.”

“I want to be a good representation for Christ for those around me now and those who’ve always been there for me on my entire journey. I always want to be impacting and providing hope and being a good steward of those opportunities.”

“If Christ has allowed me to live this long, this is pretty unprecedented for anyone with this cancer. The Lord commands us to rejoice always and give thanks in all circumstances. He says not just the good circumstances but all circumstances.  My strength comes from the faith I have and is accessible to anyone who believes in Christ. If you don’t believe in Christ, that strength is not possible.”

“It’s easy to shake your fist at God because you’re paralyzed from waste down or on your left side or have to go through pain from emergency surgeries. He’s given me my cancer for a reason and wants to be glorified in this cancer. I want to leave a legacy of what the Lord can do when you allow him to work. There is always time in the day to give glory to God. If you don’t think you have time for the Lord, make time. We don’t know how many days we have. No one does. There’s one person that does.”

Sometimes you and I complain about the most insignificant things. We wake up grouchy and mad the world. We get sideways about the silliest of things. Maybe it’s time to rise up and live like you're dying. Tyler left a legacy for you and I. Let’s rise up!

“His goal was to leave a legacy- but not his own. He wanted people to see him and think about how Christ worked in him. He wanted people to see more than Tyler Trent, more than a cancer fighter-he wanted people to see God.” Annie Osborne

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.