Looking for Love

I have fond memories of dancing the night away at Longhorn Ballroom in Dallas years ago. One song that got me on the dance floor super quickly was “Looking for Love” by Johny Lee:

“I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Lookin’ for love in too many faces
Searchin’ their eyes
Lookin’ for traces of what I’m dreaming of 
Hoping to find a friend and a lover
I’ll bless the day I discover another heart
Lookin’ for love”

It might be an old song now, but we can easily fall prey to the same thing today. There are many ways that we look for love. We can look for worth in worthless places. We can seek validation from social media only to come up short. We can accumulate wealth but still feel lonely. We may have prestigious careers but still feel like a lack. We may have a ton of friends but wonder whom you can really trust. We may have all the time in the world but feel we’re missing out.

Maybe some of the dissonances we’re feeling are that we’re trying to get love from someplace that was never intended to offer perfect love. Maybe it’s time to do something different.

When I was single, I came to the reality that I had to do something different. I was surrounded by people that had mostly everything I wanted in life. The pain was real. I struggled with God and questioned his ways. But at the same time, I ran to Him. I had to have a love that I could trust. One Psalm I remember memorizing during that season was Psalm 63. David, the writer of the Psalm, was hiding from his enemies in the desert and longed for someone he could trust in his loneliness. Take a look at Psalm 63:1:

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you, my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”
Yes, that’s how it felt—a dry and weary land where there is no water. Yet I made a conscious effort to find God in that dry and weary land. He graciously met me!

Maybe you know that feeling right now. Learn to point your longings first to your Heavenly Father. Consciously seek Him with all your heart. Give God the emptiness you feel. Tell him your grief. Tell him how you really feel. He can take it.

God has blessed us in this life with so much. I think when we keep Him first in our lives, He will provide the rest.

Take a listen as we consider His love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXSe4C-__mY

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Raw Emotions

Have you ever felt like emotions got the best of you? When tough things happen, all sorts of feelings can hit us out of left field.  Anger. Sadness. Hurt. Bitterness. Helplessness. Guilt. Loneliness. Failure. Jealousy. Frustration. Emoticons don’t even come close to what’s really going on inside of us. What do we do with our emotions? How do we handle them?

Jeremiah, a prophet in the Bible, had a ton of emotions. He didn’t hide them! God called Jeremiah to ministry as a prophet which would require costly obedience. He experienced much suffering, enormous rejection, and dark days of loneliness. He struggled with insecurity, emotional and physical pain, and no doubt depression. Because of the struggles of his nation Israel, he experienced such a dark time as a prophet for his people.

Check out Lamentations 3:21-25

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope;
Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, 
For his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my portion;
Therefore, I will wait for him.’
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, 
To the one who seeks him.” Lamentations 3:21-25

At the beginning of Chapter 3 of Lamentations, Jeremiah sounds like he’s at the end of his rope. But in Lamentations 3:21, something radically changes. When he says, “This I call to mind,’ Jeremiah’s experience changes. He recalls the truth of God’s word. Please note the seven statements about God in this text:

God’s love never stops.
His heart of compassion never becomes weak.
Every morning God’s heart is still full of love.
God is completely stable.
God is mine forever.
He is worthy of my hope.
God is good to those who seek Him. (Lamentations 3:21-25, Northpoint Church, 2020)

Maybe you need to reflect on these words about God. Sometimes we can get so focused on ourselves that we fail to remember the greatness and goodness of God and his promises. He’s not going anywhere. Maybe we need to replace our wrong thinking with what is true about God. 

If we’re honest, there are days when we walk through the day with some significant emotions. A bad day at work. Grieving a loved one. Dealing with a physical issue. Struggling in a relationship. Financial woes. Fears for the future. More shootings.

What challenges are you facing today that you can’t figure out? What in your life feels out of control? You may be able to hide your emotions from others, but you can’t hide them from God. He knows about how you feel and cares. I think we can all learn from Jeremiah. In his weakness and honesty, He recalled the truths about God. God can always be trusted, even when you don’t see the whole picture.

Take a listen, Great is Your Faithfulness, with Jenn Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiIaFUvF7k4

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

What We Don't See

There’s a pesky armadillo that is hiding in the field near where Daisy, my horse, lives. It hides in a burrow and then when a horse comes by it pops out and greets you. Keep in mind, we know this, but the horses don’t. I ventured near the armadillo’s hideout and was thankful I didn’t see him. I was super glad Daisy didn’t see him either! That doesn’t mean the armadillo wasn’t there.

We don’t see what we don’t see. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. We just don’t see it.

