Daring Greatly

Think about the last time you felt really vulnerable.  For most of us, it's one of those roads we least like to travel.  Who wants to live open to others so they can see the real deal?  We'd much rather slap on a smile, say "I'm fine," even when we're struggling beneath the surface.  Sadly, most of us view vulnerability as weakness.  We've been taught that are entire life.

Recently, I heard Dr. Brene' Brown speak at Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit.  Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston-Graduate College of Social Work.  She is an expert in shame and vulnerability.  Her most recent book, Daring Greatly, "means the courage to be vulnerable.  To show up and be seen.  To ask for what you need, to talk about what you're feeling.  To have the hard conversations."  This past week, she was interviewed on Oprah about vulnerability.

Most of us aren't good at vulnerability.  We think back to our vulnerable moments in life and cringe.  They weren't fun.  Dr. Brown, in her research, talked to many people about their most vulnerable moments.  Some of them were "The first date after my divorce.  Trying to get pregnant after my third miscarriage.  Sitting with my wife, who has stage 4 breast cancer, making plans for our children.  Picking up the phone to call someone who has just experienced a great loss."

So often, we avoid at all costs the things that cause the most vulnerability.  What if you did pick up the phone and talk to someone who has experienced a loss?  Wouldn't that feel amazing after they thanked you over and over for calling?  Taking that risk and facing into someone's pain is courageous.

Sadly, we've experienced critics in life that have had the power to keep us from being truly vulnerable.  They've had way too much power in our lives.  As time goes on, we slowly attach a mask that can grow thicker and thicker.  Have you ever thought about how crazy it is to evaluate your identity based on the reactions of others around you?  Yet, we regularly do just that.

Consider that the God who created you loves you more than anyone on the face of the earth.  Nothing you can ever do will ever change his love for you.  You have people in your life who love you and are FOR you.  Why be so consumed about what other people think?  Think about how your life might change if you dared greatly to be vulnerable.  To be who you really are.  It takes courage.  Dare greatly.

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly.... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." Theodore Roosevelt

Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.