Not So Perfect Holiday

Holidays can be wonderful times for family gatherings, scrumptious food and time away from work. But they can also be not so perfect times as well.

I think we have this cultural mindset that we’re “supposed” to be happy, thankful, and celebratory at this time of year. But that’s not true for everyone. What makes the holidays not so perfect? Recent loss of a beloved family member or friend, relationship break up, financial constraints, pain that won’t go away, depression, family strife, stress at work and sometimes just struggling to feel positive about life, to name a few. 

Just today, I was ticked off about something that got added to the Thanksgiving Day festivities, completely different than what I planned. How could something so minor become major to me? Why couldn’t I just let it go, agree to the change and just get my attitude adjusted?

When holidays are not so perfect, it’s important to just admit the obvious. Holidays are NEVER perfect. Who said they were? So, relax and let that synch in. Allow the day to flow in all its imperfections. Relax when the pie burns. Don’t worry when the turkey is dry. Keep the peace when family conversations go south. BE the difference maker in your not so perfect holiday.

Make sure you pray both before and during the holiday about your concerns. I know most my worries and concerns are relieved when I just take time to pray. Holiday relationships can be tough, but please know that God is ready and available to walk with you through your not so perfect holiday season. God comforts us when we’re downcast. (2 Corinthians 7:5-6) He doesn’t chide us or hide from us. He comforts us! He is the “Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3) Even when things aren’t the way we want them to be, God can give us perfect peace.

Take time to share your concern with a trusted friend. Admit that your struggling and name it. Don’t be ashamed! Ask for prayer. Get advice. I did this today and I received from a friend a whole new way to look at my situation! God can encourage us through our friends!

Father in Heaven, help us be honest about our feelings, expectant of your comfort and thankful for the gift of friendship and family. Alert us this week to all the many blessings we’ve been given and help us remember to give you thanks. Help us be sensitive to the needs of others around us, even the cranky aunt or child out of control. Remind us that you are able to work in us and walk with us through these holidays and give us joy, even amidst difficulties. Thank you, God, for your goodness! We praise you this Thanksgiving for life itself. From your not so perfect child. Amen.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

HEB Shopper Fail

I had a major HEB shopper fail last week that made me want to crawl away, hide and never return. I take full responsibility for my shopper fail. Hopefully, it will never happen again.

I had a pretty full cart and made a beeline for the register that was almost empty. Yahoo, I was in luck! No one in line! So, I pulled in with the cart and unloaded my 50 or so items. When about ready to pay, I looked up and noticed the lighted box above the register: 15 items or less.  I looked at the cashier and said, “I am so sorry! I somehow missed that sign altogether! I would have happily taken this to another register.” She was very kind to me and off I went, a remorseful shopper.

I get it. We all make mistakes. But, I totally had a shopper fail that day. It was such an obvious mistake that the apology came quickly. But, sometimes, the apology doesn’t come quickly. Maybe you know what I mean. There are times when it’s super hard to ask for forgiveness. We hem and we haw and we put it off and we think to ourselves…. It wasn’t THAT big of a deal what I did. I won’t say anything.

Yet apologizing is so liberating! It frees up your mind to focus on more important things. It makes awkward moments with the injured party vanish away. (I am free to roam about HEB now, not even thinking about my shopper fail.) It releases the judgment others might hold against you. And, it puts you in right relationship with God and others when we chose to forgive.

Beth Moore writes “Never underestimate the power of an apology. Few of us want to pump our fists and cheer on our deathbeds,  ‘Woohoo! I never did say I was sorry for that!’ The proud are so lonely. They won’t admit it but they are. No one’s more alone that the one who views an apology as caving.”

