When was the last time you shocked someone by doing the right thing? While shopping at HEB, I've been known to walk out of the store, get to my car and realize I have an unpaid item still lurking in the far corner of my cart. I grumble to myself and make my way back to the cashier with the item. Often, I get a response like "Thank you so much! You are so kind to bring it back!" Perhaps you, too, have experienced first-hand how people are shocked by you doing the right thing.
Isn't it sad that we live in a world where people are more shocked by people demonstrating integrity than the lack of it? Every day, we are confronted in the news of people who have done the wrong thing. Maybe it's a professional athlete that you look up to. Perhaps, it's a politician that you had supported. A businessmen caught cheating on his customers. Even Christian leaders have been found embezzling, visiting with prostitutes, or taking drugs. No longer are we surprised by such actions.
It's very easy for us to "cast stones" at those who make obvious wrong choices. We are quick to judge their actions. We do it without a thought. In fact, probably in the last few months, most of us have had an opinion of a certain sports figure located in College Station. It's easy to judge. But, how easy is it for you and me to be a person of integrity?
Practicing integrity means that your behavior matches your beliefs. (Craig Groeschel, Altar Ego) Integrity is defined as a state of being whole. Undivided. Complete. Synonyms of integrity are honesty and unity. Every day, we are given a choice to live, act and speak with integrity. In our social circumstances, for example, we often present ourselves in the best possible light, so as to appear how others want us to be. That, my friend, is a mask. It's not who you really are, but who you're pretending to be. Far from integrity.
If people who know you were asked to describe you with 5 different qualities, would integrity be one of them? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be known as a man or woman of integrity? Stop the white lies. No more cheating. Be honest with your spouse. Demonstrate integrity in your work life. Don't exaggerate your stories. No lying on the resume. Make a difference by living a life of integrity.
"Integrity doesn't come in degrees: low, medium, or high. You either have integrity or you don't." Tony Dungy
"May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in you." Psalm 25:21
Nancy Abbott is Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
A Picture of Unconditional Love
Last week, something showed up on Facebook that will forever be etched in my mind. The picture told more than a thousand words. Picture with me seeing a cute loveable cuddly 10-month old baby boy wrapping his arms around a 50-something woman. The woman, however, seemed to be staring off into the distance, limp, with no expression. Here is what the caption read:
"If you ever wondered what unconditional love looked like, here is a picture. This is Kevin Fay, giving his Grandma Lori a big hug. Lori has Young Onset Alzheimer's disease. She can't hold Kevin, say his name, sing him a song, read him a book or bake him a cookie. Kevin doesn't care. The second he is held in Lori's lap, he hugs Lori with his whole body and soul. I think it was Jesus who said if anyone wanted to truly comprehend God's kingdom of love, all one needed to do was pay attention to the way little children lived their lives. I think I'll pay attention to Kevin more closely." Gil Wesley
Gil, Lori's husband, a former All-American football center from Florida State, has walked a tough road. His college sweetheart and first wife, Debbie, died of brain cancer in her thirties, leaving behind two small children. Now, Lori, lives in a care facility in Chico, California, where Young Onset Alzheimer's has taken over her life. Here is one guy who has experienced his share of pain in life. Yet, on Facebook, he's giving us a glimpse of what really matters. A teachable moment, if you will, for all to see. Priceless.
Someone posted below the picture "How can a picture break my heart and warm me all the way to my bones at the same time?" Someone else wrote "Thanks for catching God working in Kevin and sharing it with us all." Another friend wrote Gil, it behooves all of us to see, grasp and embrace this unadulterated love of a child. It's true....kids really are, in their unique way, powerful, genuine and lovely in moments like this."
Could it be that we get so caught up in our own adult world that we forget the simplicity and unconditional love of a child? As we "grow up", do we lose the freedom to simply love with no conditions? We can learn so much from a child. Go ahead, reach out and love freely today. Really love. No strings attached love. Become like a child.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18
Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio
"If you ever wondered what unconditional love looked like, here is a picture. This is Kevin Fay, giving his Grandma Lori a big hug. Lori has Young Onset Alzheimer's disease. She can't hold Kevin, say his name, sing him a song, read him a book or bake him a cookie. Kevin doesn't care. The second he is held in Lori's lap, he hugs Lori with his whole body and soul. I think it was Jesus who said if anyone wanted to truly comprehend God's kingdom of love, all one needed to do was pay attention to the way little children lived their lives. I think I'll pay attention to Kevin more closely." Gil Wesley
Gil, Lori's husband, a former All-American football center from Florida State, has walked a tough road. His college sweetheart and first wife, Debbie, died of brain cancer in her thirties, leaving behind two small children. Now, Lori, lives in a care facility in Chico, California, where Young Onset Alzheimer's has taken over her life. Here is one guy who has experienced his share of pain in life. Yet, on Facebook, he's giving us a glimpse of what really matters. A teachable moment, if you will, for all to see. Priceless.
