Bigger Than I Thought

I think sometimes we think that God is way out there in the heavens and kind of a fuddy-duddy and distant. Many of us have had bad experiences in the church. It’s affected us, for sure. Some of us have grown up going to church, but found it boring, distant and impersonal.

Could it be that God is different from your negative church experiences? Could it be that your preconceived notions or thoughts about God may not be accurate? Might you be basing your view of God in how you see (or saw) other Christians behaving?

There was a time when I wanted to give up on the local church. The pain I experienced seemed too much to bear. It just didn’t seem worth it. But, then, I realized that God designed the local church for me to learn, thrive and grow together. I refused to throw in the towel on the church...and God!

Perhaps, you and I need to enlarge our view of God? Last night, I got a little teary as I sang the song “Bigger Than I Thought” (Song by Passion, Songwriters: Natalie Sims/Sean Curran/Allen Swoope) with other women at my church.

“Speak to me

When the silence steals my voice

You understand me

You understand me

Come to me

In the valley of unknowns

You understand me

You understand me 

So I throw all my cares before You

My doubts and fears don’t scare You

You’re bigger than I thought You were

You’re bigger than I thought

So I stop all negotiations

With the God of all creation

You’re bigger than I thought You were

You’re bigger than I thought You were, yes…..”

I’m not sure why I was a weepy hot mess during this song, but I was. God just poured out His love to me in a moment when I was really hurting. He reminded me that I could give Him my pain, my doubts and my fears. He reminded me of how truly personal He was and that He knew EVERYTHING about me, and loved me unconditionally.

God is personal, folks. He’s longing for a relationship with each of you. Perhaps, it's time to have a chat with God. He'll meet you right where you are. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” Declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.