As we enter into this holiday season, it might be time to make wrongs right …. with a family member, friend or co-worker. Break through the weirdness and initiate like Jesus did in the Gospels. He always showed love and He always initiated even with those who treated Him poorly. He spoke about forgiveness too, saying not seven times, but seventy times seven! (Matthew 18:22)

Let’s enter this holiday season asking God to give us a humble, forgiving spirit. Be quick to apologize for your wrongs.  Be a restorer in relationships, not a withholder. Remember, when you forgive, you are released from your own prison.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio

The Cowboys and the Cat

Once upon a time, there was a football game that took place on the East Coast. The Cowboys had come with visions of beating the Giants. The Cowboys truly looked like Cowboys and crushed the Giants by many, many points. Sadly, no one seemed to care. It was a large black cat that appeared out of nowhere on the field that stole the show.

The black cat’s 15 minutes of fame took over social media. The cat zigzagged across the turf, refusing to be captured. Kevin Harlan, of Westwood One Sports Radio, even had a play by play for the cat “A state trooper has come on the field and the cat runs into the end zone. That is a touchdown!” After the cat's touchdown, it found an opening and escaped, never to be seen again by football fans.

The next day, nobody seemed to care about the Cowboys win. Everyone was talking about the cat. The Cowboys were upstaged by a cat!

How does it feel to be left out? When your opinion doesn’t matter? When you're not noticed? When you're upstaged by someone else?

Pride is just so human, isn’t it? It is this battle with pride that reminds me of my need with God. God freely gives humility. We only need ask. The Bible says “Honor others before yourself.” (Romans 12:10) In Philippians 2:3 it says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

Do you notice when your pride rises to the surface and you feel hurt? It’s in that moment, when God wants to rescue you from pride. It is God who helps us be a servant of one another. It is God who helps us rejoice with those who succeed more than us. It is God who helps us enjoy making others a success. It is God who helps us respond in humility.

President Truman said “You can accomplish anything in life, provided you do not mind who gets the credit.” Timothy Keller says that humility is: “For it not to matter whether it was their success or your success. Not to care if they did it or you did it. You are so happy they did it as if you did it yourself.”

Let’s not care when the black cat steals the show. Ask God for the gift of humility.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Jesus, Take the Wheel

It seems that we eventually have a moment in life where we need Jesus to take the wheel. “Jesus, Take the Wheel”,(written by James, Lindsey and Sampson) recorded by American country music artist Carrie Underwood, tells the story of that “moment” when she sees her life flash before her and fear sets in:

“Jesus, take the wheel

Take it from my hands

‘Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

Jesus, take the wheel.

The real honest truth is that we often think we can handle our own wheel, thank you very much. We’re self sufficient, able, strong, intelligent and capable. We have careers and all sorts of initials after our name. We’re doing fine with our own wheel! Why would we need Jesus?

At the same time, we make mistakes and botch things up. We know we do, as much as we try to hide that part of ourselves. We don’t know what we don’t know. We live in our “rightness” if only in our minds, missing out on the amazing life offered to us if we let go of our wheel.

What if God took control of your life? What if He set the course for your life? Knowing the greatness and sovereignty of our God, there is no other One that I would want to control my life. No One.

“Jesus, Take the Wheel” shouldn’t just be our last ditch effort when things get bad and we’re desperate for God. “Jesus Take the Wheel” is plea for each day. I need God each day to direct me, guide me, love me, and care for me. And when I’m tempted to go on side-trips of comparison, pride, envy, discontentment, jealousy and gossip, I plead with Jesus to take my wheel. When I live with unforgiveness, anger and resentment, I cry out for Jesus to take the wheel. When I judge others for their wrongdoings, but fail to see my own, I once again ask Jesus to take the wheel.

Lord, would you take the wheel of my heart? Set the course you wish for me to go. Get me to your destination of choice. You know me more than I  know myself. You know what’s best for me. Forgive me for the times I try to grab the wheel wanting what I want. Redirect me to every good thing you offer me in Christ. Lord, direct my steps. Your ways are blameless. You are a shield to all who take refuge in You. (Psalm 18:30) Open me up to the idea of you taking the wheel of my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.