Trusting When We Can't See

This past week, I underwent a minor eye surgery that required me to receive anesthesia.  I'm not a fan of receiving the stuff, but equally not a fan of pain either.  So, I play a game in my head to fight to stay awake and "with it" during the procedure.  Of course, I wasn't successful.  In the recovery room, I supposedly asked a few questions of the nurse.  I don't even remember a recovery room!  So much for winning my internal game of staying "with it."

I started thinking about the importance of "trust" when you entrust a doctor to do work on an eye or any part of the body.  I wouldn't just let anyone work on my eye.  I needed to know that this doctor was reliable and had a good reputation in his line of work.  Trust is defined as someone or something that is reliable, good, honest and effective.  Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. Yes, trust is important when it comes to medical procedures.

Have you thought about how often you practice trusting in one day?  We trust our alarm to wake us up. We trust our computers to work efficiently.  We trust bridges to be sturdy.  We trust that our car will work.  We trust that we will have water, food, and lodging.  We trust that we will get up and move each day.  We trust planes to get us to our destination.  We trust our banks to protect our money. We trust the chair we sit in. We trust without even thinking!

This week, I've been reminded over and over of my need to trust God.  I experienced a few days where it was hard to see anything.  I felt out of control.  Helpless. Every step with hesitation. It occurred to me how I take the daily miracles of sight, sound and movement for granted. My experience was yet again another reminder of my need to trust God...for everything.

Man's wisdom, understanding and knowledge only go so far.  It is limited.  We don't get why certain things happen or do not happen.  We don't get why good people leave this earth far too early.  We don't comprehend why a "911" would happen.  Ebola. War. You name it.  But, as I study scriptures, I see that the word of God is filled with every answer needed to overcome the toughest of circumstances that come our way.  God's word brings guidance, hope, encouragement and wisdom for what we endure while on this earth. We can trust God even though we don't see everything!

What is your need today?  Even if you may be angry or distant from God today, I encourage you to try Him.  Press in and just try God.   He loves you more than you can imagine.   For those of you who love God and struggling today, I pray that you will be able to trust Him fully despite the circumstances that weigh you down this day.  Start this day KNOWING that God is in control.  He is worthy of your trust.

"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?  The LORD is with me; He is m helper.  I will look in triumph on my enemies.  It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.  It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes." Psalm 118:6-9

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

To Fear or Not To Fear!

Ebola.  I bet last year at this time "Ebola" wasn't even in our vocabulary.  All at once, it's a word we can't seem to escape.  Just this last week, most of us saw the news about a patient at a Dallas hospital with Ebola.  ISIS.  Another word that a year or two ago, wasn't in our vocabulary. Yet, now, brings up images of threat, fear and beheadings. It's amazing how there's always something new we can fear. Ebola. ISIS. Cancer.  The list goes on.  Yet, we have a choice. To fear or not to fear. Does freaking out help? Absolutely not.

Remember Joshua in the Bible? He too had to deal with something totally out of his control.  God had commanded Joshua to lead the Israelites to capture Jericho.  But Jericho was protected by a massive wall that encircled the city.  What must it have been like for Joshua to stand at the wall of Jericho? Pretty intimidating, to be sure.

So God gave a pretty strange plan to Joshua.  He told Joshua to have the men march around the city once each day for six days.  The priests were to carry the ark, blowing trumpets, but the soldiers were to be quiet.  On the seventh day, the assembly marched around the walls of Jericho seven times.  And then, in a flash, between Rahab, some spies and some great hiding, something amazing happened. (Joshua 1-6:25) The walls fell down!  The Israelite army rushed in and conquered the city.  Only Rahab and her family survived.

As a leader, Joshua felt pretty inadequate for the role ahead of him.  I can only imagine He needed some reassurance.  He was taking Moses' place! Pretty cool how God spoke to Joshua and said "Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) Just at the moment needed. I need those times of encouragement from God frequently. Don't you?

We, just like Joshua, may not always understand God's ways.  As humans, it's easy to question God. When we're bind sided by circumstances, sicknesses and other weird things, it's easy to wonder if God is REALLY in control.  Let me assure you, God IS in control.  Today. Always. What are you freaking out today? Will you trust God?  Will you trust God for the circumstances that are out of your control?  God has not changed since Joshua's times.  He promises to be with you wherever you go. Why not start your day trusting God....with everything that comes your way?

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Cracks in the Windshield

It appears to be the year for new windshields.  I must have a propensity for driving behind big trucks with stones that aim right for my Toyota.  It happened for the second time this year.  Safe Flight is now a favorite in my phone.  This last time, it was a pretty small crack, so we hoped the repair would be sufficient.  It didn't take long to see  the crack force itself further up my windshield.  As I write, Mr. Safe Flight is working hard to replace my windshield in my driveway.

Cracks appear everywhere.  Cracks in the sidewalk.  Cracks in a glass. Cracks in the ceiling. Cracks usually aren't a good thing.  Sometimes, we even have cracks in our heart.  A crack in the heart may hardly even be noticeable to most, but it's just like that small crack in the windshield.  It grows and grows and grows larger as time goes on...until it finally needs to be repaired.

How do cracks come into our life?  Sometimes, it's like the tiniest little rock that comes out of nowhere into our windshield.  We don't see it, feel it, or know it even happened.  Other times, it's more noticeable. The stone that you see coming and boom...the windshield shatters.  For our hearts, that might be a difficult season that was devestating.  A loss of some kind.  A painful relationship that seemingly has no resolve.  We tend to want to hide these cracks once we recognize they are bothersome.  We make light of them. Try to place them out of our mind.  Tell ourselves to get over it. Yet, somehow, they keep popping back to the surface of our mind...tempting us to either stuff or admit that something is wrong.

Sometimes, the last One we attempt to call upon is the one who can really fix our cracks.  It didn't take long to get Safe Flight on the phone, but it's just a bother to have to set it all up.  What about the cracks of our heart?  Honestly, when it comes to me, I often would rather put off dealing with my stuff...the cracks that rise up and remind me and others that I'm far from perfect.  It's easier to stuff our stuff, right?

God is all about putting back together pieces of our heart that are broken.  He created our hearts and knows them better than we know them ourselves.  He is THE healer.  He is the great engineer of the soul. He loves when we come to Him, admitting our brokenness.  He is a gentleman, who waits for us to seek Him.  He even says so in the Bible..."You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.." declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:13-14)

As you start this day, spend some quiet time opening yourself up to God and the day before you. Consider the cracks that might be penetrating your heart.  Are you willing to deal with them?  Do you really want to be healed?  Open your heart and invite God to begin the process.  Don't keep watching the crack grow..... remember, it just keeps getting bigger.

"Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.  It is this fragile thread that binds us together." Brian G. Dyson

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Mountain Bike Adventures

My husband, Ben, has been mountain biking for years and loves the thrill of riding through fields, around tight curves, up steep rocky hills and going down those same hills.  He's good.  Very good.  Me?  Just a beginner.  Just recently, we bought a new mountain bike for me that springs like my Springer Spaniel and has wheels as big as a tractor.  Not really; but feels like it.

So, this weekend, we went out on our 2nd mountain bike expedition together.  Ben was teaching me tricks of the trade as we rode.  When to shift gears. How to go down steep hills.  Best way to ride the rocks. How to balance. It was pretty fun.  As a beginner, I'm really enjoying the smooth, no hills and frills paths that just wind their way through the park.  Pretty easy.  Not as dangerous.  Not much effort to exert here.  I know in time, I'll enjoy the more exciting hills, but not yet.

As I was biking today, it occurred to me that mountain biking is a lot like the path of our own personal lives.  There are times where it seems like life couldn't be better.  Smooth. Everything (job, relationships, family, finances, social life, etc.) is going just amazingly well.  I love those times!  I want to bottle them up and hope life stays so nice.

