Are you a good listener? Check out some of the questions that might help you evaluate your listening skills:
1. Do you often find yourself interrupting others?
2. Do you tend to focus on your thoughts while someone else is speaking?
3. Do you make eye contact with the speaker and pay attention to their body language?
4. Do you seek to understand the speaker’s feelings and perspective?
5. Do you try to listen without judgment or criticism?
6. Do you form your response while the other person is speaking?
7. How often do you interrupt when you have something to say in a conversation?
8. After someone tells you a story, how often do you follow up with your own story?
We are constantly distracted in the fast-paced world we live in. Between checking our phones and other interruptions, we often fail to listen when others are speaking.
It’s easy to respond to a listening quiz without truly changing our listening habits. Listening is about loving. It’s about cultivating a heart that is open and receptive to God’s voice and the needs of others. This kind of listening reflects the character of Jesus.
James 1:19-20 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.”
What would it look like to be attentive and receptive to the words and perspectives of others? How would being “slow to speak” change your communication? (thinking carefully before speaking) Are you easily provoked or quick to lash out in anger? God’s righteousness is characterized by patience, compassion, and humility. It seems that genuine righteousness comes from actively pursuing God and responding to others with grace rather than anger.
When we discipline ourselves to listen more than we talk, we can learn so much! There is wisdom gained by listening, observing, encouraging, and not rushing to judgment. It doesn't hurt to practice this!
I’m not sure how you judge yourself as a listener. For me, I know for sure that I can become a much better listener! Being quick to listen opens the door to better communication because it demonstrates love. May God help us grow to be excellent, loving listeners!
“Listening is a gift of spiritual significance that you can learn to give to others. When you listen, you give one a sense of importance, hope, and love that he or she may not receive any other way. Through listening, we nurture and validate the feelings one has, especially when he or she experiences difficulties in life.” H. Norman Wright
Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.