Someone posted below the picture "How can a picture break my heart and warm me all the way to my bones at the same time?" Someone else wrote "Thanks for catching God working in Kevin and sharing it with us all." Another friend wrote Gil, it behooves all of us to see, grasp and embrace this unadulterated love of a child. It's true....kids really are, in their unique way, powerful, genuine and lovely in moments like this."
Could it be that we get so caught up in our own adult world that we forget the simplicity and unconditional love of a child? As we "grow up", do we lose the freedom to simply love with no conditions? We can learn so much from a child. Go ahead, reach out and love freely today. Really love. No strings attached love. Become like a child.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18
Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain for the YMCA of Greater San Antonio
Daring Greatly
Think about the last time you felt really vulnerable. For most of us, it's one of those roads we least like to travel. Who wants to live open to others so they can see the real deal? We'd much rather slap on a smile, say "I'm fine," even when we're struggling beneath the surface. Sadly, most of us view vulnerability as weakness. We've been taught that are entire life.
Recently, I heard Dr. Brene' Brown speak at Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit. Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston-Graduate College of Social Work. She is an expert in shame and vulnerability. Her most recent book, Daring Greatly, "means the courage to be vulnerable. To show up and be seen. To ask for what you need, to talk about what you're feeling. To have the hard conversations." This past week, she was interviewed on Oprah about vulnerability.
Most of us aren't good at vulnerability. We think back to our vulnerable moments in life and cringe. They weren't fun. Dr. Brown, in her research, talked to many people about their most vulnerable moments. Some of them were "The first date after my divorce. Trying to get pregnant after my third miscarriage. Sitting with my wife, who has stage 4 breast cancer, making plans for our children. Picking up the phone to call someone who has just experienced a great loss."
So often, we avoid at all costs the things that cause the most vulnerability. What if you did pick up the phone and talk to someone who has experienced a loss? Wouldn't that feel amazing after they thanked you over and over for calling? Taking that risk and facing into someone's pain is courageous.
Sadly, we've experienced critics in life that have had the power to keep us from being truly vulnerable. They've had way too much power in our lives. As time goes on, we slowly attach a mask that can grow thicker and thicker. Have you ever thought about how crazy it is to evaluate your identity based on the reactions of others around you? Yet, we regularly do just that.
Consider that the God who created you loves you more than anyone on the face of the earth. Nothing you can ever do will ever change his love for you. You have people in your life who love you and are FOR you. Why be so consumed about what other people think? Think about how your life might change if you dared greatly to be vulnerable. To be who you really are. It takes courage. Dare greatly.
"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly.... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." Theodore Roosevelt
Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
Recently, I heard Dr. Brene' Brown speak at Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit. Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston-Graduate College of Social Work. She is an expert in shame and vulnerability. Her most recent book, Daring Greatly, "means the courage to be vulnerable. To show up and be seen. To ask for what you need, to talk about what you're feeling. To have the hard conversations." This past week, she was interviewed on Oprah about vulnerability.
Most of us aren't good at vulnerability. We think back to our vulnerable moments in life and cringe. They weren't fun. Dr. Brown, in her research, talked to many people about their most vulnerable moments. Some of them were "The first date after my divorce. Trying to get pregnant after my third miscarriage. Sitting with my wife, who has stage 4 breast cancer, making plans for our children. Picking up the phone to call someone who has just experienced a great loss."
So often, we avoid at all costs the things that cause the most vulnerability. What if you did pick up the phone and talk to someone who has experienced a loss? Wouldn't that feel amazing after they thanked you over and over for calling? Taking that risk and facing into someone's pain is courageous.
Sadly, we've experienced critics in life that have had the power to keep us from being truly vulnerable. They've had way too much power in our lives. As time goes on, we slowly attach a mask that can grow thicker and thicker. Have you ever thought about how crazy it is to evaluate your identity based on the reactions of others around you? Yet, we regularly do just that.
Consider that the God who created you loves you more than anyone on the face of the earth. Nothing you can ever do will ever change his love for you. You have people in your life who love you and are FOR you. Why be so consumed about what other people think? Think about how your life might change if you dared greatly to be vulnerable. To be who you really are. It takes courage. Dare greatly.
"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood: who strives valiantly.... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." Theodore Roosevelt
Nancy Abbott serves as the Chaplain of the YMCA of Greater San Antonio.
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