It’s sometimes hard to have empathy when you’ve never gone through someone else’s experience. I’ve never had a child, so I don’t always understand what moms go through. Just this last weekend, I was at a baby shower and enjoyed a marvelous conversation with some ladies at my table as they shared their experiences of giving birth. Even though baby showers aren’t always easy for me, I truly enjoyed listening, laughing and learning from them. I felt so much joy just engaging in their world and being curious.
Practicing empathy is not always easy, yet it’s necessary. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The beauty of empathy is to stand in another person’s shoes. We are quick to stay in our world, and rarely venture into the “unknown.” Yet, now, more than ever, empathy is essential. Whether it’s systematic racism, various types of abuse, relational challenges or loss of work or income, or sickness, our investment in truly caring makes all the difference!
Will you ask yourself the following questions:
How do I intentionally try to feel how others feel? How could I grow in this?
How would I want to be treated if I was in this same situation?
How could I grow in listening more and talking less?
How can I build a culture of empathy in my community and work?
How could I zoom out of my own lens and try to see things from another viewpoint?
How have I judged people unfairly, not knowing the whole story? What could I do differently?
I feel like these questions are helpful for me in getting to the bottom of my empathy-lack. I want to feel what people feel and be less concerned with myself. I want to practice the teachings of Jesus found in Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”
When I lay aside my own self interests, hurts and pains and invest in thinking of others, there’s a feeling of joy! Why? I believe it’s because considering others’ interests links us with Christ’s character and example of humility. We emulate Christ in this choice to lovingingly empathize.
Today, I invite you to pick one of the questions above and prayerfully consider it. What changes do you need to make? How could you grow in empathy?
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
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