Vulnerability

Kidney stones have a distinct way of making one feel vulnerable. There’s nothing like waking up in the night realizing that there is no other place to be in the world than the local hospital. So, off we went as fast as we could. It wasn’t fast enough. The ER staff didn’t realize the imminent danger I was facing, so waiting was my only option.

Finally, we got back into a real room. By that time, I thought life was soon to cease as I knew it. Still, they didn’t realize the imminent danger or pain I was feeling, so we continued to wait. Those long minutes stretched into hours at the hospital that night. I felt so helpless. So small. So out of control. A deep sense of vulnerability seemed to consume me.

Maybe you’re part of the Kidney Stone Club? If so, you know what I’m talking about. If not, you’re the lucky ones! I can only imagine you’ve experienced some of these same feelings under different circumstances. Vulnerability comes in all shapes and sizes.

I would prefer to never have another one of these stones visit me again. Never! But, what if it does?

We don’t have to fear the things we can’t control. We don’t have to live afraid. I honestly remember praying for God to take away the pain. He didn’t answer when I wanted Him to. Yet, God was there with me and He will ALWAYS be with me, no matter what I’m going through...and somehow, God got me through a very difficult night.

Did you know that Jesus will never leave you nor forsake You? Did you know Jesus will never take His eye off you? Did you know that even when you’re going through miserable pain or awful circumstances, He has not forgotten you nor let you go. Did you know that we can grow more like Christ, even in challenging times?

Since that dreadful night, I take great delight in recognizing God helped me through a most vulnerable time. I had a different take on my vulnerability. When I am weak, I am more apt to see my desperate need for God. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 speaks of this: “But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We hate to admit our vulnerability. Yet, there is something so important to see in this verse. Paul was desperate in his desire to find relief from his burden. God didn’t remove the burden the way Paul wanted. Instead of taking it away, God strengthened Paul under it and showed His strength in Paul’s vulnerable weakness. Paul understood that God’s grace would be sufficient. Paul knew he couldn’t rely on himself! 

Sooner or later, we will all experience vulnerability. God is near and will show Himself strong in your weakness. 

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.