But, I've been alive long enough to know that life isn't always so smooth and carefree.  The tough, steep, rocky days DO come and we're never quite ready for them.  Death of a loved one. Job change. Relational strife. Whatever it is, rocky days are never welcomed.  When I started up one of those hills today, I realized I didn't have my bike in the right gear and couldn't make it.  I had to get off and walk the rest of the way.  Rocky paths can really trip us up.  We have to slow down, stop, re-evaluate, make changes to the path we're on.  Sometimes, we have to turn around and go back.  Start over. That's tough too.

Today, my husband, Ben was quick to check on me the entire trip.  He called out ahead and told me what to look for.  He told me how to maneuver my bike at certain points.  He knows bike secrets. He's pretty good at this.  Even when my bike had a technical difficulty, he was able to help bring it back to working order and carry on with our ride.

What a reminder today of our need for God!  He delights in bringing blessings and joys along life's path. God is a present and personal God who longs to walk with us through the ups and downs of life. When we're fearful for what's next, He's there to give peace and help.  Eventually, we will ALL have those rocky times of life. God's presence during these life circumstances bring hope and encouragement.

As you start this day, would you consider your relationship with God? Would you like to grow closer to God?  If so, tell Him!  Where do you need guidance?  Help with the rocky circumstances that come your way?  Wisdom for which path to take? God really does want to help you.  Just ask.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path". Psalm 119:105

"You make know to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

The Power of A Blessing

People are paying more and more attention to our words than ever before.  People pay attention to what we say AND what we don't say.  Words have power.  The more negative, the more hurtful.  This morning, on the way to the barn, I was waiting in a long line at a light.  I heard and saw someone next to me who had obviously cut around the line of cars to edge in. Yelling and waving her hand angrily, she was demanding I let her in.  A little much for seven in the morning.  I was too far along to let her in, but she was NOT happy with me.  What a way to start the day.

The lack of words have power too!  I've seen how this is true with the phenomenon of facebook.  Facebook gives us an easy quick way of blessing someone.  Even one sentence.  Facebook can also be used as a way to withhold blessing someone.  OK, how often have you withheld a "like" because you really have a judgment against that person?  Instead of blessing, we can use it as a tool to withhold a blessing.  Say it aint' so.  We do the same thing in day to day life with each other.

Mother Teresa once said "Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless." How true! Your words, whether they are helpful and encouraging or hurtful and judgmental can reverberate through people's lives for a long time.  It takes so little time to bless people these days.  You can send a facebook note, text, email or phone call. Do you realize how our small gesture can make a huge difference in someone's day?

Every day, people can receive criticism, discouraging words and negative feedback.  Every day, we ourselves can dole out a ton of personal criticism even on ourselves.  We can live in our own shame and guilt.  We can become so engaged in our own stuff, we forget about those around us.  When was the last time you told someone "You are important to me! You are loved by God.  I'm so grateful for you and your impact on my life."

This week, as kids go back to school and fall returns, wouldn't it be a great time to start your week with blessing others?  If you have kids, start with your kids.  Your family.  Your friends. Facebook. Work associates. The barista. The waiter.  And the list goes on.  Be a blessing. Give a blessing.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

The Tears of a Clown

Now, if there's a smile on my face. It's only there trying to fool the public.  but when it comes down to fooling you.  Now, honey, that's quite a different subject.  But don't let my glad expression. Give you the wrong impression. Really, I'm sad, oh sadder than sad. You're gone and I'm hurting so bad. Like a clown I pretend to be glad. Now, there's some sad things known to man. But ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around. O  yeah baby, now if I appear to be carefree, it's only to camouflage my sadness. In order to shield my pride I try to cover this hurt with a show of gladness........ Smokey Robinson, The Tears of a Clown

Whether it's social media, TV or just people talking at work, we've all been shocked by the death of beloved Robin Williams.  We loved him.  He made us laugh.  So full of life. So full of wit.  He was a part of our home, entertaining us for years. It's hard to believe he's gone. We are grateful for what he brought to our world and very sad that he's left this world way too soon. We read the tributes and feel a sense of personal grief for a man we didn't know.

When I was growing up, I had no idea what the song "Tears of a Clown" was all about.  I just thought it was a fun song.  But, not really.  It's about deep sadness.  The need to fool the public.  Camouflage sadness. Shield pride.  Cover the hurts.  I wonder if Robin Williams could identify with this song.  Maybe you and I can too.

How does Robin William's death affect you?  How can his life and death inspire you to be a better you?  First, I think it's a call to extend compassion to those in our midst.  We miss people day in and day out who are hiding their sadness. We can be so consumed with our work, our phones, our lives...that we miss someone next to us that needs a huge dose of encouragement.  I remember during some of the darker times of my life, I just longed for someone to ask...How are you really doing?  So, often, we fail to ask. We don't have time for the answer. People need compassion everywhere. A smile. An encouragement. A prayer. 

Secondly, take a hard look at yourself.  Sadly, we are often so busy that we allow our own personal needs to go by the wayside.  We can crash out of sheer exhaustion.  When we continue to lay our own personal and emotional health aside, we suffer.  There is hard stuff in this world! If you are hurting, seek help.  A counselor.  A support group.  A friend to help you bear your burden.  Don't hide. Don't think it'll just go away all by itself. Deal with it.

Finally, press in to God. If we live long enough, we will all have our moments where we question life.  Circumstances that go south.  Tragedy. Pain beyond what we can bear.  Some blame God on these things.  That only makes things worse.  There is peace found when we press into God, not turn away from Him.  He can help us through the most difficult of times...if only we let Him.

"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish.  Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely to weep with those in tears.  Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless.  Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human." Henri Nouwen- Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.

Good Dog; Bad Dog!

Our new little pup, Zoe, is a canine version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  This old film tells the story of Dr. Henry Jekyll, a kind English doctor in London who is certain that within each man lurks impulses for both good and evil.  One minute, Zoe can be wrapped up in my arms, coddling and cooing like the sweetest puppy on the earth.  The next minute, she sounds like a roaring lion, ready to trounce on anyone trying to get her latest toy.  The back and forth nature of our puppy's personality is pretty comical.

A few days ago, during one of Zoe's finer moments, I had to wonder if she could actually read.  She's pretty smart, but not that smart.   I was working away at my desk when all at once I looked down to see her eating a book.  She's tried to eat a variety of non-edible items, but this is the first book.  The name of the book was "How to Raise the Perfect Dog" by Cesar Millan.  She took a good chunk out of the cover.  Yum.  Not sure if she was trying to tell me something, but it definitely made for a good laugh.

At times, Zoe is a very good dog.  She is doing well in puppy training and super smart at picking up new tricks.  She is just a blast to have.  At times, Zoe is a bad dog.  She still bites.  Growls like a lion. Gets under your feet. Forgets to go outside to do her business.  You get the idea.

Zoe's actions are no different than our own human nature.  We can look great to the outside world, have  a stellar performance at work and yet come home and get in a fight with our spouse.  Even with the greatest of intentions, our normal sinful nature pops out when least expected.  We can stretch the truth.  Get mad on the freeway. Gossip.  Judge.  Hurt others.  Goof up big time at work.  We're human.

Guess what?  We're ALL broken people.  I am.  You are.  And we can't cover it up, as hard as we try.  We are all sinful people.  All of us.  Our help to change comes from God who sent His Son Jesus to die for our sins.  Jesus too came to us broken, bruised and bleeding.  He has answers for our hurts.  He wants to heal the broken places of your heart.  There is nothing you've done or experienced that Jesus can't sympathize with you.  He understands.  He is there for you.  As much as we want to run to people for answers, people will not always have the ability to be there for you all the time.

People can give great advice, help and encouragement.  But, God knows us better than we know ourselves.  He has answers for our problems.  Aren't you glad you don't have to be perfect?  As you start this day, draw near to the One who knows and loves the real you.

"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

Nancy Abbott is the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.