Mary Magdalene didn’t see Jesus after he had risen from the dead. But that doesn’t mean He wasn’t there. Can you imagine being Mary Magdalene that day, grieving so much, not totally understanding the resurrection? Check out the text:

“but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one of the heard and the others at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” They have taken my LORD away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. “Woman,” he said, “why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you could have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher)” John 20:11-18

Place yourself in Mary’s sandals. The text tells us that she was weeping. The Greek word used to describe her weeping means loud, uncontrollable wailing. (Bible.org. From Sorrow to Hope) Not only had Jesus died, but now she thought they had taken away his body and not given him a proper burial. Grief had blinded Mary from seeing Jesus. She had no expectation of seeing Jesus! She probably thought Jesus’ question “Why are you weeping?” was beyond crazy!

She didn’t see what she didn’t see. But that doesn’t mean He wasn’t there. Mary just didn’t see Him.

Jesus’ next question changed everything. “Who is it you are looking for?” Jesus didn’t wait for a response to his first question. He knew that the second question could answer everything!

Finally! Mary saw what she didn’t see! Mary had mistaken Him for the gardener! Jesus spoke one word: “Mary.” She didn’t see Him as He was, but she knew Jesus’ voice. All at once, her grief turned to joy!

Maybe you struggle to see Jesus. Maybe you just see him as the gardener, not as He really is. Jesus is here for You. You just may not see Him. Yet, He calls you by name: _______.(your name) Do you hear Him?

Once Mary understood who Jesus was, she responded with joy and immediately went to tell the other disciples. Jesus is alive and his tomb is totally empty! He won the victory over death!

What sorrows in life have kept you from seeing Jesus? Jesus is present for you and longs for a relationship with you, even if you think he’s the gardener.

When the life I built came crashing to the ground
When the friends I had were nowhere to be found
I couldn't see it then but I can see it now
There was Jesus
In the waiting, in the searching
In the healing and the hurting
Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces
Every minute, every moment
Where I've been and where I'm going
Even when I didn't know it or couldn't see it
There was Jesus. (Song by Dolly Parton and Zach Williams)

Take a listen to this great song by Dolly Parton and Zach Williams: There Was Jesus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37wV6D49iEY

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Good and Evil

Last Monday, I was just getting ready to step out of my car when I heard the news about the shooting. I was heading into our Y Early Learning Center at San Antonio’s Haven for Hope. Our Y staff serves our homeless families here by taking care of their children while the adults attend various classes throughout the day. I have the honor of praying for and encouraging our staff in their work.

As I entered, we talked together about what was unfolding in Nashville, Tennessee. We were all sort of numb, thinking that once more, we were listening to another tragedy unfold. It seemed like just yesterday, our friends in Uvalde were undone by similar horrors. With heavy hearts, we pushed forward to go about our day.

For so many in Nashville, they couldn’t go about their day. They experienced horrific sadness, fear and anger, tears, questions, absolute disbelief, and agonizing numbness. Their lives have been turned upside down. Those who have experienced a trauma like this know it all too well. I have seen it up close in my family. I have also seen God’s enormous grace and mercy in caring for those who hurt more deeply than most of us can imagine.

I have this innate need to want to make wrongs right. I want to get to the bottom of such craziness. I want to do something! In the middle of my anger, I see this verse in Scripture which partially feels hard: “Abhor what is evil…Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12;9, 21) I DO abhor evil. But, overcome evil with good? What????

Jesus extends the call to hate evil. Actually, no one hates evil more than Jesus does. No one on this earth has ever defeated evil, except for One, Jesus. Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week with Christ’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem, with people yelling “Hosanna!"  However, Jesus’ journey that week was terrifying. He was betrayed by his own disciple. He sat with his disciples at the Last Supper, knowing full well what was about to happen. He was arrested, ridiculed, spit on, beaten, and ultimately crucified. Yet throughout all the insults, scourging, and suffering, He did not retaliate. He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23) He is our example of overcoming evil with good.

It feels like evil won the day that Christ was nailed to the cross. He submitted himself to evil captors and there he died on the cross. Why would God allow such a death?

When we confront the trauma of Gethsemane, we will find a Savior who came to offer an answer to the evil of this world. He came to deal with the sin problem that each one of us has. God had a plan all along! “For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

We do have hope in the death and resurrection of Jesus. And as we live in this world, we get to be the hands and feet of Jesus, offering love and care to those who are suffering. Our YMCA branches are sending cards to our colleagues in Middle Tennessee YMCA. Our Y kids are coloring “Nashville Strong” sheets to send to their children. We’re also committed to praying for those in Nashville. Of course, we can all do something, but it starts with the One who already did something, Jesus.

As Scotty Smith writes “We cling to you as our only good and adore you as our perfect Savior. Help us steward our anger, confusion, sadness, and fear. Help us hate only evil, by loving you more than we ever have.”And for that, I say a very hearty Amen. 

In our grief, we cling to Jesus and the hope of heaven. Take a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCdevloDE6E 


Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio