Thoughts Run Amuck

When things go amuck, they are wildly out of control. This past week, my thoughts ran amuck and I didn’t know how to stop them.

A week ago, our sweet English Springer, Zoe, had abdominal surgery to remove a mass. Unfortunately, the mass was very closely connected with the stomach and pancreas and there was no way they could get it out. We were given a dismal diagnosis for our 5 year old pup. Our hearts are broken.

So, what do I do with those thoughts about the future? When will she die? How will she die? Will she be alone or will we be there? Will she suffer? How long will we have her? As the days passed, I finally recognized my thought life and how fear had settled in.

God somehow reminded me of the word SAVOR. He wants me to savor the moments I have with Zoe. Could I relish with pleasure these moments when I can pet her and love on her? Could I remember that each day is a gift and I’m not even guaranteed tomorrow myself? Could I look at her with joy for her being alive today, not dread what’s to come?

God also reminded me to be GRATEFUL. Zoe arrived on the day the Spurs won the 2014 championship. It was a grand day in every way! We have so many great memories and packed so much life and service into these last 5 years. Zoe, as a therapy dog, has been able to minister to so many and share beautiful unconditional love. My husband and I have so much to be grateful for!

Finally, God drew me back to thinking on WHAT IS TRUE. Philippians 4: 8 says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.”  God captured my thought life this week to remind me of a better way. "Nothing is more daily, critical and transforming than our thought lives." (Scotty Smith) This hit me! I CAN walk through this difficult season, feeling pain and yet at the same time, thinking on what is true.

As I walk into this new normal, I do so remembering that God’s ways are always best and He can always be trusted. I prayed for a different outcome, but God is not answering my prayer the way I wanted. That doesn't mean He isn't still good. God is always good! I just needed God's word to shape my thinking when my thinking had run amuck with fear and dread. 

How have your thoughts run amuck? How has fear taken over your thinking? In what way are you frightened about the future? Will you invite God into your thought life and ask Him for help?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio