Counting on the Cowboys?

My husband recently bought home something that others might find little interest in.... Cowboy Duct Tape.  Yep, that's right.  Cowboy duct tape.  Of course, I also have Cowboy T-shirts, visors, coffee mugs, and sunglasses.  But duct tape?  I've thought about using it to keep from screaming at the television when things don't go so well for the boys.  It seems like you can never quite count on which boys are going to show up on a Sunday.  The good Cowboys or the bad Cowboys? 

I've been a Cowboy fan all my life.  I love the Cowboys!  But, you know what?  I can't count on the Cowboys to win.  I want to.  But, I just can't.  They let me down way too often.  There are some days where I don't want to don my T-shirt...call it feeling humiliated on their behalf.  Maybe, there will be a day where I can always count on them.  But, I doubt it. Our teams eventually let us down.  So will people.

What can you really count on in this life?  Honestly, I think the answer is God and God alone. I know.  You may not think you can always count on God.  Maybe you feel he let you down sometime in your life and you just can't reconcile that.  He didn't do what you wanted Him to do.  But the truth is, He is always trustworthy, whether you think so or not.  He will never let you down.  I can't hope in people, teams or circumstances to turn out the way I want them to.  But I can hope in God.

As you start your day, consider this beautiful compilation of scriptures taken from Max Lucado's book 'God Will Carry You Through': "I look up to the hills, but where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let you be defeated.  He who guards you never sleeps.  As the mountains surround Jerusalem, the Lord surrounds his people now and forever.  You are my help.  Because of your protection, I sing.  Our help comes form the Lord, who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-3; Psalm 125:2; Psalm 63:7; Psalm 124:8)  You can count on God.  Begin your day looking to Him.  He will never let you down.  The Cowboys will.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Remembering the Cost

It was November, 2007.  A cold, dark and cloudy day.  I remember standing motionlessly, staring at thousands of shoes through a giant glass window.  No, I wasn't at Macy's holiday window on Michigan Avenue.  I was at Auschwitz-Birkenau Museum in Poland.  I remember staring in horror at over 25,000 pairs of shoes behind a huge glass case.  My friend and I stared in silence for a long time.  It was said that those shoes had been collected in one day at the peak of the horrible atrocities there.  My heart broke as I tried to fathom such loss of human life.

I can't always comprehend fully the freedoms we have here in the United Sates.  Freedom is all I've known.  When we're so used to having it so good, we forget to give thanks.  To appreciate.  To take note of those who've gone before us to give us the amazing freedoms we have.  I've not been extremely faithful about praying for those who are protecting our great country.  I often walk pass a soldier and forget to say "thanks." I can sometimes not even give thought to why we celebrate a holiday like Veterans' Day. Perhaps, today is a reminder to do so.  We live in a great nation.  We are free to attend the church of our choice.  We are free to have a bible.  We are free to vote for our leaders. We are free.

Today, we celebrate Veterans Day.  It was the eleventh hour of the eleventh day in the eleventh month in 1918 when the world celebrated, as a treaty was signed ending World War I.  Today, Americans honor the service and sacrifice of our armed forces in the past and present.   We understand that our freedom came with a cost.  Take that moment today and give thanks for those who've gone before you for your freedoms.  Take time to write a note or email to someone in the armed forces, thanking them for their service. Say "thanks" to the servicemen and women who cross your path today.  Finally, thank God for this great country and for the freedoms that we have.  We have so much to be grateful for!  Begin this day with a grateful heart.  Life may not be going for you the way you want, but you can still give thanks!

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

The Power of a Cookie

I went to prison this past weekend.  Dolph Briscoe Prison in Dilley, Texas.  Barred windows.  High walls.  Barbed wire.  Razor circular wire at the top of the fences for prison security.  Not a pleasant place.

This past weekend, my husband and I served on a KAIROS weekend.  Our volunteer team of men hosted 42 inmates over the course of a weekend.  In addition, a group of us women worked in an old gas station transformed into a kitchen in downtown Dilley.  Preparing meals.  Packing cookies. Praying for inmates.  Enjoying the reports each evening from our team of guys.

The inmates came that weekend with an assortment of emotions...anger, hatred, apathy, loneliness, depression, and without hope.  They learned about the gift of forgiveness.  They saw God's love demonstrated in countless tangible ways. As the weekend went on, the prison was transformed with laughter, hugs, dancing, singing, praying, honest conversations and visible hope.  Can you imagine over 100 men (volunteers and inmates) linking arms, singing to the top of their lungs "Lean on Me?" In one little weekend, that cold, dark prison gym was turned into a place of hope.  Hope in God and love for one another.

Some of the inmates desire to be a part of the weekend for one thing- cookies.  We bring in thousands of cookies during our KAIROS weekend.  Yummy chocolate chip cookies.  These guys never get cookies.  We pack them in bags of 9.  Each day they get a bag.  Can you imagine what it feels like to receive a bag of fresh cookies?  These guys feel loved.  Love through a bag of cookies.  The cookies also become a tool of restoring relationships.  One night, the inmates are given a second bag of cookies and told to share the bag with someone they've wronged and ask forgiveness.  Finally, the cookies are dispensed to all 1300 inmates, including maximum security inmates.  As our guys left the prison one night, they passed a group of inmates playing soccer.  The inmates yelled out "Cookies! Cookies!  Thanks for the cookies!  The power of a cookie.

If you're reading this, you're probably not prison.  You are not confined to a cell.  You have a life and are free.  But sometimes, you may still live like you're in prison.  Confined.  Angry.  Hurt.  Not forgiving those you need to forgive.  Not making wrongs right.  Messed up relationships. Today is a new start.  Start up!  Realize God's love for you  Then, go and love others.  You don't even need a bag of cookies.  Just affirm them.  Notice them.  Care about them.  And if need be, forgive them.  Never forget, there are a lot of prisoners walking around in the free world.  God comes to set the prisoners free.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  2 Corinthians 3:17

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

When I Relax I Feel Guilty

I finally felt a twinge of fall in the air in South Texas last weekend.  Cooler temps.  Rain in the forecast.  The day was made for nesting.  At home, that is.  No appointments.  No demands.  Just pure nesting. Such a day demanded pulling out the smelly pumpkin candles and dragging out the festive fall decorations.  Nesting wasn't complete without making two pans of yummy pumpkin bread.  I love those kind of days...where you have nothing really scheduled and can allow the day to fritter away.

The art of doing nothing is quite an art.  If perfectly honest, many of us have a hard time taking time to do what we enjoy.  Reading a book.  Lounging at home.  Taking a nap.  Calling an old friend.  Baking cookies.  Snuggling with your pooch or kitty.   Playing games with your family. We simply have a hard time chilling.  Years ago, Tim Hansel wrote a book called "What I Relax I Feel Guilty."  It seems that many of us might live by that title.

In recent years, I've begun to understand the importance of stopping and embracing the gift of rest and relaxation.  Even God thought rest was a good idea!  In the bible, He declared the seventh day of the week a day of rest.  Just think..."The first thing the Bible ever declared holy was not an object or a place, but a "time," a twenty-four-hour period called Sabbath. "(Lance Witt, Replenish)
Most of us work hard during the week.  WE must learn that it's good to take a "time out" and rest, enjoying the good gifts that God has given us.  Richard Swenson said it best "We must have some room to breathe.  WE need freedom to think and permission to heal.  Our relationships are starved to death by velocity.  No one has the time to listen, let alone love...is God now pro-exhaustion?  Doesn't he lead people beside the still waters anymore?"  It would seem to me that God tries to lead us beside the still waters, but we don't always want to go.  We feel like we need to be doing something productive.  Why do we throw such guilt upon ourselves?

Peter Scazzero in his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, has a great template for practicing the Sabbath: 1.  "Stop.  Put productivity on hold for twenty-four hours. 2. Rest.  For some of us the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nap.  3. Delight. Isaiah 58 talks about enjoying and delighting in Sabbath.  Sabbath is a day to enjoy what God created.  4. Contemplate.  Take time to "be" with God."

I have a feeling that we would be far better in our jobs if we took the Sabbath seriously and enjoyed a well deserved break.  Give yourself permission.  God wants to give you the rest that no one else will! 

Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

A Life of Integrity

When was the last time you shocked someone by doing the right thing?  While shopping at HEB, I've been known to walk out of the store, get to my car and realize I have an unpaid item still lurking in the far corner of my cart.  I grumble to myself and make my way back to the cashier with the item.  Often, I get a response like "Thank you so much!  You are so kind to bring it back!"  Perhaps you, too, have experienced first-hand how people are shocked by you doing the right thing.

Isn't it sad that we live in a world where people are more shocked by people demonstrating integrity than the lack of it?  Every day, we are confronted in the news of people who have done the wrong thing.  Maybe it's a professional athlete that you look up to.  Perhaps, it's a politician that you had supported. A businessmen caught cheating on his customers.  Even Christian leaders have been found embezzling, visiting with prostitutes, or taking drugs.  No longer are we surprised by such actions.

It's very easy for us to "cast stones" at those who make obvious wrong choices.  We are quick to judge their actions.  We do it without a thought.  In fact, probably in the last few months, most of us have had an opinion of a certain sports figure located in College Station.  It's easy to judge.  But, how easy is it for you and me to be a person of integrity?

Practicing integrity means that your behavior matches your beliefs.  (Craig Groeschel, Altar Ego) Integrity is defined as a state of being whole.  Undivided.  Complete.  Synonyms of integrity are honesty and unity.  Every day, we are given a choice to live, act and speak with integrity.  In our social circumstances, for example, we often present ourselves in the best possible light, so as to appear how others want us to be.  That, my friend, is a mask.  It's not who you really are, but who you're pretending to be.  Far from integrity.

If people who know you were asked to describe you with 5 different qualities, would integrity be one of them?  Wouldn't it be wonderful to be known as a man or woman of integrity?  Stop the white lies.  No more cheating.  Be honest with your spouse.  Demonstrate integrity in your work life. Don't exaggerate your stories. No lying on the resume.  Make a difference by living a life of integrity.

"Integrity doesn't come in degrees: low, medium, or high.  You either have integrity or you don't."  Tony Dungy

"May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in you."  Psalm 25:21

Nancy Abbott is Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

A Picture of Unconditional Love

 Last week, something showed up on Facebook that will forever be etched in my mind.  The picture told more than a thousand words.  Picture with me seeing a cute loveable cuddly 10-month old baby boy wrapping his arms around a 50-something woman.  The woman, however, seemed to be staring off into the distance, limp, with no expression.  Here is what the caption read:

"If you ever wondered what unconditional love looked like, here is a picture.  This is Kevin Fay, giving his Grandma Lori a big hug.  Lori has Young Onset Alzheimer's disease.  She can't hold Kevin, say his name, sing him a song, read him a book or bake him a cookie.  Kevin doesn't care.  The second he is held in Lori's lap, he hugs Lori with his whole body and soul.  I think it was Jesus who said if anyone wanted to truly comprehend God's kingdom of love, all one needed to do was pay attention to the way little children lived their lives.  I think I'll pay attention to Kevin more closely."  Gil Wesley

Gil, Lori's husband, a former All-American football center from Florida State, has walked a tough road.  His college sweetheart and first wife, Debbie, died of brain cancer in her thirties, leaving behind two small children.  Now, Lori, lives in a care facility in Chico, California, where Young Onset Alzheimer's has taken over her life.  Here is one guy who has experienced his share of pain in life.  Yet, on Facebook, he's giving us a glimpse of what really matters.  A teachable moment, if you will, for all to see.  Priceless. 

Someone posted below the picture "How can a picture break my heart and warm me all the way to my bones at the same time?"  Someone else wrote "Thanks for catching God working in Kevin and sharing it with us all."  Another friend wrote Gil, it behooves all of us to see, grasp and embrace this unadulterated love of a child.  It's true....kids really are, in their unique way, powerful, genuine and lovely in moments like this."

Could it be that we get so caught up in our own adult world that we forget the simplicity and unconditional love of a child?  As we "grow up", do we lose the freedom to simply love with no conditions?  We can learn so much from a child.  Go ahead, reach out and love freely today.  Really love.  No strings attached love.  Become like a child.

"There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  1 John 4:18

Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio

Daring Greatly

Think about the last time you felt really vulnerable.  For most of us, it's one of those roads we least like to travel.  Who wants to live open to others so they can see the real deal?  We'd much rather slap on a smile, say "I'm fine," even when we're struggling beneath the surface.  Sadly, most of us view vulnerability as weakness.  We've been taught that are entire life.

Recently, I heard Dr. Brene' Brown speak at Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit.  Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston-Graduate College of Social Work.  She is an expert in shame and vulnerability.  Her most recent book, Daring Greatly, "means the courage to be vulnerable.  To show up and be seen.  To ask for what you need, to talk about what you're feeling.  To have the hard conversations."  This past week, she was interviewed on Oprah about vulnerability.

Most of us aren't good at vulnerability.  We think back to our vulnerable moments in life and cringe.  They weren't fun.  Dr. Brown, in her research, talked to many people about their most vulnerable moments.  Some of them were "The first date after my divorce.  Trying to get pregnant after my third miscarriage.  Sitting with my wife, who has stage 4 breast cancer, making plans for our children.  Picking up the phone to call someone who has just experienced a great loss."

So often, we avoid at all costs the things that cause the most vulnerability.  What if you did pick up the phone and talk to someone who has experienced a loss?  Wouldn't that feel amazing after they thanked you over and over for calling?  Taking that risk and facing into someone's pain is courageous.

Sadly, we've experienced critics in life that have had the power to keep us from being truly vulnerable.  They've had way too much power in our lives.  As time goes on, we slowly attach a mask that can grow thicker and thicker.  Have you ever thought about how crazy it is to evaluate your identity based on the reactions of others around you?  Yet, we regularly do just that.

Consider that the God who created you loves you more than anyone on the face of the earth.  Nothing you can ever do will ever change his love for you.  You have people in your life who love you and are FOR you.  Why be so consumed about what other people think?  Think about how your life might change if you dared greatly to be vulnerable.  To be who you really are.  It takes courage.  Dare greatly.

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly.... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." Theodore Roosevelt

Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.